


Hold Me Down

by AlexanderPeterson



Series: Hold Me Down [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, D/s, Daddy Kink, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forced Prostitution, Forgive Me, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Murder, Implied/Referenced Past Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Multi, Oral Sex, Physical Abuse, Power Imbalance, Praise Kink, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Threesome - M/M/M, Verbal Abuse, Violence, tags are ever changing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:30:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 66,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderPeterson/pseuds/AlexanderPeterson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*I sold my soul to a three-piece, and he told me I was holy*</p><p>"Are you ready to stop mouthing off to me, princess?"<br/>Alexander and John are stuck in an abusive relationship with Thomas Jefferson, when he says "Jump" they say "How high?"</p><p>***First chapter is a more complete summary with additional warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Author's Note

Hey everyone, I just wanted to make the first chapter here a warning.

I'm already kinkshaming myself pretty hard right now, so you don't have to do it for me.

  


But on a more serious note: This may be a hard fic to read.

I know I tagged everything but, the major warnings for this include but are not limited to: Rape/ Non-con, physical and verbal abuse, forced prostitution, drug use, violence, and character death.

I'll put extra warnings on particularly violent chapters.

My dear readers. While I always appreciate your views and love having you read my work, I wish the best for you and if you don't feel like you can stomach this please, please, please don't read it. I won't be offended.

  


-Thomas loves his boys. He really does. He just wishes they would _behave_ better. Especially Alexander. He's a firecracker with a bad habit of mouthing off. Not like John. Lovely, submissive John.

-Alexander will take whatever affection he can get. Part of him _knows_ he's in trouble but he's starved for love. He thrives on praise and does as he's told to get it.

-John knows he's got it easy. He lives in the lap of luxury. He doesn't have the hard to cover bruises that Alexander does, he counts the hits, he knows he doesn't get as many. He gets to stay home more often. He always wishes he could change that.

-Washington knows this is wrong. Everything about this situation is wrong. After his divorce, he can't bring himself to care about the wrongness of what _he's_ doing, but his heart feels like it's in a vice whenever he sees bruises on Alex's perfect skin.

-Lafayette's always been able to keep his anger under wraps. Always. It's part of the job. Bar-tending isn't as easy as he makes it look. But seeing Alexander and John flinch away from Mr. Jefferson, seeing the bruises, the way Mr. Jefferson _looks_ at them. It makes his skin crawl and it's getting harder and harder not to punch his boss in his smug mouth. But he's got Hercules- strong, calm Hercules to keep him in check. There's only so long that can last though.

I'll see you in the first chapter soon.

Much love,  
Kay


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning folks!
> 
> Welcome to the first chapter. Thank you for joining me in this messed up journey. I hope you enjoy!

XOXO

 

Alexander knew he was bad. He knew he had been a brat all day, but it was hard for him to hold his tongue. It always had been. Thomas could put him back in his place though. He always could. Alex gave an experimental wiggle and felt the handcuffs he had been put in dig into his wrists. He mourned the sharpness, knowing there would be marks there for days. Nobody liked marks on his pretty skin, Thomas said so. No one was allowed to leave marks on him, not even John. But when Alex didn't have to work Thomas would give him a few hickeys. The were always light, but Alex cherished them, held his head up higher to show off the pretty purple marks on his throat. He felt _owned_ when Thomas marked him up. He felt _loved_. And living in that state of mind was always worth it. Even if the marks only lasted a couple of days. It was so, so, so worth it.

He knew Thomas loved him. He just had a different way of showing it. Sure, other people thought he was mean, but they didn't really _know_ him. He always praised Alex when he was good and always corrected him when he was bad. He only raised his voice because Alex wouldn't listen.

Alex could hear Thomas moving around the room and he started to squirm. He was starting to get impatient. The handcuffs were digging into his wrists, the blindfold over his eyes was starting to itch, and his jaw ached from having a ball gag between his teeth for what felt like hours, but at least the hotel blankets were soft under his knees. He had been told to wait his turn, so he had. Sitting in near silence, a stray whimper escaping now and then, while he listened to Thomas fuck John. He was being good. He would get his reward.

“Are you ready to stop mouthing off to me, princess?” Thomas' voice was soft velvet in his ear. He shivered and nodded eagerly. “What do you say?” A sharp slap to his cheek. Alex did his best to swallow the saliva that had pooled in his mouth and whined, trying to push the ball past his teeth with his tongue. “Keep it in and beg baby.” Thomas purred, running a hand down his chest, nails raking across his skin gently. Alex wondered for a moment if the lines would stay for more than a few hours. Probably not. He hadn't been good enough for that. He huffed a breath through his nose, trying to form words around the hard rubber in his mouth. Al that came out was a muffled, garbled 'please' and a strained whine. Alex felt Thomas' hand at the back of his head and braced himself for the pull to his hair that he was certain he would receive. Instead Thomas unclasped the strap that held the gag in place and pulled the ball from between his teeth gently, almost lovingly. Alex gulped in his first real breath of air in god knows how long.

“Thank you, sir.” He panted. “Thank you.” His tongue felt heavy in his mouth and he could feel saliva dripping down his chin.

“Are you ready to be good now?” Thomas asked again, swiping his thumb over Alex's lower lip.

“Yes, sir.” He whimpered, licking at his thumb. “I'll be good. I'll be so good for you. I'll be good like John.” He babbled, hearing John let out a breathy little laugh from the other side of the room.

“Good like John, huh?” Thomas ran his fingers through Alex's hair. “I don't know if you can be as good as John, princess. You cuss too much. Are you going to watch your mouth this time?”

“Anything you want sir.”

“If you swear you're going to get hit, you know that right?” Alex bit back a yelp as Thomas' hand came down hard on his ass.

“F-... Yes sir. I understand.”

“And you'll sleep alone tonight. You hear me?” Another sharp slap, in the same spot. “No John to cuddle with you, Alexander.”

“I understand sir. Please.” He whined. “I've been so good.”

“Please what, princess? What do you want.” Thomas teased. Alex bit his lip when those long fingers started playing with his nipples.

“I want you to f-... I want your-.” Alex squirmed. Damn. This was harder than he thought it would be. But he didn't want to sleep by himself. He wanted to hold John. He wanted to kiss him and play with him once Thomas went home to go to bed. “I want you inside me, sir.” He finally managed to choke out.

“And where do you want me, princess? In that pretty little mouth of yours, or in your ass?” Alex bit the tip of his tongue nervously. God he just wanted Thomas to hold him down and fuck him. But he couldn't ask for it. Not like that. But if he didn't say what he wanted Thomas would be angry. He'd probably just fuck his throat then leave. But Alex wanted _more_. He wanted to be filled.

“Sir, I can't...”

“Go ahead. Say it. Tell _daddy_ what you want.” Alex shivered.

“Please... I want-”

“Please what, princess?”

“Please, _daddy_...” Alex was getting impatient again. He didn't feel like he could beg properly if Thomas wouldn't let him swear. “I can't say it.” He almost sobbed when Thomas' fingers, slick with saliva, brushed over his hole. “There!” He gasped, arching his back.

“Here? You want daddy to fuck your ass?” Thomas bit gently into Alex's shoulder, pushing two fingers in deep.

“Yes! Yes daddy please!”

“What do you think, John?” His voice was smooth as silk. “Has our pretty Alexander earned my cock?”

“Be nice to him daddy.” Alex felt the bed dip next to him and he shivered in delight hearing John so close to his ear. John rarely called Thomas 'daddy'. They had a different dynamic. Sometimes Alex was jealous. He didn't know of who though. Both probably. Jealous of Thomas for getting John whenever he wanted. Jealous of John for getting all the soft touches that _he_ wanted. John hardly got yelled at. But he was good. He didn't mouth off to Thomas, he always did as he was told, and he was always so pretty when he begged.

“Bring me more lube, love.” Alex felt Thomas lean over him and heard him kiss John. Another flair of jealousy tightened his chest and he bit the inside of his cheek.

 _'Hold your tongue.'_ He reminded himself. _'You're being so good Alexander. He's being so kind. Don't ruin it.'_ He whined when Thomas pulled his fingers from his ass but the emptiness didn't last long. Two fingers were back, slicker than they had been before and Alex moaned. Thomas' fingers were so long and he used them so _well_.

“You're so pretty like this Alexander.” John praised, tapping his fingertips all the way down his spine slowly. “If you're good you'll get more of this. Won't he daddy?”

“Of course!” Thomas laughed running his fingers through Alex's hair. “If my boys behave,” he pushed his fingers in deeper. “If they do as they're told. They get rewards. You like it when I praise you, don't you princess?” Thomas gave Alex's ear a soft kiss and pressed another finger in.

“Y-Yes! God yes!”Alex squirmed, the handcuffs dug into his wrists again and he had to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from swearing.

“Good boy.” His cock twitched and he buried his face in the sheets. “We'll get you trained up nice and proper like John, won't we?”

“Yes daddy.” Alex moaned. “I want to be good like John.” Thomas pulled his fingers away again and a small sob slipped past Alex's lips. “Please don't stop!” He begged. “Please... please...”

“Needy.” Thomas gave him a swift smack on his ass. “You'll get what you want when I decide to give it to you.” He scolded. “John, come sit here won't you?” Alex felt Thomas pat the space in front of him and then John was there, one leg up over Alex's shoulder, letting him rest his head on his thigh.

“John...” Alex smiled up at him and wished he could see his face. Damned blindfolds.

“Alexander...” John sighed back fondly. “You look so perfect. Do you want him to fuck you?” John's fingers were tangled up in his hair.

“God, yes... Can I have it daddy? Please? I need your c-... I need you filling me up.”

“You're doing so well. Your mouth looks so much prettier when you're not cussing like a sailor.”

 _'You're one to fucking talk...'_ Alex willed himself not to speak. If he started talking back again he would get hit. He wouldn't be able to stay with John tonight.

“I wonder though. How long will you hold out when I'm fucking you?” Thomas lined the tip of his cock up with Alex's hole and pushed in slowly. Almost too slowly. Alexander gasped and pressed his face against John's thigh, giving the soft skin there a little nip. As long as he didn't leave marks he was allowed to bite. “Can you keep it up while daddy fucks you princess? Hm?” Thomas started thrusting, short, hard thrusts that punched the air from Alexander's lungs.

“I'll be good! I promise!” He sobbed. “Just don't stop- please. I'll be so good!” He could feel a muscle in John's thigh twitch and he was breathing shallowly. “Are you hard John?” God, how he wanted to look up into John's eyes right now. They were so pretty. A perfect hazel surrounded by a dusting of freckles and he always looked at Alex like he was his whole world.

“I am.”

“Daddy may I?” Alex moaned. “Can I please suck him?” Thomas smacked his ass again. Harder this time.

“Don't get greedy.” He growled, speeding up his thrusts, forcing out needy gasps and moans.

“Not-” A gasp, “Being greedy.” He insisted. “Just-” he moaned, “Want to make John fell good too. Trying to-... Trying to be good.”

“Give him your fingers John.” Thomas ordered. John whined. “Now. John. Or you'll get nothing from him later.” Alex parted his lips obediently for his love's fingers, two of them, and took them in eagerly. If it was a show Thomas wanted, it was a show he was going to get. He rolled his tongue around John's fingers and heard his head hit the wall behind the bed.

“God... Alexander...” John rarely used Alex's full name but when he did it sounded like a prayer. He loved it. When Thomas used it though... it sounded like a threat. That was okay though. That way he knew when he was in trouble. He knew when he needed to be good.

“That's right. What a pretty mouth you've got. It looks so nice on his fingers.” Thomas groaned. His thrusts were shallower now, more erratic. “I'm close, princess.” He warned.

“Please... Can I-...” Alex slurred around John's fingers. He weighed his options. He wondered if begging to come would be considered swearing to Thomas. It wasn't _really_ a swear word but in context...

“Can you what?” Thomas' hips went still, seated deep in Alex. “What do you want? Are you being greedy again?” Alex shook his head and whimpered. “You want to come? Is that it?” He reached around and wrapped those obscenely long fingers around the base of Alexander's cock and squeezed. “You'll come when I say you can.” He growled out. “And you can bet your ass that I'm not letting you until I'm finished with you, do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” Alex panted, letting John's fingers fall from his mouth, a string of saliva still connecting them. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get greedy. I'm sorry sir..”

“Get his fingers back in your mouth boy.” Alex flinched. Thomas' voice was cold now.

 _'Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. You fucked it up. You were doing so good and you fucked it up.'_ He obeyed, letting John push his fingers past his lips again, moaning around them, trying his best to put Thomas in a good mood again.

“That's it.” He groaned. “This is the only way you can be happy isn't it? A cock in your ass and John's pretty fingers down your throat, hmm?” Alex bit down on John's fingers when Thomas smacked him again, muffling a yelp and holding back the string of swears that sat heavy on his tongue. “Answer me.”

“Yes sir!” He slurred, keeping John's fingers in his mouth this time. John had the fingers of his other hand tangled in his hair and he gave a small, reassuring tug. The blindfold was damp with his tears and now he was glad to have it. Thomas hated it when he cried.

“Fuck...” Thomas growled in his ear. Alex almost screamed when he pulled out but it came out as a whimper. “Hush.” Alex could hear the quick slide of Thomas' hand over his cock and his heavy breath before he felt the first warm spurt of come hit his back. He let out a broken sob. Thomas knew how much Alexander loved the feeling of having someone's come inside him and this was just one more way for him to punish him.

“Why did you have to do that?” John snapped. “Can't you be nice to him for one night?” He was moving to sit up, pulling his fingers away from Alexander's lips. “Just _once_ would it kill you to treat him like you treat me?” Alex tried to sit up, but with his hands still cuffed behind his back he couldn't get the right leverage.

“Excuse me?”

“I don't think I stuttered.” John spat at Thomas, his hands touching Alex's shoulders gently. “Why are you so mean to him?”

“John don't-” Alex flinched when he heard Thomas' hand make contact with John's cheek and the sharp gasp from John.

“Don't you take that tone with me Laurens.”

“I'm sorry sir...” He muttered. “It won't happen again...”

“You're damn right it won't.” Alex felt Thomas get up off the bed and heard the faint jingle of the handcuff keys being thrown at him and John. “I'll be back to get you tomorrow. Don't leave the room until I come back for you.” Alex didn't dare to move. He could hear Thomas getting dressed but other than the rustle of clothing and the pounding of his blood in his ears it was silent. “And don't you dare open that door for anyone but me.”

“Yes sir...” John and Alex muttered before the door slammed.

“Do you want to sit up?” John whispered, running his hand up and down Alex's arm gently. “Get out of these cuffs?” Alex shook his head.

“Not yet... I just... I need a minute...” His voice was shaking.

“Blindfold?” Another shake of the head. “Okay... I'm sorry Alex. I thought he was in a better mood. If I thought he would hit you I wouldn't have-”

“It's okay John. It's my fault. I'm the one that was acting up all day. Thomas is just trying to help. You know that.” John's fingers tightened their grip on his arm just a little.

 

Almost half an hour passed before Alex was ready to get up. He knew. He counted. John helped him sit on the edge of the bed and unlocked the cuffs before pulling the blindfold away from his eyes. Alex blinked slowly and stretched his arms up over his head, his back and shoulders popping.

“Are you okay?” John asked. Alex smiled over at him.

“I'm fine John. Don't you worry about me. Are _you_ okay?” He ran his hand over John's cheek, there was a faint red mark there and it broke his heart. “He never hits you like that...”

“I'm sure I'll live.” Alex leaned in to catch John's lips in a slow, gentle kiss.

“I love you, John...” He whispered, almost afraid that Thomas would come back in. The two of them were allowed to kiss, they were allowed to do just about whatever they wanted. They were with each other as much as they were with him.

“I love you too Alexander.” John moved to straddle Alex's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. “You're perfect. I don't care what Thomas says. You're perfect to me.”

“I'm no good John.” Alex shook his head. “Not like you. You know how to stay out of trouble. I'm always mouthing off...” John silenced him with another kiss.

“Don't worry about it. You're doing fine.” He smiled. “Do you want to get off? Thomas didn't let you...”

“That would be nice.” Alex tucked his face into John's neck and nibbled softly, tangling his fingers in his hair and gripping his hip tight with the other hand. “I've missed you.”

“I know. I missed you too.” John rolled his hips against Alex's slowly at first, moaning quietly in his ear, grinding down harder when Alex wrapped his arm around his lower back. “What do you want Alex?”

“This is fine. I just want you John. Just you...” He moaned, thrusting up against John.

 

They took their time, just grinding against each other, whispering and laughing quietly, hands grabbing at fist-fulls of hair, hips and shoulders, soft kisses pressed against smiling lips.

“John... I'm close.” Alex moaned, giving John's ear a little nip. “I'm so close.”

“Me too Alex. F-Fuck. Me too.”

“Don't leave.” Alex begged. “Please, John... Don't leave.”

“Shh... Don't worry. I'm not leaving you. I'm staying right here, okay?” John ran his fingers through Alex's hair and pulling him in for another kiss. “Come for me Alexander...” He whispered against his lips.

“Yes John.. For you. Anything for you.” Alex tightened his arms around John's waist and muffled his moan against his shoulder as he came between them, John's own release following soon after.

“Don't lay down yet.” John laughed, kissing Alexander's cheek when he laid back panting softly and smiling. “Let's get you cleaned up. Wanna take a bath with me?”

“Maybe in the morning, before Thomas comes to get us. I'll fall asleep in the tub.”

“Washcloth it is.” John smiled and went to the bathroom of their hotel room, grabbing a washcloth, wetting it with warm water, bringing it back to Alex and wiping it over his belly.

“I wonder what he's doing...” Alex mused, folding his hands behind his head while John cleaned himself up.

“Who, Thomas? He's probably working.”

“But why bring us to a hotel? He does this all the time and we just... Do it. Is he doing something at the house? Are there others?” He furrowed his brow.

“We're his boys Alex. I'm sure it's just business with Mr. Madison. Paper work for the club that he can't have us interrupting. I wouldn't worry about it too much.” John crawled up in bed, pressing up against Alexander's chest and kissing him. “Go to sleep dearest.”

“You too.” Alex gave John a little squeeze and kissed his freckles. “I love you John Laurens.” He smiled.

“I love you, Alexander Hamilton.”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it! Thanks for reading. This is just the calm before the storm. Don't expect fluffy endings all the time (sorry). Normally I'd have a longer note but it's five thirty in the morning and I don't have the brain function for that.
> 
> I'll see you in the next chapter in a couple days <3
> 
> As always, any comments, kudos and bookmarks will earn you my undying love. Also feel free to yell at/with me on Tumblr (same username)
> 
> ~Kay


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter two! I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. I've been trying to figure out how exactly I want to get from point A to point B. Thank you so much for all the messages you've sent encouraging me and asking for more. It means the world to me.  
> Now we get to meet Washington, Lafayette and Herc. Upstanding gentlemen if I do say so myself. Well. I mean. Considering the circumstances.
> 
> Enjoy!

XOXO

 

Divorce papers? Signed and finalized. His money? Half of it gone. His pride? Much less than intact. George Washington was a wreck of a man as he trudged into the first bar that he found. He thanked whatever god was laughing at him for at least giving him a break and letting it be one he knew already.

“Evening Mr. Washington.” The man at the door was the same one that had been there for the last three years. Hercules. A fitting name for the absolute giant of a man. He was built like an oak tree but beneath the scowl he wore when he was working, he was actually a sweet guy. George had spoken to him and one of the bartenders, Lafayette, quite a few times outside these walls. They'd even gone out to dinner once or twice.

“Evening.” He answered, his voice dull.

“So... Today was the day, yeah?” George nodded. “I'm sorry man. Hey, let Laf know I said to hook you up with drinks tonight. You deserve it.” Hercules clapped him on the shoulder.

“Thanks.” He tried to pull his lips up in a smile but it came out more like a grimace.

“No problem. Just keep an eye out for Mr. Jefferson. He was in a mood when he came in. His boys are terrified.” Hercules glared over George's shoulder into the crowded lounge.

“Boys? Don't tell me that maniac has kids.”

“Fuck, I wish. Maybe he wouldn't hang around here so much if he did. No, he managed to get two of the guys that work here on lock. Treats both of 'em like shit if you ask me. Lafayette's pissed too.”

“Which two?” George followed the bouncers gaze. He wondered if he'd ever interacted with them, if it was really as bad as Hercules said.

“I'm not at liberty to say it straight out, but just watch around for a little bit and I'm sure you'll figure it out.” Herc grumbled. “I don't think you're gonna like it.”

“Thanks for the warning. I'll keep an eye open.” George shook Hercules' hand before going in, making a bee-line for the bar. Lafayette was dazzling as always, making a show of pouring shot after shot and grinning from ear to ear.

“ _Monsieur Washington!_ ” He shouted over the noise and the heads of the patrons at the bar when he saw George, waving him over. “ _Bonjour mon ami._ ” He leaned over the counter to kiss both of his cheeks happily. “It's been a while. How have you been?”

“As well as a man can be in the middle of a divorce.” George shrugged. “The final papers were signed today.” Lafayette shook his head.

“Dreadful news my dear general. Simply dreadful. How can your Lafayette help?”

“Well I was promised drinks from one Mr. Mulligan by the door.”

“Oh _were_ you?” Lafayette shot a glare over at Hercules who just grinned back and waved. “These will be payed for by Mr. Mulligan then. I can't be giving you drinks for free. Not tonight. Mr. Jefferson has been... how would you say- _un putain de cul_ – a fucking ass, tonight.” He kept his voice low and leaned over the bar.

“I was warned.” George nodded. “Seems to be pretty common these days. What's his problem?” Lafayette shrugged.

“Beats me. Who knows what happens in that lunatics brain. Double shot of whiskey?”

“You know me so well.” After three years, it really wasn't that surprising that Lafayette would know his first choice of liquor. The night always started with two double whiskeys, maybe a third, a Jack and Coke, and if he was feeling particularly down, perhaps a martini to round out the night.

Drink in hand, George turned to find a place to sit- and ran straight into a young man coming from the other direction. He saw the fear in the boy's eyes when the drink splashed across the front of his shirt and jacket.

“Sir I am so sorry!” He shot out to grab the glass as it fell, slipping as he did. “Oh my god... Shit. Please don't tell Tho- Mr. Jefferson about this!” God he was beautiful. Dark hair that fell to his shoulders, sun-kissed skin and wide dark eyes that were currently full of tears.

“Hey! Hey don't worry about it.” George smiled down at him, putting his hands on his shoulders and guiding him back to the bar, where he handed the spilled glass to Lafayette.

“I'll make it up to you, sir. Please don't tell.”

“Calm down. I'm not going to tell him. It was my fault anyway. Are you okay?”

“Alexander!” The young man, Alexander apparently, jumped and looked up at George, holding a finger to his lips as he slipped away. Moments later Thomas Jefferson was striding over, scowling. “Lafayette. Have you seen Alex? He was supposed to be in my office ten minutes ago.”

“Sorry, boss. Haven't seen him since you showed up with him and John.” In the dim lights, George could just see a muscle in Lafayette's jaw twitching.

“Good evening Mr. Washington. Always a pleasure to see you. And how is your lovely wife?” Thomas sneered.

“No need for nastiness, _Thomas_.” He shot back. “For someone with two failed marriages under his belt, I thought you would be a little more sympathetic.” Lafayette laughed out loud and slapped a hand over his mouth when Thomas shot him a glare.

“Get back to work.” He snarled. “And send Alexander to me if you see him.”

“Oh, yes sir.” Lafayette's voice was scathing as he gave a sloppy half salute before turning back to the patrons at the bar. Thomas left without another word, back in the direction he had come from and George felt hands on his back.

“Thank you...” Slim arms were wrapping around his waist and a forehead pressed against his shoulders. “He's in a bad mood. It's no good to be around him when he's in a bad mood.”

“Ah, _mon petit lion_. Why don't you leave? He hurts you _mon amour_. You should not have to put up with that.”

“I just need to be more careful. That's all. He's making sure I do better. John takes care of me. And I've gotta take care of him.” George felt his blood boil and he turned to look down at Alex.

“You and John are Jefferson's boys? Is that what Mulligan was talking about?” He nodded, looking down at his feet.

“He takes care of us... He gives us everything we want. W-we have a roof over our heads and we have each other. I just need to learn to be better... He doesn't hit me unless I'm bad.” Lafayette and George gaped at him.

“ _Merde... Alexandre..._ You are not going home with him tonight. Do you understand me?” Lafayette reached across the bar and grabbed Alex's hand.

“Lafayette... _vous savez qu'il ne va pas me laisser aller avec vous..._ ”

“ _Ensuite vous ne serez pas rentrer_ _à_ _la maison avec moi_.” Lafayette looked over at George. “Take him home.”

“I'm sorry what?”

“Tonight, when you leave. Take him home with you.”

“I don't think that's- You're asking me to take home a boy I don't know, a boy that has apparently been _claimed_ by Thomas Fucking Jefferson. Laf you've had some crazy ideas but this really takes it. It really does. You're insane.” He shook his head. “Holy shit.”

“He would probably let you. For the right price...” Alex muttered.

“ _Es-tu s_ _é_ _rieux_? I-I was kidding. Almost. I was just thinking he could sneak you out the back and run with you!” Lafayette sputtered. “Has he done this before?” Alex shrugged. “ _Alexandre!_ ”

“Only a couple of times!” He snapped. “Look Lafayette, it's no big deal. I've gotta go... John's probably looking for me. I'll see you around Mr. Washington.” Alex turned on his heel and stormed off.

“You have to help him George. You see how afraid he is, don't you?” Lafayette's face crumbled, watching Alex walking away. “He will not listen to me.”

“How long has this been going on?” Lafayette shrugged and watched Alex slink through the crowd, offering up smiles and sometimes darting over to the other bar and returning to someone, drink in hand. “This is ridiculous. How did this happen?”

“Thomas is very charming.” The bartender rolled his eyes and made George another drink. “I was serious before. You need to take him home. At least sneak him out or something. I'm sick of seeing him cower... You never saw him before all this mess. He's ridiculously smart, he interned at the White House for fucks sake!”

“Did he?” George watched him with renewed interest.

“He was an impressive young man and Thomas ruined him.” Lafayette's fury was palpable. “Go ahead and have your drink. I have to get back to work...” He turned his back and started grabbing bottles, his smile looking more forced than it had been before.

George made his way to a table, nursing his whiskey and turning his eyes to one of the TVs. He didn't really have much interest in sports but right now there was nothing he would rather watch than the Detroit Red Wings kicking the absolute shit out of the Pittsburgh Penguins. This was a perfect way to not think. He didn't want to think about his now ex-wife, he didn't want to think about the crazy world that belonged to Thomas Jefferson, Alexander and John. He just wanted to watch some guy named “Datsyuk” pummel another guy named “Crosby” into the boards and drink his whiskey. He was just about to get up for another when the empty glass was slid out of his hand.

“I- Oh hello again.” He tried to smile at Alex.

“Would you like another?”

“Please.” Alex was gone before he could say anything else and when he returned with the new drink, he didn't give George a chance to say anything before he was off again. George watched him over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of Lafayette shaking his head before other patrons in the bar started yelling. Some were cheers of joy, others were shouts of outrage. The Wings had scored and George didn't care at all.

 

…

 

Alex tried his best to stay hidden as long as he could. Thomas had been in a sour mood when he had picked him and John up from the hotel that morning and the fresh bruise from where he had been grabbed on his arm was throbbing. He knew he was making things worse for himself later but he couldn't stop thinking about what Lafayette had said when he suggested that Mr. Washington take him home. He couldn't stop thinking about the shock and rage on both of their faces when he casually mentioned that Thomas would be okay with letting him go for a price. He wasn't exactly lying, Thomas had 'loaned' him to friends before, he just wasn't sure if he would let him go with Mr. Washington. He froze when a hand landed across the back of his neck.

“There you are.” Thomas growled in his ear. “What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing? I thought I told you to stay in my office tonight.”

“I-I'm sorry. I was just trying to help.” He stammered out, shrinking away from the other man. “I-It's busy and I just thought-”

“No. You _didn't_ think. When I tell you to do something. You do it. Do you understand me?”

“Yes sir...” Alex looked down at his feet.

“Who were you talking to?” Thomas demanded. His hand tightening when Alex didn't answer him. “Alexander.”

“Mr. Washington. I-I just got him another whiskey. His glass was empty. I swear Thomas that's all I did.” He rushed his words, squirming. Thomas let go of his neck and crossed the crowded room in a few easy strides, pulling out the chair on the opposite side of George's table and sitting down. He looked calm but Alex knew it was an act. He jumped when a gentler hand grabbed his.

“Alex, what's happening?” John leaned in to kiss Alex's cheek. “Alex?” He wiped away a tear that Alex hadn't noticed until then.

“I fucked up John.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I was talking to Mr. Washington and he caught me...”

“Oh Alex... Baby you didn't do anything wrong.”

“Yes I did John!” Alex fought to keep his voice from raising with his fear, his eyes wide. “John he's going to be so mad at me.”

“Look.” John turned his head so he could see Thomas and George. “Look. They're laughing. Talking about hockey probably. Everything is going to be fine, okay?”

“No... Look at him. Watch him. Look at his hands. Look at his shoulders. He's furious. At _me_. He's going to hit me.” Alex was shaking so hard that John had to pull him up against his chest. “He's going to hit me... And I deserve it...”

“I won't let him hurt you. I promise.” Alex stiffened when Thomas stood up again and George looked over at the pair of them, looking thoughtful. A few more words were exchanged and the two men shook hands. “What is he doing?”

“Alexander! Come over here!” Alex tried to move behind John but he was given a little push in Thomas' direction.

“You'll be fine.” He whispered, smiling.

“Come with me.” He begged, clinging to John's hand.

“ _Now_ Alexander!” Thomas snapped. Alex dropped John's hand and hurried over, trying to wipe the tears from his face. Thomas hated it when he cried.

“Yes s- Thomas?” He tried to smile.

“Mr. Washington tells me you've been extra attentive tonight.” Thomas' voice was honey and his touch was soft enough for Alex to lean into it and forget the bruises on his arms and hips. “That's very nice of you Alexander. I'm proud of you.” Alex stood up straighter.

“Really?”

“Of course. You know it makes me happy when you boys do well.” Thomas was smiling. He hardly ever smiled like that and Alex drank up the positive attention. He loved praise and Thomas' was hard to earn. But when he did earn it, he got rewarded too. He liked being rewarded for his efforts.

“Thank you.” He smiled up at Thomas then over at Mr. Washington.

“Would you like to spend the night with him?” Thomas leaned into his ear, whispering. This was a test. He was challenging Alex but he couldn't figure out which way he was supposed to go. If he answered wrong, he would be punished. Was he supposed to say yes? Thomas was waiting. Was he supposed to say no? Thomas was watching him carefully, eyes narrowed. George was watching them expectantly. Thomas was waiting. He felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. “Come on now. Answer me.”

“Y-Yes?” He answered hesitantly, holding his breath. The world had stopped spinning.

' _No no no no no no no_!' He was screaming at himself, waiting for the fallout. He had answered wrong. Thomas never stayed silent this long if he had answered a question correctly. He flinched visibly when Thomas raised a hand but relaxed when the side of his face was stroked tenderly.

“Good boy. Now get John and come back to my office.” Thomas nudged him off and turned to George. “All yours Mr. Washington.” He sneered. “I'll bring him back out to you in a little while. Go have Lafayette make you another drink.” George stood and shook Thomas' hand.

“I'll see you soon, Alexander.” He made his way back to the bar and Alex caught a glimpse of Lafayette looking over at him, shocked, before he went to get John.

“He wants us in his office.” He whispered.

“What's going on?” John held his hand tight.

“I think he's sending me home with Mr. Washington...”

“What!?” John looked almost outraged. “What the fuck. He said he wasn't going to do that shit to you anymore.” He hissed out between his teeth as they made their way to the back of the bar where Thomas' office was. “He _promised_ Alexander. Don't let him do this. You're _ours_ remember? You're _mine_!” He whined. “It's hard enough watching Thomas fuck you... I don't want to think about anyone else fucking you...”

“John, there's nothing I can do about it... Besides. Maybe nothing will happen. I mentioned that Thomas had done this before when I was talking to him and Laf and he looked pissed. I'll probably just go over there and sleep.”

“There you boys are.” Thomas was standing outside his office door with his arms crossed and a sickeningly sweet smile. “Come in. We need to talk.” Alex and John exchanged a look and stepped in, the door clicking shut and locking behind them. “You ungrateful _slut_.” He spat, grabbing Alex by the throat and slamming him up against the wall. “Can't be satisfied with me _and_ John can you? Do I not give you enough? Do I not do _everything_ for you?” He pushed harder against his windpipe.

“T-Thomas!” Alex gasped out, trying to pull in a breath.

“Thomas let him go!” John demanded, pushing his way between them. Thomas let Alex fall to the floor before grabbing John by the hair and pulling him over to the other side of the room.

“Sit.” He ordered, pushing him into a chair. “Alexander. Up.” Alex's knees shook as he stood and walked over to them. “If you act like a slut, you're going to get treated like one. Pants off now.”

“He didn't do anything!” John protested.

“You're on thin ice John.” Thomas snapped, yanking Alex's pants down over his ass and flicking open the button on his own, and pulling his belt from the loops. “Now. You. You're going to be a good boy for me and when _Mr. Washington_ is bending you over I want you to remember who you _belong_ to.” He put the belt around Alex's neck and pulled it tight, choking him. “Do you understand me?”

“Y-yes sir-” He gasped when he was shoved down, bent over the desk at an angle that made the edge of the dark wood dig into his hip bones.

 

Thomas didn't waste time prepping him, just licking the palm of his hand and slicking his cock a little before pressing in hard. Alex bit his lip hard enough to draw blood to hold in a scream. He wasn't allowed to be loud when he was in Thomas' office. He could feel tears on his cheeks and cursed to himself. Thomas hated it when he cried...

“Tom! Leave him alone!” John cried, pleading. “You're hurting him!” Thomas paused, seated deep inside Alex and shot John a look that would make a lesser man run, but John stood his ground.

“Come here.” He ordered, pulling out. Alex sobbed and fell against the desk when the pressure on his throat let up. “You don't want me to hurt him? Then _you_ fuck him.” John froze and looked down at Alex, his mouth open to say something. “No? Then shut your fucking mouth and sit back down.” He pushed back in and this time Alex screamed, earning a slap to the side of his face. “What have I told you about that?” He growled in his ear, leaning over him and pinning him more fully to the desk.

“I-I'm sorry!” He sobbed, a bit of blood dripping from his lip onto the desk.

“You're damn right you are.”

 

For what little comfort it was worth to Alex, Thomas didn't last as long as he thought he would, coming deep inside him after a few minutes of fucking him hard, gripping his hip hard enough to leave more bruises along with the straight sharp bruises on his hip bones from the edge of the desk. John looked down the whole time. Tying to block out the sounds of skin hitting skin and Alexander's broken sobbing. After he had pulled out, Thomas pulled Alex's jeans back over his hips and took his belt from around his neck, doing up his own pants and threading the leather back through the loops.

“I do this for your own good. Always remember that Alexander.” He muttered, helping him stand on shaky legs.

“I know...” Alex kept his eyes locked on the floor. Thomas wiped the blood from his lip and the tears off his cheeks with gentle fingers and tilted his chin up so he would look him in the eye.

“I do love you Alex. You just need to behave baby.” He leaned in and kissed him softly. Chaistly. “You're so pretty. John come over here.” He cooed. John hurried to obey, pressing up against Alex's side, wrapping an arm around him and kissing his cheek gently. “You boys mean the world to me. I'm sorry I have to be so harsh with you... I just want what's best for you. I want to keep you out of trouble okay?”

“I know...” Alex leaned his forehead against Thomas' shoulder.

“It's okay.” John kissed Thomas' cheek, he was shaking with rage but Alex knew he was looking out for him. They had to be good. They had to be perfect for him.

“Now Alex. You're going home with Mr. Washington. And I want you to listen to him the way you listen to me okay baby?”

“I will Tom. I promise. I'll be good.”

“I know you will.” Thomas smiled and kissed his forehead. “Come on.” He made for the door and John took Alex's hand as they followed him out of the office, Alex with a noticeable limp.

“Be careful...” John whispered, kissing him behind Thomas' back. “Come home to me...”

“Mr. Washington isn't like that John. He won't hurt me. I'll be careful though.” He added when he saw the look John was giving him. “I'll always come home to you.”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think that was all over the place, but hey, it's taken me more than a month to get this out. Sorry. Next chapter hopefully wont take this long. I usually write when I'm at work (bc there's so much free time) but it's a little hard to write stuff like this sooooo I've been focusing more on the stories for “A Little Unconventional” and cute little oneshots.  
> Oh, also. Go Red Wings. I'm sorry. I had to put that in there. Sorry to any Penguins fans out there.
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with me and reading this horrible, fucked up fic. Kudos, comments and bookmarks mean the world to me so please, please, please leave those and I'll see you in the next chapter!  
> Translations:  
> vous savez qu'il ne va pas me laisser aller avec vous... == You know he won't me go with you...  
> Ensuite vous ne serez pas rentrer à la maison avec moi == Then you won't go home with me.  
> Es-tu sérieux == Are you serious
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex 
> 
> p.s. as always, please excuse any errors. I don't typically have anyone proofread for me and I can't always catch them on my own.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay, yo yo, yo yo, yo! What time is it! Time for me to go the fuck to sleep because I stayed up until 8am to finish this chapter after getting out of work at 11 :') I am suffering.
> 
> I'm back a little (a lot) sooner than I was last time. So sorry about that again. This is gonna be a little easier to swallow than the last chapter so enjoy the calm before the storm folks.

XOXO

 

Alex had to make a conscious effort to not limp when he left Thomas' office, John helping him wipe the blood and tears off of his face with sure, gentle hands. John took care of him. John would _always_ take care of him. No matter how bad Thomas got, John and Alex would have each other.

“Remember what I told you baby doll.” Thomas had his arm around Alex's waist. He was much calmer now. “I want you to listen to Mr. Washington the same way you listen to me, okay? You can do that for me can't you?”

“Of course, Tom. Anything for you.” Alex knew he was pushing his luck by not calling him 'Thomas', something he had always insisted upon, but the sour mood from the office had lifted and he was willing to take a chance. Sometimes he found it endearing. Today must have been one of those days, because he got a kiss on the top of his head and was pulled in closer to Thomas' side.

“I knew you could be good doll.” He smiled, making his way towards the bar where George was talking with Lafayette, gripping his whiskey tight in one hand. “George!” He called. “As promised, here he is.” He grinned, giving Alex a little push forward.

“You're in good spirits this evening Thomas.” Lafayette quirked an eyebrow at him, his accent laying heavily on his name. “Much better than earlier.” He noted. Alex saw Thomas' jaw twitch but he didn't say anything. Instead he took a step towards George, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Be careful with him.” He warned in a low voice. “I don't want my favorite toy to come back to me broken. And don't you dare leave a single mark on him. I assure you, I _will_ see it.”

“Wouldn't dream of it Thomas.” George's tone was calm but there was power and authority behind it and Alex couldn't help the shiver that crept down his spine. He felt John squeeze his hand and he squeezed back twice. The had their own little language between the two of them, touches and glances that they could read with out arousing too much suspicion from Thomas.

“Very good. Alex, say goodbye to John.” Thomas prompted.

“Oh there's no rush.” George put in. “I'm pretty invested in the game now.” He tipped his glass at the TV.

“I've got some paper work I want John to look over with me and I want to get that out of the way before we close tonight. So say goodbye boys.”

“ _Faites attention, mon amour._..” John whispered, pulling Alex into a tight hug.

“ _Ne vous inqui_ _é_ _tz pas pour moi._ ” He smiled back. “ _Ne rien faire pour lui faire fou_...”

“ _Je ne serais pas en r_ _ê_ _ver_.” John kissed Alexander soundly, careful of his split lip. “ _Je t'amie_.”

“ _Je t'amie aussi_ John.” He turned to Thomas, looking up at him hopefully. Thomas' long fingers tangled in his hair and he pulled him into a kiss that was almost too gentle but Alex would take all the affection he could get. “ _Je t'amie Thomas._ ” He whispered. And he meant it.

“I know doll. I love you too.” Thomas guided Alex to stand next to George and Alex had to look down when he saw the way John was looking at them. A mix of sadness and a kind of excitement he hadn't seen in his eyes in a long time. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror behind the bar and understood. Despite his best efforts to clean up before leaving the office, he still looked like a mess and with Washington behind him, a hand on his shoulder, he looked small. He knew John was imagining George pinning him down, wishing he could be a part of it. Maybe next time. There would probably be pictures, too. Thomas always wanted pictures. Proof that Alexander was being good.

“Have a good night, Thomas.” George's hand tightened on his shoulder when he spoke.

“You too, George.” Thomas' lip curled up in a knowing smirk. “Just remember what I said.” He warned again before grabbing John's arm and leading him back to the office. John looked over his shoulder and mouthed 'I love you' to Alex, who returned the gesture before they turned the corner.

“What did he do to you!?” Lafayette all but jumped over the bar to pull Alex closer and look at his split lip. “ _Alexandre..._ this is too much...”

“He didn't do anything Lafayette.” Alex ducked away from his friend's worried hands. “I bit my lip. I'm fine.”

“I don't believe you.” Lafayette scoffed.

“Thomas wouldn't do this to me!” Alex shot back.

' _He never leaves marks where people can see them..._ ' He thought. ' _He says I'm too pretty for that._ '

“You know, he's not as bad as you try to make him seem Lafayette. He's sweet to us and gives us anything and everything we need.” He could see Lafayette's jaw working, clenching and unclenching like he wanted to say something else, but he held his tongue.

“Do you drink, Alexander?” George asked, cutting through the tension.

“A little, sir.” Alex could go from bitter to sugar sweet at the drop of a hat. It was a talent he had discovered while he was working in D.C. and had perfected in his time with Thomas.

“No need for that. It's George. Lafayette, add his drink to my tab.”

“You mean _Mr. Mulligan's_ tab.” Lafayette teased. George shrugged.

“Same thing.” While they waited for the drink, something sweet -with a little bit of cinnamon at Alex's request, Alex looked George over slowly, taking mental notes about him and he could feel the other man doing the same to him.

“Enjoy.” Lafayette slid the drink down the bar into Alex's waiting hand. He took a tentative sip, wincing a little when the alcohol touched the cut on his lip. “Good?”

“Very good. Perfect as always, Lafayette.” Alex leaned over the bar to kiss both of his cheeks.

“Come. Sit with me for a little bit.” George put a hand on his waist, leading him to a quiet corner booth and sliding in. “Alexander what is this?” He asked, his brow furrowed.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what is Thomas doing? Letting you, his boyfriend, come home with me for a night?”

“It's exactly that. I told you. I'm free game. For a price.”

“And what about John?” Alex tried to ignore the stab of jealousy that he felt in his stomach.

“Would you rather have him?” He snapped. “I can go get him.” He made a move to stand but George grabbed his wrist.

“It's not like that. I'm just trying to figure this all out. Please sit.”

“Good luck prying John away from Thomas. It would cost you more than money.” He warned. “If you, or anyone else for that matter, wanted him, you would probably have to have both of us. That's how it works.”

“But he lets you go for two hundred bucks and a handshake?”

“John's his favorite.” Alex shrugged. “He was here first and he's good. He doesn't misbehave.”

“You two aren't children Alexander, why do you say it like that?”

“Because that's what it is. Thomas expects John and I to act a certain way, and when we don't meet his expectations, or don't do as he says, we're misbehaving.” Alex explained casually. This was what he was accustomed to. It wasn't strange at all to him. But the looks on everyone else's faces told him a different story.

“Does he hit you?”

“Only when I'm bad. I mouth off a lot. He's trying to break me of that habit.” George was gaping at him but he continued. “He does it because he cares. He's trying to help. He loves me.” He defended.

“Alex... You don't hit the people you love... That's not love... That's abuse.”

“It's how he shows he cares!” Alex snapped. “If you're just going to lecture me all night, I'm leaving.”

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please stay.” George held his hand, his fingers gentle. “Tell me about yourself.” He smiled, trying to change the subject.

“Not much to tell really.” Alex sat down again, a little closer this time.

“Now that's not true. Lafayette tells me you interned at the White House.” Alex ducked his head, blushing.

“I worked in communications for two and a half years. Came back here when I heard my _abuela_ was sick. I mean, she's not _really_ my _abuela_ but she practically raised me up in Washington Heights. _Familia por un enlace,_ _¿_ _Sabes?_ ”

“Where are you from?”

“St. Croix. Nevis. Moved to the Heights when I was about fourteen.”

“Where did you learn to speak French then?”

“Here and there.” He shrugged. “I grew up speaking English and Spanish so learning wasn't that hard. And it came in handy in D.C.”

“That's impressive.” George sipped his whiskey and Alex hid behind his glass.

“It's not a big deal...” He muttered, turning to watch the hockey game. The Wings were up 4-0 now. He didn't really care but feigning interest was easier than answering questions.

They made small talk until the game was over and their drinks were gone. Alex had been watching the hall that led to the offices intently most of the time and was trying not to panic. Thomas had come out some time ago but there was no sign of John. He had to remind himself that it didn't mean anything and that John was fine. He probably _was_ helping with paperwork. He was an accountant after all. Or, he _had been_ before he started seeing Thomas. Mr. Washington would like John. He was smart as hell and he was beyond gorgeous. From what Alex had gathered, that was his type.

He froze when Thomas locked eyes with him from the bar and unconsciously reached for George's hand. Normally John would be there when he got a look like that and he was reaching out for comfort, reassurance that he was going to be okay and that he hadn't done anything wrong.

“Alex?” George squeezed his hand a little. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Do you want to leave? It's getting a little too crowded for me in here.” He leaned up against his shoulder, taking his eyes off of Thomas.

“If you'd like.” George stood and offered a hand to help Alex out of the booth. Alex made sure to stay close to the wall, wanting to avoid Thomas and hoping George didn't notice, tucking up against his side when they got to the door.

“Leaving so soon Mr. Washington?” Hercules gave him a curious look.

“It's been a long day.”

“Who's that with you?” Alex cursed to himself. Nothing got past Hercules “Eagle Eyes” Mulligan.

“Hey.” He waved. “I'll see you tomorrow Herc.”

“What are you-?” Alex silenced him with a quick look and he frowned, glancing at George who mouthed 'text me', then nodded. “Well have a good night then.” He held the door open and once they were out of sight, turned to look at Lafayette over his shoulder. He looked close to miserable but just shook his head and shrugged before going back to his work.

 

…

 

Alex pulled his jacket tighter around his shoulders to fight off the cold.

“Where are you parked?” He asked, his teeth chattering.

“A few blocks away at my lawyer's office. I walked here after I signed the divorce papers.”

“You're insane.” George laughed and pulled his own coat off, draping it over Alex's shoulders.

“Better?” He asked, tucking him in tight against his side. Alex smiled and tucked his head in against his shoulder.

“Yeah. Thank you.”

They didn't talk much as they walked but he didn't mind the silence after the loudness of the lounge. It was nice. And with George's coat and arm wrapped around him, he felt safe. When they got to the car, George opened the door for him before getting in on his side.

“Are you hungry?” He asked, starting the car and pulling away from the curb.

“A bit.”

“Do you want to stop somewhere?”

“I could really go for a burger and some fries. And a milkshake.” He grinned. “Like, McDonald's sounds like the best thing in the whole world right now.”

“McDonald's it is.”

During the drive Alex relaxed a bit, asking more questions and hanging on every word when George answered. He got more talkative, giving his political and social opinions freely, talking with his hands more and more the farther they got from the lounge.

“I can see why you picked communications at the White House.” George laughed. Alex decided that he liked his laugh. It was deep and when he smiled the corners of his eyes crinkled a little. “Why didn't you go back?” Alex bit at a hangnail on his thumb before answering.

“After the funeral and medical bills I was pretty broke so I took a couple odd jobs to start rebuilding my bank account, then I met John and Thomas and well, here I am.”

“Do you ever want to go back?”

“Yeah, of course. I loved my job, most of the people I worked with were pretty amazing too. There was this bunch of sisters, the Schuyler sisters, beautiful, _beautiful_ , women. All three of them. Angelica, Eliza and Peggy.” He smiled fondly. “We kinda fell out of touch but I still love them like they're my own sisters.” George watched him curiously, remembering what Lafayette had said about Thomas ruining him, and he could see it. Alex was a totally different person when Thomas wasn't looming over his shoulder. He wasn't as soft spoken and his wit was razor sharp. He was beautiful without that cloud hovering over his head constantly.

George ordered for the both of them at McDonald's and Alex grinned ear to ear when he was handed a large chocolate shake.

“Oh my god.” He moaned, tipping his head back. “This is heaven.”

“When was the last time you had fast food?” George laughed as Alex tore into his first burger.

“It's been months.” He answered covering his mouth. “We usually have good home cooked meals at Thomas' or we go out. But always to nicer places. Don't get me wrong- it's great, but sometimes I just want the worst food in the world.”

Alex didn't talk much the rest of the way to George's place, but offered a few comments about how nice the neighborhood was and almost choked on his shake when they pulled up a long driveway.

“Holy shit.” He stared up at the house with his mouth open. “Pardon my language but holy _shit_!”

“One of the few things I get to keep.” George smiled proudly. “This house has been in my family for generations.”

“It's incredible.” Alex breathed, looking around while George unlocked the front door.

“I'm glad you like it.” He led Alex inside and over to the living room, inviting him to sit and offering him another drink, which was accepted quickly.

“Christ. This living room alone is bigger than my whole apartment back in D.C.” He marveled. “This is ridiculous. Nice. But ridiculous.” George sat down next to Alex, close enough that their shoulders were brushing. Here, in the light, George could see a bruise forming around Alex's throat, two parallel lines that wrapped all the way around. Alex jumped when fingers brushed over his skin and he wrapped a protective hand over his throat, fear in his eyes.

“I'm sorry.” George pulled his hand away.

“It's fine. You just startled me.” Alex leaned against him and was relieved when he didn't ask any questions about the bruises and instead started running his fingers through his hair. “This is nice.” He hummed. His heart twisted a little and he wished that John was with him.

“This is what you deserve...” George whispered. “You're too good for Thomas Jefferson.” He kissed Alex's cheek, then the side of his neck, wrapping his arm around him, his hand splaying out over his chest. Alex leaned into the touch, his head falling back against his shoulder, moaning a little when his hand trailed down his stomach. His hands were big, like the rest of him, and Alex felt small next to him, but he liked it. George felt sturdy under him and that comfort was making his heart race. “You're beautiful.” George pressed an open mouthed kiss to the side of his neck, biting a little but not hard enough to leave a mark. It was more of a press of teeth against skin than an actual bite.

“Sir...” Alex moaned, squirming a little.

“Shh... Relax.” George undid his pants with one hand and pulled his cock out, stroking him gently.

“Mr. Washington...” He gasped, arching into the touch. He bit his lip to hold back a moan and winced when his teeth met the broken skin.

“Go ahead and moan for me honey.” George encouraged him. “I want to hear you and all the pretty sounds you make.” Alex blushed and tucked his chin against his chest, whimpering and squirming in Washington's hold. “Are you alright?” His hands were gentle against Alex's chest and his voice was soft in his ear. He couldn't remember the last time Thomas was so sweet and attentive with him and the seed of doubt he had always harbored in his chest, despite all of his insistence that Thomas loved him and John started to crack.

“I'm fine.” His voice cracked when he whispered back. The hand that had been stroking him stilled and moved back up his stomach, pulling him in tight.

“You don't have to.” George assured him. “I'll stop, we can watch TV, and I can make up one of the guest rooms for you.”

“Please don't stop.” Alex turned to straddle his lap and kissed him, and god if that wasn't the most amazing thing in the world. Washington kissed slow and deep. He was a man that knew exactly what he wanted but wasn't in a hurry to get it. With Thomas it was almost always an immediate clash, he was always in a rush to chase his own pleasure, without much of a thought to John or Alex.

That seed of doubt started to sprout little tendrils when George lifted him off of his lap a little to pull him in closer, sliding his jeans down over his hips and helping him out of his shirt. Alex shifted so that he could pull his shirt off the rest of the way but froze when he saw the way George was looking at him.

“What?” He didn't answer but sure, steady fingers roamed his chest, stomach and hips slowly, cataloging every bruise they found. “George?” He prompted.

“Hold on...” George ran his hands down Alex's sides and let his thumbs trace over the sharp, straight bruises on his hipbones from being pressed against Thomas' desk. He cupped Alex's face with one hand and touched the parallel lines bruising his throat. “My god...” There were so many more, all cleverly placed where a t-shirt and jeans would cover them easily. “Are you alright?”

“Are _you_ alright? You look like you've seen a ghost. They're just bruises George... It's no big deal.” Alex leaned back down to kiss him again. “I'm fine. Don't stop. Don't think about it. Don't worry about hurting me. Do anything you want but please... don't stop.”

“Alexander...” George stood a little and turned to press Alex down onto the couch on his back and pulled his jeans all the way off.

“You aren't playing fair.” Alex reached up to undo the buttons of George's shirt, sliding it off his shoulders and letting his fingertips trail down to the button of his slacks, popping it open with practiced ease and pulling his cock out, leaning forward before he could protest to take it into his mouth and groaning when George tangled his fingers in his hair and tugged.

“Shit!” He hissed when he dipped down further, taking in more and moaning. “Alex-”

“Yes?”

“Warn a man before you do that. Goddamn...” George breathed out, chuckling. Alex laughed and laid back against the arm of the couch again.

“Do you want me to?” He asked, stretching his arms up over his head, his shoulders popping. “I won't if you don't want me to, but if you _do_. Well, I've never heard any complaints.” He grinned.

“I'm sure you haven't.” George's thumb traced his lower lip, over the cut from where he had bitten it earlier. “I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.” Alex rolled his eyes and nipped at his thumb.

“Stop. It's fine. Just a tiny little cut.”

“Well it might split more with your lips stretched over my cock.” Those words sent a shiver down Alexander's spine. And the tendrils of doubt stretched out more. If _Thomas_ had said something like that to him he would have been paralyzed. But from _George_ , who was easily twice the size of Thomas, who could very easily hurt him, but was being so careful with him, the words were just play. It was teasing. It felt like being with John. They had an easy banter in and out of the bedroom. The doubt was spreading. What if George was right?

' _No._ ' He scolded himself. ' _No. Thomas and John are different but they love me. John loves me. Thomas loves me. He protects me. He gives me everything._ ' George kissed him again and covered his body with his own and his heart almost stopped.

“I-”

“One word and I'll stop.” Alex's back arched and he gasped when two fingers pressed against his ass and George practically _growled_ in his ear when they slid in without much resistance.

“Don't.” He demanded, propping his knee up against Washington's hip.

The slow stretch of fingers was enough to drive Alex insane. It was too much but not enough at the same time. He wasn't even sure when George had grabbed lube -was it already down here or had he just been too blissed out to notice him leaving to get it?- but he couldn't bring himself to wonder too long when it wasn't George's fingers pressed against his ass anymore.

“Are you-”

“I swear to god if you ask me again if I'm okay I'm going to bed.” Alex snapped.

“I'm just making sure.” George chuckled, pushing all the way in with one stroke, and fuck if that wasn't enough to make Alex lose his mind. He was bigger than John or Thomas and filled him up in a way that he never could have dreamed of.

“Oh my _god_.” He gasped, his nails digging into Washington's shoulders.

“Is that a good 'oh my god'?” He teased, pulling out a little before rolling his hips forward again.

“ _Shit_! Yes!” Alex clenched his teeth around the moan that was trying to tear it's way out of his throat. “So fucking good.” He thought he heard George mutter something about 'language' but brushed it off, moaning against his neck and holding on to his shoulders tight while he fucked him.

The handle of the front door jiggled, then there was a knock and a woman's voice calling from outside.

“George? Are you here?”

“Shit!” George pulled out, Alexander whimpering at the loss, and rebuttoned his pants quickly and pulling his undershirt back on. “Alex get dressed. Please.”

“Who is that?” He gasped out, not understanding where the flare of jealousy that burned in his stomach had come from. George was just some guy that came to the lounge that his boyfriend owned. That had paid his boyfriend to have sex with him for a night. He shouldn't be feeling anything, let alone jealousy.

“My ex-wife. Please, just at least put your jeans and my shirt on. Meet me upstairs. I don't know what she wants but-”

“I get it.” He snatched his jeans off the floor and yanked them up, pulling George's button down on, leaving it open while he grabbed his own shirt from the back of the couch. “You don't want your ex that you just signed papers on today to see you fucking the pool boy. Well. Lounge singer. But you get what I'm saying. I'll hide out in the bathroom.”

“Up the stairs, third door to the right.” George instructed, leaning over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“See you in a bit.”

 

Alex waited patiently perched on the marble counter top in George's bathroom, scrolling through Facebook on his phone and keeping one ear on the conversation at the bottom of the stairs. It wasn't hard. The volume had increased steadily over the last few minutes and he could hear most of what was being said if he left the door cracked. And Alex was nothing if not nosy. It was mostly about money. Martha -he had learned her name pretty quickly- seemed to think George was holding out on her, that he had some secret bank account or something. George denied it, of course. Alex had to give him credit though, for as loud as Martha was getting, he kept cool, answering her in the same low tone he always used, his voice only raising to talk over her when she was getting out of hand.

“I have company.” George finally snapped. “And I'd appreciate it if you showed yourself out of my house.” Alex laugh came out unchecked and he slapped a hand over his mouth to cover it when he heard Martha yell something before the front door slammed. Now he laughed, hard enough that his sides hurt from it. And that's how George found him, still sitting on the counter, doubled over laughing.

“Are you breathing?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Alex shook his head, gasping.

“Oh my _god_. What _was_ that?!”

“I'd rather not get into it again if it's all the same.” George helped Alex stand and smiled at him. “You look nice when you laugh.” He tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.

“Thank you.” Alex smiled back. “Well now that the mood has been killed, and thoroughly cooked on an open flame, I think you mentioned TV earlier? I think I'd like that.”

“Anything for you.”

 

George was regretting his words about a couple hours later when Alexander had fallen asleep with his head in his lap while watching reruns of The Office. He didn't want to move and wake him, if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication, the boy needed the sleep. But he didn't want to spend the night in the living room, sleeping sitting up on his couch. It was bad for his back.

“Alex.” He shook his shoulder gently. “Alexander, wake up.” He grumbled and kept his eyes closed. “Just for a minute. I'm going to put you in a real bed.”

“'m fine here...” He muttered. George sighed and picked his head up off of his lap so he could stand up.

“Come on.” He hoisted Alex up into his arms. “You need a bed.” He was easier to carry than George thought he would be. It had been easy to maneuver him around, sure, but carrying him as dead weight was a different story. He made his way to the master bedroom easily in the dark, after forty-some years of living in the same house he was pretty confidant that he could find his way around blindfolded. He laid Alex down and wiggled his jeans off then an old pair of his own sweatpants onto him before changing himself and climbing into bed, wrapping an arm around Alex's waist and pulling him in close to his chest. He had fallen asleep again between the living room and the bedroom and hadn't woken up while his clothes were changed. He really did need the sleep...

“Good night Alexander...”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops they weren't supposed to fuck. Like, at all. But I am a Sinner™ and can't be stopped.
> 
> Translations:  
> Faites attention == Be careful  
> Ne vous inquiéz pas pour moi == Don't worry about me  
> Ne rien faire pour lui faire fou == Don't don anything to make him mad  
> Je ne serais pas en rêver == I wouldn't dream of it
> 
> Familia por un enlace ¿Sabes? == Family by bond, you know?
> 
> As always please leave comments, kudos, and if you liked this go ahead and give it a bookmark to find out where it's headed (it'll be an adventure for all of us). All of your kind words mean the world to me.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex
> 
> p.s. Come find me on Tumblr and yell with me. Username is still KayKatastr0phe.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnd we're back! Really short chapter, but it's important. You're about to see another side of Thomas. Let me make it clear- John and Alex do see him through rose colored glasses and while sometimes they feel threatened, they think this is normal. He has done good things, but for the wrong reasons, making them bad things in the end. I'm saying this now because John's view of Thomas is MUCH more skewed than Alex's and you're about to find out why. So this may seem nice for a minute but lemme tell you it was stomach churning to write.  
> Enjoy responsibly.

XOXO

 

' _I love you_.' John mouthed over his shoulder at Alex as he followed Thomas back to his office. He wasn't exactly happy about leaving Alex with Mr. Washington but the way he was looking down at his boyfriend put John at ease. He would be in good hands.

“John, take a seat.” Thomas was locking the door to the office behind him and watching him carefully. “I think we need to have a talk.” He sat down, folding his hands in his lap.

“About what?”

“About Alex.” Thomas sat on the edge of his desk and John looked up sharply.

“What about Alex?” His palms started sweating and he tried his best to hold eye contact, but Thomas was an intimidating man.

“Do you want him to stay with us?” Thomas ran his hand down the side of John's face gently. “Or do you think it's time for him to go?” John fought to swallow the bile that had risen in his throat.

“Tom- What are you saying? Of course I want Alex to stay with us. I love him. W-why? Do you not love him anymore? Do _you_ want him to go?” He searched Thomas' eyes for any hint they would give, but he didn't give anything away.

“I love him very much. But he's uncooperative John. You must have noticed by now... I'm doing the best I can.” Thomas looked down, his brow pinched. “But he's still so... He's not _good_ John. Not like you.” He smiled and brought John in closer, their foreheads touching. “You're so sweet. So lovely.” He leaned in for a kiss. “I love you, John.”

“I love you too, Thomas.” John smiled a little. “Please don't make Alex leave. He's trying so hard for you. He just wants you to show him the same affection you show me. He really does love you.”

“For you, _mon chaton_ , anything.” Thomas pulled John up into his arms, kissing him slowly and swaying to the music that filtered in from the lounge. “When was the last time I told you how pretty you were?” He whispered, kissing his ear.

“This morning, I think.” John laughed a little, letting himself slip into the familiar comfort of Thomas' arms. He had been there after John came out to his father and these arms had held him through so many cold nights where he had nothing but the shirt on his back and a small plastic bag in his pocket. He never told Alexander about his real past, he would be crushed, instead he had fabricated a past that had once been his future. He had been cut off after coming out and was forced to drop out of college and without a degree the only accounting jobs he could get were book keeping gigs for sleazy clubs. Which was how he met Thomas.

“You're beautiful John.” Thomas' fingers brushed down his arms, the crook of his elbows and down to his wrists, skimming tiny scars and sending shivers down his spine before locking their fingers together and leaning into the crook of his neck. “You'll always be beautiful.” John wondered where this softness was coming from after how harsh he had been with Alex. But he wasn't going to ask about it. He was just going to enjoy it. His skin tingled where Thomas had touched him, and the scar on the side of his thumb ached from where it was rubbed over gently. So did the one just behind his ear. Thomas was touching him there on purpose. To remind him.

_'I saved you. Never again John. Not without me there to watch you.'_ He had said sometime in John's hazy past. _'Next time I'll help you. You'll get hurt if you do it yourself.'_ And he had held true to his word.

“John. What are you thinking about?”

“The night you found me out back.” John hummed, resting his head against Thomas' chest and squeezing his hands.

“You scared the hell out of me. I thought I'd lost you...” Thomas' voice cracked a little and John squeezed his hands tighter.

“That was the first night you told me you loved me.”

“And I asked you to move in with me.” Thomas twirled him once before pulling him back to his chest. Their slow sway didn't exactly fit with the beat but John couldn't find it in himself to care. “I promised I would always take care of you.”

“And you have.” John leaned back to look up into Thomas' eyes. “Tom I need-”

“I know _chaton_... I know. Come here.” Thomas backed up to sit on the love seat he had up against the wall and pulled John into his lap, gripping his hips tight and biting a small but dark mark into his collar bone. “What do you say?”

“ _S'il vous pla_ _î_ _t, Thomas._ Please.” He put has hands on Thomas' shoulders and leaned in to rest his forehead against his. “I've been good haven't I?”

“You've been very good John.” Thomas squeezed his ass, pulling him in closer and drawing out a moan. “And I'll give you what you want once I get what I want.” He worked John's jeans down over his hips.

“Anything, Thomas, you know I'll do anything for you.” When Alex wasn't around, John was less ashamed to beg. He knew it was selfish but he had his own way with Thomas and he wanted to keep it that way as much as he could. Alex and Thomas had a totally different dynamic, just like Alex and John had their own way when they were alone. John liked having his own time with Thomas. He _needed_ it. As much as he loved Alex, there were things Tom could give him that Alex never could. He couldn't know about these small secret meetings. There were so many things that he could never find out. He had come close before, but John had thrown him off easily. If he was honest with himself, it wasn't that hard, all Alex needed to be distracted was a good fuck and John would be damned if he ever denied him that.

“You know where it is.” Thomas pulled his hands from the back of John's pants and let him stand so he could go to the desk where he pulled open the bottom drawer. He pulled out a small wooden box but Thomas shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Just getting it out for you.” John leaned back into the drawer and came back with a bottle of lube, shimmying the rest of the way out of his pants and handing the bottle over to Thomas.

“How thoughtful.” He chuckled. “Unbutton your shirt for me too.” He licked his lips while John kicked his boxers to the other side of the room. John obliged, straddling his lap again and working the buttons on his shirt open from top to bottom, stopping about half way down.

“More?” He teased, earning a pinch to his thigh. He rolled his eyes and undid the last few buttons while his boyfriend watched. It was a bit of a power trip for him, to have Thomas pinned between his thighs, to have him staring at him like he was a god. And while he loved doing to the same thing to Alexander, it was much more satisfying to have Thomas under whatever spell this was. Thomas was larger than him, could easily overpower him, _had_ easily overpowered him in the past, could hurt him if he wanted to, but when he looked up at him like this, John knew that he would never _really_ hurt him. He looked at him and touched him in a way that seemed to border on worship, even when he grabbed tight to his hips and pulled him down to grind up against his ass.

“I should have you ride Alexander more often.” Thomas mused, uncapping the lube and graciously coating his fingers. “You would drive him crazy.” He pushed in two fingers in one long stroke and John fell forward against his chest moaning. “And you two already look so lovely together. Can you imagine the noises he would make? He would hold onto you tighter than I do.” Another finger and slow, deep thrusts. “He'd leave marks on your pretty hips.” John moaned when he dug his nails into his waist, holding him close and tight.

“Thomas-” John's hips lurched forward when Thomas crooked his fingers _just right_.

“Don't get too excited yet baby.” Thomas laughed, pulling his fingers out. John whined at the loss but then grabbed onto the top of the couch behind Thomas when he lined up his cock and lowered him down on it.

“ _Fuck_!” He hissed out, giving his hips an experimental little wiggle when he was seated fully on Thomas' lap. He hadn't ridden him in quite a while and had forgotten just how _full_ he felt when he did. “Tom...”

“Whenever you're ready baby. Take your time.” Thomas tapped his finger tips on John's hips and kissed his chest, giving him a few more small love bites. All of them would fade in a day or so but, like Alex, John treasured the marks, and would usually take pictures of them. It was even better when Thomas was feeling generous towards both of them, and he could take pictures of himself and Alex together. He always felt closer to them after nights like that.

He gave himself a couple of minutes to adjust and enjoy the light scrape of nails on his hips, and the softer drag of Thomas' lips and tongue across his chest and collar bones, before picking his hips up and rolling them back down, moaning and digging his nails deeper into the leather of the couch.

“That's it.” Thomas tipped his head back and groaned. He didn't move, just kept his hands on John's waist, tightening his grip now and then, but he mostly let John do the work. “Good boy. My John. _Mon chaton_.” He moaned. “So tight.” John bit his lip and pulled himself almost all the way off of Thomas' cock.

“More.” He begged, dipping down a little. “Please, Thomas, fuck me.”

“Can't do it yourself anymore?” Thomas teased. John's arms and thighs were shaking from the effort of holding himself up. “Come back down love.” He wrapped an arm around his waist, effectively pulling him back down onto his cock and pushed up deeper into him.

“There!” John gasped immediately, rolling his hips a little in time with Thomas' thrusts. “Right there, Thomas- please! Don't stop-”

“You know the rules John.” Thomas growled in his ear, giving it a nip and thrusting up harder. “If you come before me, you won't get it.”

“I know!” John sobbed, his face in the crook of his neck, nails digging into his back and shoulders now. “I know Tom, I know, but I can't-” He choked out. “I can't-”

“Yes you can. Come on baby. I know you can hold on. Not much longer.” And Thomas was true to his word, not even two minutes later pulling John somehow closer, his teeth set against his neck, coming into him and moaning small praises in his ear. “That's it... Fuck that's it. So good.”

“C-can I? Please?” John was still rolling his hips down, chasing his own release.

“You can come John. Come for me.” Thomas wrapped his fingers around John's cock and stroked him lazily until he was coming, covering his hand and arching his back, sobbing around a moan. His hips stuttered for a moment before he went still, panting against Thomas' chest, a few tears sneaking out.

“ _Je t'aime..._ Thomas- I love you.” He gasped. And he meant it.

“I love you too. Come on. You've got to get up. Just a little bit.” Thomas rolled him over to the other side of the couch easily, pulling out and kissing his cheek softly. “I'll be right back.” And he was true to his word. He had buttoned his pants up again and taken his shirt off, coming back to kneel on the couch with the box in his hand. “Want to sit in my lap?” John nodded and let himself be maneuvered into Thomas' lap, nuzzling against his bare chest. He watched Thomas' hands while he worked, they were always so steady, his had always been too shaky. That's how he had hurt himself. Thomas would make sure he was okay now. The tiny flame from the lighter seemed like the brightest light in the room and all of John's focus went to that. When it went out he blinked and started a bit in Thomas' lap.

“How much longer?” He whined, biting his lip when he was shushed.

“Hold still.” Thomas scolded softly. “Where?”

“Here.” John ran his fingertips over his hip and Thomas nodded, pressing down hard for a minute. He closed his eyes. He could watch when he did it himself but when Thomas did it for him he couldn't stand it.

' _I just can't look. It reminds me of being at the doctor._ ' He remembered explaining sometime in his hazy past. Thomas had laughed at him then and he was chuckling softly now.

“You're alright. I've got you. I've always got you.”

“I know. I trust you.” John's heart was racing. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I'll be right here.”

 

There was pain. There was always pain at first. Starting with a little pin prick then burning out away from there. God did it fucking hurt. John bit his lip and sucked in a harsh breath. Thomas was whispering to him, he couldn't hear him, but he could feel his lips moving against his shoulder. The burn started to fade and there was another sharp little pull. Done. He exhaled shakily and Thomas' arms were tight around him, pulling him up against his chest.

“I've got you...”

And then there was nothing. Nothing hurt. Thomas' arms were closer to phantoms now, still there, but more of a brushing touch than anything.

“ _I've always got you._ ” And those were the only words John ever needed to hear. As long as his Thomas was here, he was safe. He could relax. He could lock up the guilt that tore at him from when he lied to Alex. And he was loved. He just _knew_ he was so, so loved.

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have any closing words here. I think this is something I just need to leave as is.
> 
> As always thank you so, so, so much for reading. I live for your comments, kudos and bookmarks, so go ahead and do those things if you feel the need to.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	6. A Brief Pause

Friends, readers, you are all precious to me. I want you to remember that always.

In light of the events in Orlando on Sunday June 12, and the nature of this fic and where it was headed in the next couple chapters, I've elected to take a break from this and I hope that you can understand. The story is very important to me and I know that a lot of you were looking forward to the next update but right now that's not something I can do.

I will resume updates in about two weeks (maybe sooner).

Please be safe in this world. Be kind to each other, and know that if you ever need anything I will always be here. Even if you just need a listening ear I'm here. I know I'm just someone that writes smutty fics about the Founding Fathers, but I do care about each and every one of you.

Much Love,

Alex


	7. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally just filth

XOXO

 

Alex woke up the next day and immediately panicked. This was not his bed. This was not his room. And the arm around his waist was _clearly_ not John's or Thomas'. He tried to scamper out of the bed but the arm around him tightened and a deep voice rumbled in his ear.

“The sun isn't up yet. Go back to sleep.” The night before came back to him in bits and pieces, slowly at first then all at once. He was in Washington's bed. He hadn't left him in a spare room or on the couch... He relaxed again and pressed himself up against Washington's chest, glad for the warmth and comfort. “There you go.” He whispered. He sounded like he was smiling.

“Thanks for letting me stay.” Alex whispered back, running his fingertips across the back of George's knuckles softly, getting another tight squeeze.

“Don't mention it.” He was asleep again before Alex could say anything else, so he just burrowed down into his arms and closed his eyes, trying to will himself back to sleep. With George's body heat, and the soft deep breaths that Alex could feel in his own chest it didn't take long.

 

It must have been a few hours later the next time Alex opened his eyes, the sun was streaming in through the blinds and right into his eyes, and George wasn't behind him anymore. Yawning, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stretched his arms up over his head, groaning when his shoulder popped uncomfortably. It had started doing that well before his internship at the White House and had gotten worse over the years. John told him that he should see a doctor about it but he brushed him off. It was just a fact of his life. Nothing to worry about.

“You're up.” George smiled when Alex shuffled into the kitchen a few minutes later.

“'Morning.” Alex yawned. “How long have you been up?”

“About an hour now.”

“You could have woken me up.” George shook his head.

“You looked like you needed your sleep. Besides, when I got up you didn't even move. You were out.” He laughed. “Are you hungry?” Alex shook his head.

“Not yet.” He hopped up to sit on the counter and got a playful pinch on his thigh for it. “I'd kill for some coffee though.”

“How about a good morning kiss instead?” George had moved to stand in front of him, hands resting on the counter on either side of his thighs. And what kind of man would he be if he denied such a polite request?

“That sounds like a fair trade.” Alex smiled and rested his forehead against George's for a moment before kissing him slowly. The domestic feel of the gesture made his heart ache. How long had it been since he had had a moment like this with Thomas? How long had it been since they had just teased each other? He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind.

' _Thomas has a lot of other things to worry about._ ' He told himself.

“Alright. Get down so I can get you your coffee.” Alex slid off the counter and stood off to the side while George poured out a cup.

“A little bit of cream, lots of sugar.” He yawned, finding a new perch a little ways down the counter, George sighing at him and laying a hand on his knee. “Thank you.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss the older man on the cheek. “Did I tell you last night that you have a lovely home?”

“Not in as many words, but yes.”

“Well you do.” Alex sipped his coffee and let his eyes roam the kitchen, taking in the details he had missed the night before. He hummed and tapped his fingers on the dark marble counter top, letting his lips rest on the rim of his cup. He wasn't aware of George watching him until he cleared his throat. “Yes?”

“I asked if you wanted anything to eat yet.”

“Oh, no no it's fine. I can't eat right away in the morning. Oh actually, where did you put my coat? I've got medicine to take in the morning. I left it in my pocket.”

“I'll get it for you.” George went back to the living room and Alex followed him with sharp eyes. He liked watching Washington. He moved like a militarily man, slow and calculated, his shoulders back and- goddamn those shoulders. He smiled behind the mug and looked down at the floor. “Here.” George handed over the bottle and Alex popped it open. “What's it for?” He sipped his own coffee.

“Anxiety.” Alex tipped back the pill easily. “Been on it for years.” He shrugged. “So. What brings you down to the lounge? You've been coming for quite a while right?”

“I'm an old friend of Thomas'. Our wives were friends.” Alex choked on his coffee.

“Sorry, I forget he was married sometimes.” He laughed and wiped at his chin. “I don't know how. I've met her. She doesn't like me or John very much.”

“I can imagine.” George leaned in again and Alex held his breath when he swiped his thumb over his lower lip. “You missed some.”

“You can kiss me if you want to. You don't have to be cheesy.” Alex teased, his forehead resting against George's again. He huffed out a laugh and reached back to wind his fingers through his hair, pulling him and nipping at his lower lip.

Alex spread his legs a little more, letting George settle between them and wrapping them loosely around his hips, moaning into their kiss. He awarded himself a little smile when the other man pulled in a sharp gasp at being pulled in closer. George slid his hands down his sides and hooked his fingers in the waistband of his boxers, tugging them down easily, leaving him sitting on the counter in just the button down shirt he had borrowed the night before.

“Alexander...” He whispered across his lips.

“Yes?”

“You're fucking gorgeous.” Alex tipped his head back and whined when Washington's kisses trailed down to his neck. Guilt gnawed at him, turning his stomach over and tying it into knots. He tried to remind himself that Thomas said it was okay. And if Thomas said it was okay, then it really was. He had permission. But when George set his teeth against his neck he gasped.

“Wait- don't-” He tried to get the words out before he bit down. Panic flooded his veins and he tried to squirm backwards out of his arms but they held strong. “S-stop.” He pleaded weakly. It was too much. He was biting too hard. He was going to leave a bruise. Thomas would be mad.

“Shh. Don't worry. It won't bruise.” George kissed the indents he had left in Alex's skin softly. “I promise.”

“You need to be careful...” Alex scolded. His words didn't hold much heat though, he was panting and turning to liquid under George's hands. “Please. He doesn't like that...”

“I know. He told me.” He gave Alex's hips a little squeeze and pulled him closer to the edge of the counter, kissing down his chest.

“What are you-?” He broke off, his head falling back and hitting the cupboard behind him when Washington took his cock into his mouth. It wasn't unwelcome, just unexpected. “Shit..” He hissed out through clenched teeth.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“God, no!” He panted. “I just feel like I should be doing this for you.” He bit his lip and smiled a little when George laughed.

“You'll get your chance.” And he sunk down again, rolling his tongue against the bottom of his cock and taking it all the way to the base. Alex squirmed and tried to reach down to grab George's shoulders, anything to steady himself, but at any movement, George would just grip his hips a little tighter and would shoot him a look.

“Mr. Washington... sir- _shit_ \- if you don't stop I-”

“Hush Alexander.” George stood to his full height again, pressing up against Alex and kissing him, licking into his mouth and wrapping a hand around his spit slick cock. “I want you to come.” It almost sounded like an order, but not in the same way an order from Thomas sounded. And who was he to refuse? Alex tucked his head in against George's neck and moaned, his arms tight around his shoulders, nails digging into his bare skin, and spilled between his fingers.

“Fu-” The curse was cut off with another bruising kiss. Alex's head was spinning, and he didn't have any time to get his bearings back before two of George's fingers, slick with saliva and his own come, pressed against his ass.

“Relax. I've got you.” George wrapped his other arm around the back of his shoulders, supporting him easily as his fingers slipped in. “What do you need? Speak up.”

“More.” Was the only thing Alex managed to pant out. “Please. Please...”

“Okay. Okay. I've got you. Just hold on to me okay?” George pressed in another finger and pulled him in closer with a tight grip on his hip. Alex ended up doing the exact opposite, laying back on the counter, resting his weight on his elbows, hooking one leg over George's shoulder and sighing when he gripped his thigh tight, his fingers moving in deeper, harder.

“There!” He encouraged, his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up. “Right there.” He moaned when George crooked his fingers again, then whined when he pulled them out. “ _Fuck._ Don't stop.”

“Not stopping.” George grunted, pushing his sweats down with one hand and pressing Alex's knee up to his chest with the other. He spit in his palm and spread it over his cock, holding himself at the base as he pressed in slow.

“Never pegged you for the type to fuck someone on the kitchen counter.” Alex teased breathlessly, scooting his hips up so that he was at the very edge of said counter with only Washington's almost bruising grip on his thighs keeping him from slipping off with every thrust.

“I could always take you back to the bedroom.” He teased back, leaning down to pepper kisses along Alex's chest and shoulders.

“This is-” Alex gasped when a particularly hard thrust made him slide back a little. “This is fine.” He moaned, trying to prop himself up again, with no luck. One hand deserted his thigh in favor of wrapping around his cock again and he trembled, biting his still swollen lip to hold back his pleas to have it harder, faster, to have _more_. Thomas liked to hear him beg, but only on his terms. Only if he told him to. If he got greedy, Thomas would stop and he couldn't bear the thought of George stopping now. He was so close, and George was being so generous. He didn't want to make him angry. He choked on a sob when he was pulled up for a kiss.

“Again.”

“What?”

“I want you to come again for me Alexander.”

“ _Mon Dieu... Vous_ _ê_ _tes si bon pour moi... Merci... merci... merci..._ ” Alex rambled, pulling himself up to wrap his arms around Washington's neck, holding on as if his life depended on it as George pounded into him. “ _Merde_!”

“That's it. Come on baby.. Come for me.” George panted in Alex's ear.

“Not- Not until you-” Alex insisted, gasping. “I want you to come first.” He surprised himself with the ability to string words together into a coherent sentence. “Sir, I want you to fill me up. I want to feel you inside me for the rest of the day.” His voice dropped to a whisper in George's ear. “Please sir-”

“Alexander! Shit!” George's hips stuttered and he groaned. Alex moaned when he felt the other man coming, his cock twitching inside of him. And that was enough to set him off. He was almost crying as he came, just barely overstimulated, and squirming in George's arms as he started to come down from his high.

“Thank you...” He breathed, still clinging, trembling. “Thank you...”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something to tide you over until I finish the next ACTUAL chapter! If you follow me on Tumblr, you may have seen a few asks about the next update- It will be out soon, but between work, stories for the “A Little Unconventional” series (which updates much more frequently because I can write most of those at work- you should check those out if you've got the time), working on outlining a book, and pushing out two scripts for short films- I'm a little swamped. But this has been one of my favorite fics to work on EVER so I'll try to get into an actual schedule with updates.
> 
> I am absolutely blown away by the amazing support I've gotten for this fic- so thank you thank you thank you to every last one of you who has left comments, kudos or bookmarked this. You are all amazing and I love you.
> 
> So keep doing all of those things!! Next update should be here by let's say....... Sunday. I'm about half way done with it now.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex 
> 
> ps- I changed my name here, for daily shenanigans or to just come talk to me, come to my Tumblr at KayKatastr0phe


	8. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and good day!! Welcome back to our regularly scheduled programming. What have we learned so far? Well, Alex is starting to have some doubts about Thomas, John is an addict, and Thomas is still an asshole. Thank you all for your continuing support. Let's try to get Alex home in one piece, shall we? Everyone ready? Okay. Let's go!

XOXO

 

Alex clenched his fists nervously as George pulled up to the lounge. Thomas had demanded that he be dropped off there, he didn't like people knowing where he lived. He was standing outside with John, the two of them passing a pack of cigarettes between them and lighting one each and Alex felt his face heat up when he got a good look at John. He was wearing shorts that had no worldly business being as short or as _tight_ as they were, a loose fitting tank top- probably one of Thomas'- and had a pair of sunglasses covering his bright hazel eyes. He swallowed hard and George shot him a curious look.

“You alright Alex?” He asked, reaching over to touch his arm gently.

“Yeah.” He choked out. “I'm great. Yeah.”

“What's up?”

“John...” Alex breathed, not taking his eyes off of his boyfriend.

“He looks good.” George hummed in agreement, giving him a once over. “You two are lucky to have each other.”

“I know.” Alex smiled. “Hey, thanks. For last night. And this morning. I really appreciate it. I had a good time.”

“I did too.” George gave his hand a little squeeze. “Listen... Alexander... If you ever need anything, anything at all, just give me a call, okay? Hercules and Lafayette both have my number. Have them get a hold of me if you can't.” He looked over at him, his dark eyes serious. “I mean it Alex. Don't hesitate.”

“I won't.” Alex gave him a reassuring smile through the lie. “Thank you, sir.” George's hand tightened over his and he looked like he was going to lift it to kiss his knuckled like he had earlier, but he didn't.

“Be safe.” He warned.

“I will.” Alex climbed out of the car and John dropped the pack of cigarettes in his haste to rush over to him. Thomas caught it easily, following more slowly, taking a long drag off if his cigarette.

“Alex!” John all but flung himself into Alex's arms and hugged him tight. “I missed you.”

“I was only gone one night _mi querido_.” Alex laughed, planting a sound kiss on his cheek. “I missed you too though.”

“Hey baby.” Thomas drawled, pulling Alex in for a kiss when he reached them. “The bed felt empty without you.” His hand was gentle on his waist and he left little kisses on the top of his head. “Did Mr. Washington treat you right beautiful?” He asked, his grip getting a little tighter, a little more possessive.

“He was fine.” Alex shrugged nonchalantly. “He's got nothing on you and John though.” He smiled out the lie with the practiced skill of a politician. Thomas smiled and kissed his cheek gently.

“Good to hear. Do you want lunch?” At the question, Alex's stomach rumbled. He had forgotten about having breakfast this morning.

“I could eat.” He had learned long ago to downplay his own needs until Thomas made a fuss over him.

“John?” John wasn't as subtle. He nodded right away and threaded his fingers with Alexander's. “Alright boys. Let's go.”

“John are you alright? You feel warm...” Alex gave John's hand a little squeeze and looked over at him as they followed behind Thomas. “John you look sick...” And he did. Now that Alex was closer he could see the dark circles under his boyfriend's bloodshot eyes.

' _Have his fingers always been this thin? Has_ he _always been this thin?_ ' He thought, running his thumb over John's knuckles.

“I'm alright.” John pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes again. “Just had some stomach problems last night. Something I ate, I'm sure.” Alex hated it when he lied. But he never dared to call him on it.

' _He'll tell you when he feels like it_...' He assured himself.

“Okay...” He let the subject drop and just squeezed his hand again. “You look really good today John.” He breathed in his ear, low enough that Thomas wouldn't hear. He saw the blush creeping up John's neck to his cheeks and ears and smiled, kissing his temple. “Really pretty.”

“Alex, what's gotten into you?” John smiled.

“What? I can't compliment you?” Alex teased, pressing another kiss to his cheek. He smelled like Thomas' soap and shampoo. “Did you two have a good night?”

“Yeah. It was pretty quiet. Watched some movies, ordered a pizza.”

“Thomas let a pizza he didn't make himself into his home?” Alex raised his voice a little and Thomas looked over his shoulder at him.

“I order out sometimes.” He defended, peaking over the top of his sunglasses. “What did you and Mr. Washington get up to?” Alex blushed and looked down at his feet as he walked.

“Not much. Actually we mostly watched TV last night.”

“And what about this morning?” Thomas prompted, falling back a bit to wrap an arm around Alex's waist. “You're limping.”

“Can we talk about it when we get home?” He glanced at the people on the street around them. The three of them were already getting dirty looks and he didn't feel like disclosing the details of his morning while he was already being judged. “Or at least someplace where we won't be overheard?” He added, trying not to sound disobedient.

“That naughty, huh?” Thomas teased, giving his ass a quick squeeze and kissing his cheek. “Didn't think the old man still had it in him.” He chuckled, almost to himself. Alex bit his tongue to keep from reminding Thomas that George was only a few years older than him. “You can tell us about it later doll.” Thomas gave him one last kiss and reached over to squeeze John's shoulder before he pulled ahead again, taking out his phone and making a call. Alex strained to hear what was being said but Thomas kept his voice low. He only looked back at them once, and when he did he nodded once at John who nodded back before saying a few parting words and hanging up. Alex shot John a curious look but he just smiled and gripped his hand a little tighter. Something was wrong. One of them was lying.

“John...” Alex's voice was barely above a whisper. “What really happened last night? Please... tell me...” John's fingers twitched and he gave him a look that stopped him cold.

“Nothing happened Alexander.” He hissed out. “We had a late dinner, we fucked, we took a shower, we watched a movie, we went to bed. Don't you trust us?”

“No! No it's not like that... You just... You seem off today, that's all...” Alex looked down and went to pull his hand away from John's, but he tightened his grip and stopped walking.

“Alex. I'm fine. Tom's fine. We're all fine.” Alex wanted nothing more than to look into John's eyes and catch him in his lie, but his sunglasses blocked his view. John was chewing on his lower lip and he kept touching a spot behind his ear. He was nervous.

“Alright...” Alex relented, again, and kept walking, trying to catch up to Thomas who was standing at the corner, leaning into a car window. “What is he doing?” Alex pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head, trying to get a better look at the driver of the car.

“Probably just someone he knows from the lounge.” John shrugged, tilting his own glasses down to take a peak as well. “Tom!” He called when they got a little closer. “Who's your friend?” Alex ignored the stab of jealousy that hit him in the gut when John slid right up next to Thomas, ducking under his arm and reaching into the car to shake the hand of the man driving, who Thomas introduced as 'Sam'.

“You must be John. He's a pretty little thing Thomas, you lucky dog.” Alex bristled when Sam's hand lingered too long and he gave John a once over with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “And who's that behind you?”

“This is Alexander. Come say hello doll.” Thomas' smile was almost too sweet, but when Alex stayed where he was, it turned sour. “Alexander. Don't be rude.” He snarled out, coming over to grab his arm and tug him closer to the car. “I'm sorry Sam, he's a little shy.” His smile was friendly but his grip on Alex's wrist was bruising. “Alexander, Mr. Seabury has been a good friend of mine for a long time. Be polite.”

“Very nice to meet you Mr. Seabury.” Alex gave him the sugar sweet politician's smile and shook his hand.

“Oh no, the pleasure is all mine.” Something about this man was rubbing Alex the wrong way, hitting all the buttons to make him want to turn and run. He backed away to stand with John when Sam turned his attention back to Thomas. “You can expect a call from Mr. King later, Thomas. He's very interested in speaking with you.”

“I'm free all night. I look forward to his call.” Thomas straightened up, putting one hand in his pocket.

“Have a nice night Mr. Jefferson. Keep those boys close.” Alex shivered and Thomas squared his shoulders.

“Don't you worry. I will.” And then he was gone, and Thomas took a breath before starting back down the street, Alex and John close behind.

“What was that?” Alex demanded, grabbing Thomas' wrist to stop him. “Who the hell was that guy?” Thomas yanked his arm away and shot Alex a glare that almost stopped his heart.

“It's none of your business, Alexander.” He snapped.

“I think it _is_ my business! Did you see the way he was looking at me!? The way he was looking at _John_!?”

“Big talk from the _tramp_ that lets me pass him off to anyone that wants him.” Thomas sneered, crowding in on Alex's personal space, practically pinning him to the wall.

“Tom. That's enough.” John put his hands on Thomas' arms and pulled him away gently. “He's just looking out for me. Leave him be.” Thomas started to stalk off but Alex stayed where he was, his shoulders shaking from the effort of not crying.

“Is... Is that really what you think of me?” He whispered.

“Alex...” John put a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off and took a step closer to Thomas who had frozen.

“Thomas. Answer me. Is that really what you think of me? Do I mean that little to you?” Alex knew his voice was shaking and he cursed it. Thomas hated it when he cried... “Everything I have ever done... I did it because I thought it would make _you_ happy. I thought that was what you wanted from me.” His voice cracked. “I went with them, all of them, because _you_ told me to.” He sobbed. Thomas turned around and Alex was expecting to see anger on his face but he just looked concerned.

“Don't cry...” He whispered, holding his face in his hands and wiping his tears away. “Alexander please don't cry... I'm sorry. That was out of line. I love you. You know I do.”

“I _don't_ know that!” Alex snapped. “I _don't_ know that you love me Thomas! You- you always say that you do but then you turn around and- and you do things like you did last night!”

“Alex-”

“No! Listen to me! You say you love me one second, then the next you hurt me! Or- or you're passing me off to the highest bidder!” Thomas tried to hush him when his voice rose, looking around nervously at the people around them. “And then you lie to me!”

“Alex, calm down.” John begged.

“You too!” Alex's heart twisted when John reeled back, looking like he had been slapped. “What are you hiding from me John!? I thought we were supposed to be able to tell each other anything!”

“Is everything alright here gentlemen?” A pair of officers walked up to the trio when Alex leaned against the wall and slid down until his head was between his knees and John had knelt down nest to him, putting an arm around his shoulders and whispering to him to calm down.

“Everything is fine.” Thomas put on a stiff smile. “He's having a panic attack. We're just trying to get him home. Sorry to cause a disturbance.” The officer gave him a skeptical look but nodded.

“Make sure you get him off the sidewalk. Don't want you blocking foot traffic.”

“Right away sir.” Alex felt Thomas kneel down on his other side and hook an arm around him. “Come on Alex. Get up. We've got to go.”

“Thomas, he can't.” John whispered. Alex could hear them on either side of him but their voices were muffled, like he was under water. He was shaking, he couldn't catch his breath. This wasn't supposed to happen. He had been so good. He had stayed on his medication. He had learned how to calm himself down and cope. He couldn't calm down now. His heart was racing and everything was blurring together, all the noise around him hit at once and if he tried to open his eyes the light was blinding.

“Alex. Honey, you've got to breathe okay? Deep breath in-” Alex tried to follow Thomas' directions, taking a shaky breath in, “-and out. Good. You're doing good. Come on. Stay with us. Tell me our names.”

“J-John L-Laurens... T-Thomas J-Jefferson...” He stammered out. John's arm was tight around him and he leaned into the touch.

“Very good honey. You've got to get up now. We can't stay here. John go get a cab. I'll stay with him.” Then John was gone and Thomas was pulling him to his feet, holding him tight to his chest. “Did you take your medicine this morning?” He nodded. “I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said what I said. Alex, I do love you. John loves you. We would be nothing without you. And Lafayette and Hercules, they love you too.” Thomas whispered against his cheek. “I'm sorry...”

“I.. I forgive you...” Alex was still trying to catch his breath, trying to match his breathing with Thomas'.

“Tom. Come on!” John called from the curb, holding the cab door open while Thomas led Alex to the car slowly. He climbed in first and took Alex's hand to help him in, pulling him tight against his side while Thomas slipped in and gave the driver their address.

“Just close your eyes and breathe. Just relax. We'll be home soon...”

 

Alex didn't know how he had managed to fall asleep, but he was woken up a good twenty minutes later by John giving him a soft kiss on the forehead.

“We're home.” He whispered. “Come on. Let's get you inside and into a bath okay?” Alex clung to John on the walk up to the house while Thomas paid their driver and thanked him for the ride. His knees were knocking together still and his whole frame was shaking but his breathing had evened out and he felt John let out a sigh of relief when they got through the front door. “Thomas, we'll meet you in the bathroom. I'm going to put him in a bath, alright?”

“Alright. Watch him.” Thomas leaned in to kiss them both softly. “I'll be there in a minute. I have a couple calls to make. We're staying in tonight.”

 

John helped Alex upstairs and started running the bath for him. His heart was racing. Alex was getting too close to finding out the truth about him. He could never know... He would be crushed...

“Come here.” He pulled him into a tight hug and tucked his face in against his neck. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry...” He whispered. “I'm going to make it better Alex I promise. I'm not going to let him talk to you like that anymore... I'm not going to let him hurt you anymore... Can you hear me?” Alex nodded. “Can you talk to me?” He shook his head. “That's okay. I'm going to stay right here with you alright? I won't leave you alone...” Alex squeezed him tight and he kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

Getting Alex undressed and into the tub went surprisingly well. He was floating. Normally he would have fought it, saying that he was fine when he wasn't. John stripped down and slid into the tub behind him, wrapping his arms around him tight and pulling him up to his chest. He started humming, running his hands over Alex's arms and he smiled when he hummed back.

“You in there baby?” He kissed Alex's ear softly.

“Yeah.” His voice caught in his throat but at least he was talking. “Where's Thomas?”

“He's downstairs making some phone calls. Do you want me to go get him?” He could only see one side of Alex's face but he looked scared and conflicted. “I'll only be gone a minute. I promise.”

“Okay.” Alex nodded and John smiled, turning his head gently and kissing him.

“You're doing so well Alex. I'm so proud of you.” Alex smiled at that and John climbed out of the tub and dried off enough to pull his shorts back on. “You gonna be okay?” He asked, one hand on the door knob.

“Yeah. Yeah I'm okay now.” John nodded and left the room, following the sound of Thomas' voice down to the kitchen.

“James. Hey, listen to me for a second. Stop- stop yelling. I know. I know it's a big night but we need to postpone it. Alex needs me.” John saw his face contort with anger. “Don't you dare talk about him like that. Look, Jemmy. You're my oldest, closest friend. I need you to do this for me. Call him and tell him I'll be in tomorrow night.” John knocked on the wall softly and gave Thomas a small smile when he turned around. “I've got to go. Get it done, okay?” He hung up the phone with a sigh.

“Was that Mr. Madison?” John came over and put a hand on Thomas' arm.

“Yeah. We were supposed to have a guest tonight but you two are more important.” Thomas leaned down to give John a kiss. “How is he?”

“He's verbal again. He's asking for you.”

“Is he still in the bath?” John nodded. “Alright I'll be up in in a minute. I love you John.”

“I love you too.” He smiled. “Hey.. When you talked to Sam did you get-”

“I got it baby. Don't worry. Not tonight though. Not with Alex like this, okay?”

“Okay.” John leaned up for another kiss. “I'll tell him you're on your way.”

 

Before he got to the door he could hear Alex humming, and he smiled. He didn't know the song but it was a lovely tune and he stopped just outside the door to listen for a minute before going in.

“Hey. Thomas is on his way up. He was on the phone with Mr. Madison.”

“Thanks John.” Alex reached for him and John sat on the edge of the tub and held his hand. “How long was I down?”

“About half an hour.” He brought Alex's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles softly. “Thomas and I were really worried about you... You did take your medicine today right?”

“Yeah. A good hour or so before I came home... I'm sorry I worried you guys...”

“Don't be sorry.” Thomas came in slowly, three mugs of hot chocolate balanced carefully in his hands. “We just wanted to make sure you were safe. It's been a long time since you've had an attack that bad.” He set two of the mugs down and joined John on the edge of the tub, leaning down to kiss the top of Alex's head and hand him the third mug.

“Thank you.” He smiled and took a slow sip. Even though it was the middle of summer John took a sip of his own hot chocolate and smiled. It was a comfort for Alex and he would drink it even if he was standing on the surface of the sun if it made Alex feel better.

“What do you want for dinner? Anything. I'll make it.” Alex smiled at that and John's heart skipped a beat. He was so lovely. So perfect. He caught himself staring at the bruises on his hips and he swallowed hard to get rid of the lump that had formed in his throat. Every time a new bruise came up he wanted to scream. He wanted to cry... He wanted to hit Thomas back... But Thomas had almost never laid a hand on him.

' _He's not good like you John._ ' Thomas' words rang in his head. He was right. Alex needed to behave. That's just how things were.

But if that's how things were... and it was supposed to be that way... Why did he feel so sick...

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! A real update! With feelings! Oh Thomas, Thomas, Thomas... GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND STOP DOING THE THINGS YOU'RE DOING. IT'S NOT GOOD.  
> Why do I do the things I do? -you ask. Well it's because I am a horrible person, that's why. Fight me.
> 
> ANYWAY. I think it's about time someone stood up to this guy don't you? Well fear not, that's coming up next.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for all of your support. Please leave your kudos and bookmarks and if you have any questions, comments or concerns feel free to leave a comment here or come to my Tumblr (KayKatastr0phe) and I'll get back to you in three to five business days.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	9. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something had to give...
> 
> Warnings for this chapter (I don't do this often but I think it needs to be addressed before hand in this case. There will probably be two other chapters with specific warnings): Violence (more than usual), another panic attack (from someone else and for a different reason), drug use, Thomas may or may not be losing control of the situation.  
> (just so you know I wrote the last part of this in tears because “With Or Without You” -the cover by Two Cellos- started playing. Please join me in this and listen to that while you read.)
> 
> Be safe.

XOXO

 

“Alex. Alex, it's time to wake up.” Alex rolled over and groaned, pressing his face into the pillow. “Come on. Get up.” John pushed his shoulder playfully. “We've got to go to work.”

“Screw work. Stay here and play hooky with me.” He tugged John down and wrapped him in a tight hug.

“You're ridiculous.” John huffed, giving him a sound kiss. “We have to leave in twenty minutes.”

“That's plenty of time.” Alex kissed John's neck and slipped a hand between the two of them.

“Boys.” Thomas warned from the door. “We don't have time.”

“Just John.” Alex insisted, palming John's cock through his boxers. “We'll have plenty of time to get ready.” John trembled in his arms and bucked against his hand.

“Alright.” Thomas laughed and came to sit on the edge of the bed.

“You want to watch?” John teased, panting a little.

“I always want to watch my pretty boys together.” Thomas laid a hand across the back of Alex's and squeezed gently, drawing a whine out of him. His hands were shaking as he pulled John's boxers down his hips, just enough to free his cock, and wrapped his fingers around him.

“You too.” John gasped, starting to pull Alex's boxers down too. “Please Thomas. Please let me get him off too.” He begged. Alex's heart skipped a beat when Thomas chuckled and tugged on his hair.

“Do you want to get off too, Alexander?” He asked, his voice smooth as silk. Alex whimpered. He did. But he didn't want Thomas to think he was being greedy.

“Please...” He finally breathed out when John pressed his hips up against his gently. “Can I?”

“Of course you can doll.”

“Thank you Thomas... _Merci_...” Alex craned his neck for a kiss and was surprised- pleasantly so- when Thomas caught his lips with his own.

“You're so good this morning. So polite.” Thomas smiled against Alex's lips.

“Alex- please! Move!” John begged, grinding his hips up, pressing their cocks together. “Please...”

“That's it John. Beg for him. Do you like that Alexander? Your pretty John begging you to get him off?” Alex nodded, too breathless to answer and John whimpered out pleas until Alex ground up against him.

“Fuck!” He gasped. “There- Alexander right there- don't stop... Please, I-” Alex silenced him with a kiss. He heard Thomas groan from edge of the bed, opened one eye to peek over at him, and his hips almost stuttered in their movements when he saw the way he was watching them- pupils blown wide, cock in hand, stroking lazily.

“Keep going.” He ordered smoothly. “We have to leave here in fifteen minutes. If you don't get off now, you wont get another chance until we get home.” He warned with a smirk.

“Yes sir.” Alex heard his words echoed by John, panted into his ear and for a second the world stopped and he felt a shiver roll down his spine, imagining what it would be like to have John call him 'sir' someday, away from Thomas of course. Or calling John 'sir', or any of the names that were reserved for Thomas. He moaned at the thought and gripped John's hip a little tighter with one hand and used the other to cup his cheek and pull him into a kiss. It was a little rushed, a little sloppy, and his lip stung where he had bitten it a couple nights ago, but Alex would never complain about kissing John. It was always perfect in it's own way.

Alex maneuvered John so that he was on his back, giving him a little more leverage to thrust against him, movements made easier by the slick pre that trickled from both of their cocks. He tried not to dwell on how easy it had been to move John around. He had never noticed just how thin he was... He thought back to when they had first gotten together, John wasn't as thin then. Well... He _was_ but in a different way. He had been toned, muscular, now he was just... _thin_... He pushed all of those thoughts back and focused on kissing and licking his way down John's neck. He moved his hand to get a better grip on John's hip and he let out a sharp gasp.

“Are you okay?” Alex yanked his hand away and glanced down, noticing the bruise blooming just over his hip bone.

“I'm fine- I'm fine. Alex I'm so close- don't stop.” John tangled his fingers in Alex's hair and pulled him down, putting his lips to his neck. “Can I Thomas? Just a little one?” Alex felt his boyfriend's lips curl into a smile before he started sucking a hickey on the skin just above his collarbone.

“S-shit! John! S-stop. Please- wait.” He panted. “Not there.” He whined when John doubled his efforts. “John- I'm gonna come.”

“Do it.” John demanded against his lips. “Fuck, Alexander- _por favor, ven por m_ _í_ _. S_ _ó_ _lo quiero que se sienta bien mi amor_.”

“Oh my god...” Alex whimpered, his whole body shuddering as he came across John's stomach, trying to keep his hips moving while John followed, his release joining the mess between them. Alex pulled him into a kiss, still grinding against him, both riding out the last waves of their orgasms.

“My good boys.” Thomas' moan brought Alex back to earth and he turned to him with a shaky smile on his lips.

“Come here.” He cooed. “ _S'il vous pla_ _î_ _t Thomas_. Let us get you off.”

“My sweet Alexander.” Thomas put a too gentle hand on his cheek and kissed him sweetly. “Go get ready to go.”

“W-what?”

“Go on. You'll get your chance later.” Alex searched Thomas' eyes to see if he was angry. He didn't look angry. So what was he doing... Why was he being sent away...?

“Okay...” He stood, ignoring John's whine of protest and the gentle fingers that tried to wrap around his wrist. He kept his eyes on the floor and his stomach rolled with guilt while he tried to figure out what he had done wrong. He crossed the hall to the bathroom and turned on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up and brushing his teeth. He could hear John and Thomas talking in the next room, but couldn't make out their words. After another minute of straining to hear the conversation but only hearing half a word at a time then John's muffled moans, Alex threw his toothbrush into the sink and climbed in the shower. Part of him wanted to just sit there under the spray and tell Thomas that he was staying home again... But when his hands skimmed over the bruises on his hips he shivered and turned off the water, brushing his hair into place before going back into the bedroom where Thomas was fully dressed and John was laying on his stomach, panting and smiling over at him.

“Go on John.” Thomas gave him a pat on the thigh and he rolled out of bed slowly and easily. He brushed his fingertips over Alex's shoulder and smiled as he left. “Alex come here.” Alex tore his eyes away from John and looked at the floor again. He didn't move and he heard Thomas sigh. “Alexander.” He took a step back.

“What.” It wasn't a question. Just a word. Just a single syllable spat out in Thomas' direction.

“Come here.” He didn't _sound_ mad. More concerned. “What's the matter?” Now Alex looked up, glaring.

“You know what...” He muttered, going to his side of the dresser and digging for a pair of jeans.

“Alexander I'm not picking favorites. That's not what I was doing. I wanted to spend time alone with both of you today.” Alex's shoulders stiffened when Thomas' hands landed on his waist. “That's all it was baby, I promise.” Thomas' voice was too smooth for how harshly his hands were gripping his hips. “You'll get yours.” One hand left his hip to wrap around his throat and he tipped his head back. “Pretty.” Thomas breathed against his neck.

When John came back, Alex was dressed and sitting on the floor with this back against the bed and his phone in his hands, resting his head against Thomas' thigh while Thomas carded his fingers through his still damp hair.

“We need to leave soon.” Thomas informed them both, not looking up from his own phone. Alex glanced up at him and frowned a little when he saw the way he was glaring at the screen. He turned his eyes back to John and watched him. His movements were careful but his hands were shaking and his fingers kept slipping off of the buttons on his shirt.

“Here.” Alex stood and took the front of John's shirt in his hands and worked through the buttons easily.

“Thanks.” John's smile was as shaky as his hands.

“Are you okay?” Alex looped his arms around his waist and tucked his face down against his neck, kissing his shoulder.

“I'm fine.” John tilted Alex's face back up to kissed him, and Alex could almost taste the lie on John's chapped lips.

“Okay...”

 

It wasn't like John to be so quiet. Sure he was _quiet_ but today just seemed worse. He was resting his forehead against the window and staring out at the city rolling by them, his eyes glazed and almost disinterested, and Alex couldn't stop looking over his shoulder at him. He didn't say anything. He just tapped his foot to the music and tried to keep his eyes on his phone. Thomas tapped a couple times on the center console and Alex looked up sharply, surprised, before he saw Thomas smile and lay his hand, palm up, between them. He took his boyfriend's hand slowly, linking their fingers together and smiling when Thomas squeezed a little.

The sun setting over New York City was beautiful, and with the AC on just a little, the temperature in the car was perfect. Everything felt perfect and Alex tipped his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. Well... _almost_ perfect. John still hadn't said a word. Alex rolled his head to the side and nudged his sunglasses down his nose a bit to get a better look at him.

“What's up doll?” Thomas asked casually, still holding his hand.

“Just worried about John...” Alex whispered back. The only movement from John was how his head tipped and rolled with the turns of the car.

“Is he asleep?” Thomas craned his neck to look at him in the rear-view mirror.

“I think so.” Alex chewed at his bottom lip. “He's been sleeping a lot lately. Have you noticed?” Thomas sighed and nodded.

“Yeah. He hasn't said anything to me though.” He pressed his knee against the bottom of the steering wheel so he could bite at a hangnail on his left thumb before pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He offered one over to Alex, who accepted, before lighting his own and rolling down the window. “Maybe we should take a trip.” He mused.

“I'd like that.” Alex smiled and exhaled. “I think John would too.”

“Me too doll.”

 

…

 

“I'm telling you. He won't come back.” Hercules shook his head while Lafayette wiped down the bar.

“He will!” He insisted. “You saw the way he looked at Alexander! There's no way he isn't going to try to see him again. Maybe he can convince him to leave!” He looked up with a small, hopeful smile. “Maybe we can get the old Alex back.” Hercules just sighed.

“That would be nice. But Lafayette, think for a minute. Alex would never leave John. And you and I both know that John would never leave Thomas.” Lafayette just turned to the bottles behind the bar and started straightening them. “Do you know what he's on?” His eyes went wide.

“ _Quoi_?”

“John. Do you know what he's on? You can't tell me you haven't noticed.” Hercules kept his voice low and Lafayette shook his head. “Heroin... I've seen the deals. I've seen the people coming in to talk to Thomas. I knew John a little before he and Thomas got together. He was hooked back then, I thought he'd gotten clean but it looks like Thomas has just been making it worse.”

“ _Non... Je ne peux pas croire..._ I mean, I knew he got high sometimes, hell _we've_ smoked with him before but _this_...” He choked on his words and shook his head. “Does Alex know?” Hercules shook his head.

“I don't think so...” They both looked up sharply when the lock on the front door clicked and Thomas came in with John and Alex trailing behind him. John tripped over his feet and Alex went to steady him, they laughed about it and Thomas gave them an affectionate smile before he caught sight of Lafayette staring at them.

“What?” He snapped.

“You look tired, _Alexandre, avez-vous bien dormi_?”

“He slept just fine.” Thomas glared when Lafayette ignored him and came around to the other side of the bar and took Alex's face in his hands, kissing him on both cheeks.

“What about you John? _Mon petit_ you look exhausted.” He sighed, giving John the same treatment.

“They both slept fine.” Thomas snarled, putting himself between Lafayette, John and Alex. “I was there.”

“I don't think I was asking _you_.” Lafayette retorted calmly. “Are they not allowed to speak for themselves?” He felt Hercules put a hand on his arm.

“We're fine Lafayette.” Alex smiled. “I had a rough night and they both stayed up with me to make sure I was okay. We're all a little tired today.” Lafayette bit his tongue when Alex put a hand on Thomas' shoulder and steered him away from the bar.

“What happened?”

“He had-”

“I. Wasn't. Asking. You. _Thomas_.”

“Watch your fucking tone du Motier.” Thomas spat, turning back to him. “I could have you out of here anytime I wanted.” He warned.

“I'm the best bartender you've got. You won't fire me.” Lafayette scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I'll do whatever I damn well please to you. This is _my_ place and I won't stand for any disrespect here.” Thomas took another step closer and Lafayette tipped his chin up defiantly.

“Oh, but you have no problem disrespecting John and Alexander?” He curled his lip up in a sneer.

“Laf... Don't.” Hercules put a hand on his shoulder.

“No! I'm sick of this!” He shrugged off Herc's hand. “You think I don't see what you're doing to them!?”

“Lafayette! Stop!” Alex went to take a step around Thomas but John grabbed him around the waist when Lafayette stepped up to Thomas, who kept his mouth shut. Alex's heart was racing. Thomas never stayed calm this long. What was he doing? Why wouldn't he say anything?

“You're a monster.” Lafayette's voice dropped to something akin to a snarl and Alex shivered. He'd never heard his friend this angry before. “You don't deserve two wonderful men like Alexander and John who love you so damn much! All you deserve is a spot in the deepest pits of-” He was cut off when Thomas' fist collided with his jaw, sending him stumbling back until he hit the bar.

“Lafayette!”

“What the _fuck_ did I just tell you?” Thomas sneered, closing in on Lafayette again before Hercules could get between them. “I won't be spoken to like this.” He grabbed Lafayette's shoulders and pulled him down, driving his knee up into his chest.

“Thomas!” Alex cried out when Lafayette hit the floor and Thomas' foot connected with his stomach. “What are you doing!?” Thomas crouched down so that he was on the bartender's level and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, his fist coming down again and again, once more to his stomach and then to his face. Hercules tried to get between them, covering Lafayette as best he could while Alex grabbed one of Thomas' arms. John was standing behind them, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. “John! Help me!” He shook himself and ran up, grabbing Thomas' other arm, trying to pull him back while Herc pried his fingers loose from Lafayette's shirt and tried to pull him away.

“Both of you- Let go!” Thomas yanked the arm that Alex was holding on to free and turned to smack him across the face with the back of his hand, the sharp slap ringing in the emptiness of the lounge. John staggered back a pace and Hercules tucked Lafayette behind him. Alex hadn't moved. He stared at Thomas and held his breath when he stared back. He could feel blood on his chin from the cut on his lip opening again and his vision had gone cloudy with tears.

Nobody moved. Nobody said a thing. The only sounds in the lounge were the steady ticking of the clock, the soft hum of the refrigerators under the bar, and Thomas' ragged breathing. When Thomas stood everyone but Alex took a step back. He wiped his knuckles on his shirt, leaving a smear of red across the pristine white fabric.

“Get back to work.” He muttered. “John.” He snapped his fingers and John jumped. “Come.” He ordered. John looked over at Alex then down at the floor before following.

“John...” Alex whimpered. “Thomas, wait...” He made to follow them.

“You stay there.” Alex froze and watched Thomas grab John's arm and drag him back to his office.

“Come on... You need to sit down. Lafayette, can you hear me?” Hercules tried to move Lafayette over to one of the booths gently but he waved him off.

“Yeah.” Lafayette croaked. “Hercules, _s'il vous pla_ _î_ _t ne vous inqui_ _é_ _tez pas. Je vais bien mon amour_.”

“English, baby, English. You know I don't speak French...”

“He said he's fine. He doesn't want you to worry...” Alex whispered, finally turning around when the door to the office slammed shut. “Lafayette I'm so sorry...” He choked out. “Thomas has never... He's never hit anyone else like that...” He sniffled. Lafayette wrapped him in a tight hug, his own breath hitching.

“Do not worry _mon petit lion._ It's not as bad as it looks.” He sounded winded.

“Lafayette... You can't lie to me.” Hercules saw the look in Alex's eyes and his blood ran cold. “I know how hard he hits... I know how bad it hurts.” He touched his own ribs. “You took me to the hospital remember...?”

 

John's heart was pounding when Thomas slammed the office door shut behind them. He hadn't said a word since he told Alex to stay behind but the tension in the small room was almost worse than if he was yelling.

“Thomas...” He didn't look up. He was pacing the length of the room. “Thomas please... Talk to me...” He begged. Thomas finally stopped and he sighed.

“Are you okay?”

“W-What?”

“Are you okay John?”

“ _I'm_ fine. But you didn't hit _me_.” He snapped, flinching at the look Thomas shot him. “You hit Lafayette. You hit _Alex_.” He felt the tears on his face. “Thomas what's the matter with you?”

“Nothing is the matter with me.” John backed up against the wall when Thomas came closer. “Do you have a problem with the way I run my bar, pretty?” John looked down at the floor, shaking.

“No sir.” He whispered.

“That's right.”

“I'm sorry I raised my voice sir...” John felt like he was going to shake clear out of his skin when Thomas put a hand against his cheek and tipped his face up to look into his eyes.

“You know the punishment.” He pressed hard into the bruise on John's hip and he yelped.

“How long...?” He kept his eyes on Thomas' chest, he couldn't look into his eyes. Not now.

“One week.” _Now_ he looked up, eyes wide.

“Tom... Please. I- I can't.” He begged. “Please don't-”

“Stop John. Don't make this worse.” Thomas warned. John held on to the front of Thomas' shirt and looked up at him.

“Please... Let me make it better. I'll make it up to you, I swear. I can do a couple of days... just not a week, please.” He shivered when Thomas smirked down at him.

“Over the desk.” He ordered. “Now.” John scrambled to obey, ducking under Thomas' arm and unbuttoning his jeans as he bent over the desk. The edge dug into his hips and he grimaced, remembering the sharp bruises on Alex's hips from when he had been in this same position just two days before. “That's good John. That's very good.” Thomas ran a hand up his back and tangled his fingers in his hair, pushing his face down against the cold wood.

“Please... Anything you want Thomas. Anything.” He whimpered.

“You're damn right.” Thomas growled. John gasped when he pushed two fingers in. He didn't know when Thomas had grabbed lube but he thanked the stars that he had. Even when he was in trouble, he was awarded small luxuries. Alex hadn't been as lucky. His heart thudded hard in his chest and it was the only sound he heard in the small space of the office until he screamed when Thomas pushed his cock in next to his fingers. “Quiet.” He snarled.

“I-I'm sorry!” He gasped. “T-too... too much!”

“You'll take what I give you John. Do you understand?” He forced in a third finger and John's breath caught in his throat.

“I understand.” He whined, squeezing his eyes shut.

“When did you get so defiant?” Thomas set an agonizingly slow pace. “Is it because of Alexander? Is he trying to take my pretty John away from me? What kind of horrible things is he saying about me?”

“N-No! He would never-” John cut off with a gasp when he started to pick up the pace. “He's not trying to take me away from you. H-He loves you. I love you!” He insisted.

“I love you too darling. Always remember that.”

“I know...” John sobbed when Thomas pulled his fingers out and gripped his hips tight, fucking into him without a thought. Thomas wrapped a hand around his throat and pressed a kiss to his shoulder when he came, pulling out and cleaning himself off before tugging his jeans back up and going to the door, leaving John laying against the desk, breathless.

“Stay here. I'm going to go talk to Alex. Just... stay in here tonight.” John nodded, staying where he was until his knees stopped shaking. Even after Thomas had left the room, it wouldn't stop. He cleaned himself off the best he could and tried to rebutton his jeans, but his hands wouldn't stop shaking.

“Fuck it.” He hissed out between his teeth, going to the other side of the desk and opening the bottom left drawer. His heart stopped when all he saw was papers. He dropped to his knees and moved the papers out of the way, but only found the bottom of the drawer. “Where is it?” He opened the next drawer up and sifted through it's contents, but the box with his needles was nowhere to be found. His hands were shaking worse now, and his breath came in ragged gasps. Thomas hadn't taken it. He would have seen him take it. And there was no way Thomas would risk having anyone else see their dirty little secret... _His_ dirty little secret. He went to the cupboard in the corner and reached to the very back of every shelf.

“Fuck!” He yelled and kicked the side of a filing cabinet, the crunch of the thin metal denting under the force ringing in his ears. But under that there was another sound. He kicked again, gently this time and he knew immediately.

John yanked open the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet and moved everything to the side until he saw the pill bottle in the back corner. He cradled it in his hands like it was the most precious thing he had ever held. And at this moment, it was.

“God fucking... Shit. _Fuck_!” He couldn't open it. Fucking safety lids. Bracing himself on the filing cabinet, John slammed the heal of his foot down on the bottle and almost cried with relief when he heard the thin plastic shatter. “Thank fucking god.” He breathed, picking the pills out of the mangled bottle and looking around for a water bottle, anything really, to chase them down. He spotted the bottle of good scotch that Thomas kept in the glass cabinet above his desk for when he had important meetings and grabbed it, locking the office door before sitting heavily on the couch, pills in one hand, bottle of scotch in the other...

 

…

 

Alex stayed in the booth in the corner with his head in his hands while he waited for Thomas and John to come back. Lafayette was back behind the bar, finishing the jobs he needed to do before they opened for the night with Herc's help.

“Alexander?” He jumped when Thomas sat next to him and he pressed himself up against the wall when he reached for him. “Shh... It's okay... I'm sorry.” Thomas put a hand on his cheek and pulled him in closer, resting his forehead against his, their noses touching. “I'm so sorry I hit you like that dove... I truly am... Can you forgive me?”

“Where's John?”

“He's resting.” Thomas kissed his cheek gently. “He's okay. Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?”

“No. I'm fine...” He lied. “I'm sorry...”

“No, love, no. Don't be sorry. I'm sorry... I'm going to go talk to Lafayette. I'll apologize. Do you just want to relax tonight?” Thomas smiled and Alex offered a little smile in return.

“I'd like that. Can I go back with John?”

“Not tonight. Stay out here and be my eyes for me?”

“Of course.” Thomas leaned down and kissed him sweetly.

“I'm sorry about your lip.” He whispered, giving him another soft kiss. “I'll be right back.” Alex watched while Thomas talked to Lafayette and Hercules, shaking their hands and walking with them to the door before going behind the bar himself, phone to his ear.

 

It was another hour before anyone showed up for the night, and three before Alex saw George slip in, exchanging small talk with Mr. Madison as he passed. He ducked away, not wanting to be seen by him with the bruise that was forming on his cheek.

The evening passed without much incident, and if George had spotted him, he didn't say anything. It was five minutes till closing before Thomas came to talk to him again.

“Are you ready to go home?” He asked, running his fingers back through Alex's hair.

“Ready when you are.” He smiled back. “Want me to go get John?”

“Yeah. I'll be back there in a minute. I just need to ask James something.” Alex walked back to the office slowly, he was in no rush, but when he tried to turn the handle, it didn't budge.

“John?” He called, leaning in close to the door. “John it's Alex. Open the door.” He tried jiggling the handle again and his heart started racing. “John please. Open the door.” There was no response from the other side of the door. “Thomas!” He called over his shoulder. Thomas was at his side in an instant.

“What is it?”

“The door's locked. And John isn't answering me.” The fear in Thomas' eyes shocked Alex to his core, his heart felt like it would burst and bile rose in his throat.

“John!?” Thomas pounded on the door. “John open the door right now! Fuck!” He fumbled around in his pocket for his keys. “This door should never be locked when he's in there by himself.” He almost dropped the keys three different times while he tried to unlock the door. “John! Answer me baby. Please. Come on. You've gotta come open the door.” Alex stood next to him trembling. He had never seen Thomas cry, but now there were tears in his eyes.

“Tom...” He choked out. “Tom, what's happening.”

“I don't know baby, hold on.” He finally fit the right key into the lock and pushed the door open. He froze but put out an arm when Alex tried to push past him. “Go get Washington. Right now.”

“Thomas?”

“Now Alex!” Alex stumbled back when Thomas pushed him out of the way and rushed into his office. He ran back into the lounge and scanned the room for George among the few patrons that still lingered. When he didn't see him he rushed to the door.

“James!” He gasped, stopping by Thomas' old friend. “Did you see Mr. Washington leave?”

“He just walked out a minute ago. What's going on?”

“I don't know. Thomas told me to get him. Something happened to John.” James looked back toward the office and swallowed thickly. Alex didn't have time for this. He pushed out the front door and looked both ways down the street, catching sight of George down the block. “Wait!” He shouted after him. “George, wait!” He stopped short on the corner and turned around while Alex sprinted towards him.

“Alexander? What is it?” He put his hands on Alex's shoulders to steady him.

“John-” He panted out. “Some thing's wrong with John. Thomas told me to get you.” He looked up at him through his tears. “Please...”

“Alright. Come on Alexander. Deep breath okay? Let's go.” Alex tried to take a deep breath but it stuck in his throat while he ran back. James held the door open for them and followed when they bolted back to the office.

 

Thomas was on his knees on the floor when they got there and Alex felt the ground shift under his feet when he saw John laying on his side.

“John! John answer me! Come on baby, you gotta wake up.” Thomas was crying... He was screaming at John and shaking his shoulders. “Please. Fucking open your eyes! Please!”

“Thomas!?” Alex pushed past George and James who had both put hands on his shoulders. “What happened!?” He stopped short when he got a good look at John. His face was pale, dried tracks from tears on his cheeks and then the smell of vomit hit him and he saw it, puddled under his cheek. There was blood there. “Oh my god...” He dropped next to Thomas and it took everything in him not to be sick. “John...? _S'il vous pla_ _î_ _t_... No... God no...”

“George. James. Come help me get him up. We need to get him to a hospital.”

“Is he breathing?” George's steady voice and the hand on his shoulder gave Alex a moment of calm, but he didn't stop crying.

“Yes. He's breathing. But he won't wake up. He overdosed. We need to go. Now!”

“Okay. Okay. Thomas, you need to stay calm, alright? Look at me.” George had put his other hand on Thomas' shoulder. “What did he take?”

“I don't know! I took the-” Thomas broke off and looked over George's shoulder at James, who looked just as afraid. “I don't know.” He repeated. Alex spotted the shattered pill bottle on the other side of the room and got up on shaky legs to retrieve it.

“Here...” He handed the bottle over and Thomas swallowed.

“Shit... Fuck. God damn it John... What were you thinking...?”

“Let's get him out of here. James, go make sure everyone is out. My car is at the end of the block. Go get it.” George tossed James the keys and he nodded, giving Thomas one last look before backing out of the office. Alex could hear him shouting at people in the bar to get out. Saying they had an emergency and needed the building clear.

With George's help, he and Thomas got John off of the floor and into Thomas' arms. Alex took a shirt off of the back of the couch and wiped at John's cheek, trying to clean him up a little and George left for just a moment, coming back with a bottle of water.

“Thank you...” He whispered, wetting the edge of the shirt and trying again. Thomas had gone quiet but he was still shaking when James came back with George's keys.

“The car's out front. Everyone's cleared out. Do you want me to come with you?” He asked.

“No... Stay and help everyone else close. Then come back here and clean up after they leave. You're the only one I trust back here.” Thomas' voice was cracked and shaky but James nodded and held the office door open.

“Call me when you know if he'll be alright.” Thomas nodded and left, Alex and George on his heals.

“I'll drive. You stay in the back with him. Alex, you sit up front.” Alex flinched at George's tone and waited for Thomas to snap at him, but he just obeyed the order and slid John into the backseat carefully before closing the door and going to the other side, putting John's head in his lap and running his fingers through his hair.

“You're gonna be okay John... I've got you... Re-remember when we got Daisy and Rosco?” Alex's heart clenched while George pulled away from the curb. “They were just puppies John.” Thomas laughed a little through a sob. “Remember how Daisy would follow you around the house and how every time I tried to kiss you she would get between us and bark at me? She- she thought she needed to protect you.” Alex glanced over at George and saw him looking in the rear view mirror. John groaned and Alex's heart kicked back up.

“John?” He reached back, taking John's hand and almost flinching away when he felt how cold it was. “John can you hear us?”

“Come on _chaton._.. Open up those pretty eyes for me.” Thomas pleaded. “Come on baby. I know you're in there.” John's eyes stayed closed but he opened his mouth and Alex held his breath.

“I'm...” He paused to lick his lips then coughed harshly. More blood stained the sleeve of Thomas' shirt. “I'm sorry...” He whispered. Thomas bent over him and kissed his temple gently. George breathed a sigh of relief and turned his eyes back to the road. Alex kept his fingers locked with John's and stifled a sob when Thomas' hand closed around both of theirs.

“We've got you John... We've got you...”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y I KE S.  
> I'M SORRY.  
> I'M SORRY.  
> HE'S GONNA BE OKAY I PROMISE.  
> EVERYONE'S GONNA BE OKAY.
> 
> So yeah. That was kinda rough to write. And I was serious about that part in the first note. Right when I was writing the bit where everyone piled into George's car, With Or Without You (originally by U2, but this was the 2cellos cover) came on my Pandora and I cried. Like. Real tears on my face. It was awful.
> 
> Comments, kudos and bookmarks are always welcome, and so are messages to my Tumblr (KayKatastr0phe).
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	10. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gooooooooood evening folks. Pretty short chapter coming up but I think these next two chapters will be pretty nice.
> 
> Think
> 
> I can't guarantee anything.
> 
> Enjoy

XOXO

 

Alex stopped short at the front door of the hospital. George had helped Thomas get John out of the back seat and had gone in a head to alert the staff who rushed out to take John out of Thomas' arms immediately, but Alex was frozen just outside. He hated hospitals. Hated them. Wanted nothing to do with them. But John was in there. _His_ John was in there and he was sick and Alex needed to be at his side but _goddamn it_ he hated hospitals.

“Alex, come on. You're okay.” George put a hand on his shoulder and nudged him forward and down a hall where Thomas was filling in paperwork for John, talking with a nurse in hushed tones. Alex thought he saw him slip her something that looked like a few bills, but he dismissed it and went to sit in one of the chairs that were off to the side. Already he could feel his back protesting and he tried to stand up. Those chairs were always less comfortable than they looked, and he wasn't about to spend god knows how many more hours of his life waiting on news of a loved one in one of those chairs. Thomas eased him back down when he started pacing though.

“Is he going to be okay?” It felt wrong to speak above a whisper here. Especially at this hour. He remembered waiting to hear if his abuela was alright in this very waiting room at this time of night and glaring daggers at the family in the corner that were just kept talking and talking as if people weren't fighting for their lives on the other side of the door.

“I think so.” Thomas sighed, leaning back in his chair and groaning when his back popped. “Deep breaths Alex. We're going to be okay.” Alex laced his fingers with Thomas' and tried to take a deep breath but nearly choked on the antiseptic smell in the air. It was sickening. He pulled the collar of his shirt up over his nose and sighed. It smelled like John. He had worn it a few days before and even after going through the wash, the smell of his cologne clung to the fabric stubbornly. “Are you okay?” Thomas squeezed his hand and he nodded.

“Don't like the smell here...” He muttered. “Too many bad memories.” His ribs stung a little and he thought of Lafayette, wondered if he had come here tonight to get his own ribs looked at. There wasn't much they could do for a broken rib, but it always helped to know in case you needed to avoid strenuous activity.

“I know... Me neither.” Thomas ran his thumb over the back of Alex's knuckles, his eyes fixed on the TV on the other side of the room, following the subtitles on a rerun of Friends, the volume down too low to hear anything but faint audience laughter every now and then. Alex watched for a while, then started looking around for a clock. No luck. He dug around in his pocket for his phone and checked the time. Three AM. He checked on his cats in Neko Atsume, closed the app, and put the phone back in his pocket.

What felt like an eternity later he pulled his phone out again and almost threw it against the opposite wall. Ten after three. Time never passed right in hospitals. Alex hunched forward and rested his head in one hand and Thomas squeezed the other.

“You two want anything to drink?” Alex and Thomas looked up together, George was still there, flicking through the bills in his wallet. “There's a vending machine down the hall.”

“You don't have to stick around.” Thomas sighed. He sounded exhausted. “Thank you for driving us here.”

“It's no trouble.” George insisted. “Water?”

“Please...”

“One for me too if you don't mind.” Alex piped up softly.

“Not a problem.” George's hand lingered just a second too long on his shoulder and Alex shuddered, leaning in against Thomas.

“Mr. Jefferson?” Thomas jumped to his feet.

“Is he okay?”

“He'll be fine, but I think you should keep a close eye on him for a while. Maybe have him go talk to someone...”

“John's not suicidal.” Alex snapped, his hands clenched in tight fists over his knees. Thomas glanced over his shoulder at him and the doctor twisted her hands nervously.

“Alex...”

“He's not.”

“Can we see him?” Thomas turned back to the doctor.

“You can but he's sleeping so try not to disturb him.”

“Alex you go on ahead. I'll wait here for George. What room is he in?”

“215.”

“I'll be up in a bit.” Thomas leaned down and gave Alex a quick kiss on the cheek before leaning in to his ear. “Pull up the collar of your shirt.” He whispered. He heard Alex swallow nervously.

“Sorry.” He whispered back, doing as he was told. Thomas sighed and gave him another quick kiss before he followed the doctor away. He pulled his phone out as he sat back down, sending a quick text to James.

 

_To J. Madison_ : He's okay. Sleeping now.  
_From J. Madison_ : What are you going to do about Washington? He saw a lot tonight Tommy.  
_To J. Madison_ : Don't worry about it. He wont say anything. He's too smart for that.

 

“Where's Alexander?” Thomas looked up and locked his phone when George came back and handed him a water bottle.

“He went to John's room with the doctor. Look, George... I know we've had our differences lately, but I need you to do me a favor.”

“What do you need?” George was eying him warily.

“I need you to take Alex home. He's not good in hospitals. He wont sleep if he stays here. You can take him to your place and or I'll give you my address and you can take him there just... I need you to keep an eye on him.”

“What are you trying to get me to do here?” George raised an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing. I swear. I just need to know that both of them are okay and right now you're the only one Alex is going to trust. Please.” He tapped his fingers impatiently on his knee while George stared down at him.

“Alright. I've still got a guest room set up, I'll take him to my place. I'll make sure he eats something too.”

“Thank you.” Thomas stood and clapped George on the shoulder. “They're in room 215.”

…

 

“John... I'm so sorry John... I should have been there. I shouldn't have let Thomas leave you alone...” Alex hunched over and rested his forehead on John's arm, keeping his fingers locked with his gently.

“Mr. Hamilton?”

“Yes.” He sat up and wiped at his eyes quickly. “Yeah that's me. Is John going to be okay?”

“He'll be just fine in a couple of days.” John's doctor smiled at him and his heart twisted into a knot. She looked like Eliza, and he missed Eliza... “Are you the same Alexander Hamilton that wrote the President's farewell address a few years back?”

“Y-Yeah? That was me.”

“You're a very gifted writer.”

“Thank you.” He smiled a little.

“Think you'll ever go back into politics?” She asked, pulling up a chair.

“I've thought about it. Thought about running for office someday. But... I can't go back to DC. I couldn't leave John and Thomas.” Alex fiddled with the collar of his shirt again, making sure the bruises were covered.

“Tell me a little more about John.” She prompted.

“What do you want to know?” He sat back and folded his hands in his lap.

“Does he have a history of drug use?” He tried not to look startled.

“Not that I know of. Not really. He smokes pot now and then, but that's all I know.”

“Has he ever tried to hurt himself? Any suicide attempts?” He squeezed his hands together a little tighter, clenching his jaw.

“Not since he was a teenager. He told me he tried once or twice. His dad...He was an ass. He was in the closet until he was nineteen and he fought off a bought of depression about it.” Alex bit his lip nervously.

“Do the two of you ever fight?”

“Excuse me?”

“The bruise on your cheek. Is that from John?”

“God no!”

“What about Thomas?”

“What about me?” Thomas' hand laid gently across his shoulder and he gave him a comforting squeeze.

“This is from no one. Some ass in a bar.” Alex explained coolly. “Some people don't exactly agree with my life-style.”

“I'm sorry. It's procedure to ask these-”

“Only if I'm your patient. Everything is fine.” He snapped.

“Alex, come here for a second. I need to talk to you about something.” Thomas nudged him over towards the door gently. “What was that all about?”

“It was nothing. What's up?”

“I want you to go home with George tonight.” Thomas kept his voice low and held Alex's hand gently.

“Thomas- what?” Alex blinked back tears. “No. No, Thomas I'm not going anywhere- Y-you promised I-I wouldn't have to...”

“Shh. Baby... It's alright. It's not like that okay? It's not like that. I just need to make sure you get some sleep. I know you don't like it here. You wont sleep if you stay here.”

“I don't want to leave John...”

“I know. But I'll be with him all night, okay? I promise. Please just go. Get something to eat. Get some sleep.” Thomas cupped his jaw gently. “For me, okay? And for John. He'd be worried about you too.”

“Okay...” Alex looked down at his feet until Thomas tilted his chin up.

“Don't worry sweetheart. I'll take good care of John. You know I will. And George is going to take good care of you. You trust him, right?” His thumb pressed a little harder into the bruise on his cheek and he gasped.

“Of- of course I trust him.” Alex stammered. Thomas smiled and trailed his hand down to the side of his neck.

“Besides...” His voice lowered more and Alex shivered. “Can't have anyone asking about this.” He squeezed the bruise from his belt. “I suppose you could tell everyone that you're just a kinky little slut.” Alex let out a choked off little gasp. “But you wouldn't like that would you?”

“No sir...” He whispered back.

“Good boy.” Thomas tilted his chin up for a kiss and he melted into it. “Go say goodbye to John.” Alex tugged at the collar of his shirt a little. His knees felt weak when he tried to walk back over to John's bed, but he didn't say anything.

“I love you...” He whispered, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I love you so much John. Hang in there for me, okay? I'll see you tomorrow.” He gave Thomas another hug and a kiss, told him he loved him, and left the room.

“Take care of him.” He heard Thomas tell George. He sounded so concerned and Alex's heart broke.

“Come on.” George put a gentle hand on his shoulder and lead him out of the building slowly. “Are you alright?” Alex nodded, then paused and shook his head.

“No...” He choked.

“Let's get you home okay?”

 

The last time George had, had Alexander in his car, it had been a blessing. He'd seen what Lafayette had called 'the old Alex'. The _real_ Alex. But now... Now it was totally silent except for the rain that splashed on the windshield. He asked if Alex wanted to stop for something to eat but he just shook his head, still staring out the window. George sighed and just kept driving. He was tempted to turn on the radio, just to break the silence that Alexander seemed so intent on keeping, but he forced himself to leave it be.

Alex headed straight for the living room once the front door was open and George watched him sit heavily on the couch, his head in his hands. He went to the kitchen and dug around in the cabinets for something, _anything_ , that Alex might agree to eat, settling on a bag of pretzels and a glass of water before joining him on the couch.

“Hey.” He put a hand on his back.

“Hi...” He always flinched away with how cold Alex's voice was.

“Alex, sweetheart... talk to me.” He urged gently. “Where's the boy that was yelling about politics the other day?”

“He's back in the hospital with John...” His voice wavered. “I'm scared.” George felt him shudder when a sob tore out of his throat. “Why... Why is this happening...? How could he do this!?”

“Alexander...”

“What the fuck was he thinking!?” He screamed, his head still in his hands.

“It's okay...”

“No!” Now George did pull his hand away and Alex jumped to his feet. “It's not okay!” He sobbed against his chest when he pulled him in for a tight hug. “It's not... It's not okay...” George hushed him gently, running his fingers through his hair. He was thrown for a loop when Alex leaned up, standing on his toes, to kiss him.

“Alex... Stop.” He pushed him away gently but left his hand planted firmly on his shoulders.

“Help me...” Alex whimpered. “Please... George... Just help me forget what happened tonight...”

“You're exhausted. You just need to go to bed. John and Thomas will want to see you in the morning.” George almost didn't catch his next words with how quietly he whispered them.

“I don't care...” George's heart broke when fresh tears rolled down Alex's cheeks. “How can I even know what they want anymore!?” He shouted. “They're lying to me! John almost _died_ and they _still_ won't tell me the truth! Please... George, please just... Fuck me... Kiss me... Anything to make me forget this...”

“Alexander don't do this...” George wiped at his tears gently. “Don't make me say no to you... I don't want to say no to you.”

“Then don't.” He begged.

“Come to bed...” George sighed. “You can stay in a spare room, or you can stay in my room with me if you want, but you're going to sleep and that's all. Do you understand?” Alex's gaze flicked down to the floor and he hung his head.

“Yes sir...” He whispered.

“Second drawer down on the left. Grab a pair of sweatpants and get changed.” Alex kept his eyes down as he walked to the bedroom and George kicked himself for having spoken to him the way he had. He was angry with himself until the cold dread of reality set it.

' _I'm no better than Thomas..._ ' He thought, dragging a hand down his face and sighing. ' _Ordering him around like that..._ ' More concerning than the realization of what he said was the way he tried to rationalize it. ' _He's distraught. He needs to be told what to do or he wont do it._ ' He pushed everything back and went to open the bedroom door. Alex was already curled up on his side under the covers. He didn't even move when George got in behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him up close to his chest.

“I can't help you if you don't leave him... You can come stay with me, I'll protect you, John too. Just leave Thomas... Please...” He ran his fingers through Alex's hair and kissed his shoulder when he started shaking.

“I can't...”

“Alexander... You're in pain... He hurts you. Both of you. And you just said so yourself, that he's lying to you. How can you stay with him...”

“I still love him...”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You heard it from the doctor folks, John's going to be fine. Alex on the other hand... He's not doin' so hot. And he's about to make some very bad decisions that will have very serious consequences.
> 
> Comments, kudos and bookmarks never fail to brighten my day and they make the long nights I spend writing these worth it.
> 
> Be safe out there.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	11. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember those bad decisions I said that Alex was going to make at the end of the last chapter? Well that's happening now.
> 
> Enjoy.

XOXO

 

John woke up and his chest seized up with panic and dread. His back was stiff and his arm itched where an IV had been put in. He reached up with his free hand and pulled the oxygen mask away from his face, gasping and almost choking on the smell of hospital.

“John?” Thomas was at his side in an instant, petting his hair and holding his hand. “You're okay baby. I've got you. Do you know why you're here?”

“No...” John croaked. His throat was sore and a headache was pounding just behind his eyes. “Can you turn the lights down? Please?”

“Of course.” Thomas crossed the room and dimmed the lights, then went to the other wall to pull the blinds closed before sitting down next to John's bed. “Do you want to know what happened?” John nodded. “You took the old pain killers from when you dislocated your shoulder. All of them... There were at least fifteen pills in that bottle. And you drank half a bottle of thirty year old scotch to chase them...” Thomas had his hand clutched between both of his own.

“Tom... I-”

“What the hell were you thinking John? This is why I told you I wanted to be around whenever you took anything...” He was just staring at his hands. “John you almost died... I almost lost you. _Alex_ almost lost you! Can you imagine what would have happened if you hadn't locked that door and _he_ had been the one to find you laying there on death's doorstep!? What if I hadn't been there John!? I would have lost both of you last night!” Thomas' voice had risen to a shout, but he hadn't looked up and John was shaking, tears trailing down his freckled cheeks.

“I'm sorry... Thomas I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I just-”

“That's right. You weren't.” Thomas snapped, cutting him off.

“Thomas please don't be mad at me...”

“I'm not...” Thomas sighed and finally looked up into John's eyes. “I'm not mad... I was scared. I thought I was going to lose you...”

“I'm sorry... Where's Alex?” John finally got a good look at the room and their boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

“Washington took him home so he could get some sleep. You know how he is with hospitals.” John nodded.

“Come up here.” He rasped out. God his throat hurt... “Lay with me for a little while?” Thomas moved him to one side of the bed gently and climbed up, holding him close to his chest until both of them fell asleep again.

It was a few more hours before a doctor came to wake them up again.

“Is there anyway I could take a shower before we leave?” John yawned, stretching his arms up over his head once his IV had been removed. “Just a super quick one. I smell like vomit and hospital.” He complained.

“Sure thing. We'll keep someone just outside the door in case you need anything.” His doctor showed him to the shower, letting him lean on her arm while he got the feeling back in his legs.

“I'll give George a call and let him know we'll be leaving soon.” Thomas kissed his cheek and left the room.

…

George woke up to the sound of his phone ringing and groaned, rolling over to find it, Alex still curled up against his chest.

“Hello?”

“ _George. It's Thomas. I'll be around in a couple hours to get Alex. John just woke up and they want to check him out a little more before we go._ ”

“How is he?” George rubbed his eyes and spared a glance over at the clock on the bedside table. It was almost noon.

“ _Still tired. And his throat hurts, but he's up and walking. He'll be alright. How did Alex hold up last night?_ ”

“Not too bad.” George lied. “He's still asleep. I put him up in the guest room but he must have come down while I was sleeping because he's right here.” Thomas laughed a little on the other end of the line.

“ _He doesn't like to sleep alone._ ” He mused. “ _No need to wake him yet. We'll be a couple hours._ ”

“I'll let him know when he wakes up.” George assured him, the guilt of his lie eating at him along with burning dread.

“Was that Thomas?” Alexander didn't open his eyes, just cuddled in closer.

“Yeah. He said he'd be by with John in a couple hours.” George made a move to get up but Alex just hugged him tighter.

“Stay...” He pleaded in a small whisper. “Just for a little longer.”

“Alright.” George kissed the top of his head and ran a hand up and down his back slowly. Alex tilted his head back to look up at him, big brown eyes blinking slowly before he licked his lips and pressed in closer for a kiss. George thought about pulling away but decided against it. Alex's lips were barely touching his and he felt more relaxed in his arms than he had the whole night, he wasn't going to deny him this little bit of comfort, as _uncomfortable_ as it had become for him. His heart started racing when Alex pressed up against him and deepened the kiss. He pushed at Alex's shoulder but he just clung tighter with his hand at the back of George's neck.

“Please...” Alex's breath was hot against his lips. “Please don't stop. Don't make me leave...”

“Alex, you're making a mistake. You don't want this. Not really.” George tried to sound stern, but with Alex's nimble fingers wrapped around his half hard cock, it was impossible.

“But you _do_. Please George... You know I'll be good. I can be so good for you sir.”

“ _Shit_.” He groaned, reaching to grab Alex's wrist. “Stop. Think about John.”

“Don't say no to this. Please. I need this... I need to feel loved.”

“Alexander don't say that... John loves you. Thomas loves you.” His stomach rolled with the words. He didn't believe them. But Alex did... “Don't do this to them.” There were frustrated tears in Alex's eyes.

“I'll be good. I'll do anything you want. I won't tell them. Please...” Alex pressed his face against George's neck and kissed him softly. “Please... I'll be so good for you. I'll do everything you say.” George grit his teeth when Alex nibbled on his shoulder. He was begging so sweetly and every little whisper and soft moan went straight to his cock. God he was weak for this boy... And Alex _knew_ it. He knew George would cave.

“Alexander.” He tried one more time to get his attention, getting ready to either tell him to stop or get up and leave but his next words sealed his fate.

“Please daddy?” Alex whined and George almost came in his hand, his cock twitching. “Is that it? I just needed to call you _daddy_?”

“Jesus...” George grabbed Alex's hips and pushed him onto his back easily. “Is that really what you want?” Alex looked up at him with a smirk on his lips and fire in his eyes, and George knew that this boy had him wrapped around his finger. And he loved it.

“Yes sir. Please. I swear I wont tell John and Thomas. It'll be our little secret.” There were so many things George wanted to say, but he wouldn't dare say them, not when he had heard Thomas say the exact same things. Instead he just spread Alex's legs and settled between his thighs, pushing his hips up spreading his ass before leaning in and licking a thick wet stripe over his hole. Alex squirmed under him and moaning out encouragement and small thank yous, and gasping when he pushed one finger in all the way to the knuckle.

“More...” He breathed out. “Please.”

“Be patient.” George pinched his thigh as he worked in a second finger. “Top drawer.” He motioned to the side of the bed and Alex turned a little, grabbing the lube with shaking hands.

George stayed between Alex's thighs, nipping at the soft skin, and kissing his belly while he worked him open on his fingers, doing his damnedest not to look up into his eyes, trying to ignore the part of him that was screaming at him to stop, saying that this was wrong. This was so, so wrong... But once he had his cock deep inside Alexander he stopped caring. He started with a slow pace, leaning in to kiss his ear and whispering quiet praises but Alex had other ideas, and wrapped one leg up over George's waist.

“Harder.” He begged. And George obliged.

' _This is wrong._ ' He told himself again. ' _God dammit this is so fucking wrong._ ' But it feels so damn good and Alex is breathless under him and-

“Yes- _god_ , yes, daddy! Harder!” And George stops thinking. He's coming just a few moments later, Alex not far behind. He doesn't say anything for a long few minutes, just laying there, holding Alex while he cries and kissing his forehead gently.

“I'm sorry...” Alex sobbed against his chest. “I'm sorry...”

“It's okay...” George wrapped his arms tighter around Alex and ran his fingers through his hair. “You're okay...” To his credit, Alex was up in just a few minutes, wiping at his eyes and trying to smile, even though his knees were shaking.

“I- I need a shower.” He looked down at his feet and George could see the conflict in his eyes. It broke his heart.

“Bathroom's that way.” He pointed in the general direction of the door. “Just across the hall.”

“Thanks.” Alex didn't meet his eyes, hell, he barely looked up while he crossed the room. George sighed when his bedroom door closed and ran a hand over his face.

“What the fuck were you thinking George...?” He muttered to the ceiling before rolling out of bed and going over to his own bathroom, running his shower cold.

 

On the other side of the hall, Alex's shower was scalding, and he shook with the effort of holding himself up, leaning on the wall for support. Everything hit him at once. The fear for John. The guilt of what he'd done... The panic and dread as he thought about what Thomas would do when he found out. It wasn't a matter of _if_ it was a _when_. Thomas always found out. He _always_ knew. He felt bile rising in his throat and fought to swallow it back, covering his mouth to hold back a broken sob.

“How could I do this...?” His voice shook worse than his knees.

He took his time, not for enjoyment, but to make sure there wasn't a trace of George on, or in, him. He shivered when he stepped out, the cool air in the bathroom a stark contrast to the water. He ran the brush that had been on the counter through his hair, trying not to think of why it had been there. Trying to give his morning a little bit of normalcy. Trying not to look at himself in the mirror too long when he pulled his hair back into a ponytail. _Trying_ to ignore the bruise on his cheek, the bruises on his throat and sides. Trying to ignore his scars...

Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks as he sat on the floor, his back against the wall, and his knees pulled up to his chest. Alex heard the bedroom door open and knew that George could hear him crying. There was a pause just outside the door, then a defeated sigh and quiet footsteps heading away. He tried to calm down, tried to name as many things in the bathroom as he could, giving up after 'rug, sink, mirror' and 'whore' when he saw his reflection. There was a soft knock on the door and he looked up.

“Yeah?” His voice cracked.

“Alex, I made coffee, and I'm going to start breakfast if you want anything.” George's voice was soft, slow and careful, like he was trying to calm a spooked animal. “Take... Take as much time as you need, okay?”

“Thanks...” He didn't take much longer, just enough time to get his breathing evened out, wash his face and get dressed. George was leaning against the counter, one mug in his hands another right beside him.

“A little bit of cream, a lot of sugar, right?” He smiled softly, and Alex smiled back.

“Thank you.”

“It's no problem. I know you don't eat in the morning, but will you at least have some toast? You didn't eat last night.”

“Yeah. I could do that.” Alex took his coffee from George and took up the spot on the counter that he had occupied earlier that week. A mouthful of coffee to swallow the guilt...

“Did you bring your medication with you?” He wished that George didn't sound so casual. It was like nothing had happened.

“Yeah. I always keep it on me. Never know when I wont be going home...” He hated how cold the words came out when he saw a muscle in George's jaw twitch. “When did Thomas say he'd be here?” He changed the subject, looking down into his coffee.

“A couple hours. You've got time to relax and have breakfast.”

“Did he say how John was feeling?”

“Well he's up and walking. Said he was still tired, but that's pretty normal, given what happened.” Alex nodded an agreement. He forced a smile when George handed him his toast and his medication. He turned the bottle between his fingers slowly, staring at it while the pills clicked against the plastic.

“Alex?” He looked up sharply when George put a hand on his knee. “Are you okay?” He nodded. Another lie...

“Yeah... Just thinking.”

They ate in silence, moving to the living room and turning on the TV when they were done. Alex leaned his head against George's shoulder and sighed, frowning down into his coffee.

“I'm sorry...”

“For what?” George rubbed his knee gently.

“For... that.” Alex gestured vaguely toward the bedroom. “I shouldn't have-”

“ _I_ shouldn't have.” George cut him off. “Alex, you're vulnerable right now. I know you are, I can see it in your eyes. You don't know what to do and you don't know who to turn to for what you need.” He was right... “I want to help you, but I can't do this for you again... Not until Thomas is out of the picture.”

“I understand...” Alex sighed. “I'm still sorry... I shouldn't have pushed you like that. It was pretty shitty of me. God... What would John and Thomas think of me?”

“If he finds out I'll take responsibility.” George wrapped a warm arm around Alex's shoulders. “Don't worry.” Alex shivered and dread prickled in his stomach.

“Please don't.” He whispered. “I don't want anything to happen to you...” His words hung in the air and George didn't say anything, so they just sat in silence, with only the TV to break it.

 

Thomas knew the way to George's house by heart. Years of cookouts with their families had ingrained the route in his brain, and it remained, even years later. He spared a glance at John, who was napping in the front seat and smiled a little. He was going to be okay. The fear that had gripped him all night had released it's hold and he could relax, at least for a minute.

“John. Hey. Wake up sweetheart.” He gave John's arm a gentle squeeze when he parked in Washington's driveway. “We're at George's to pick up Alex. Do you want to come in with me?”

“Yeah.” John groaned and stretched a little. “The doctor said to walk as much as I could.” Thomas offered his arm for John to lean on and lead the way up to the door, knocking quickly. George was there in an instant. He looked tired and worried, but Thomas ignored that.

“Is Alex up?”

“Yeah. He's in the kitchen. Come on in.” Thomas nodded his thanks and followed George in, John close to his side. “How are you feeling John?”

“I'm just fine Mr. Washington.” He answered, an often overlooked Southern drawl coloring his words.

“John?” Alex came around the corner and Thomas saw the moment he caught sight of John, his eyes lighting up and his shoulders slumping with relief. “Oh John.” He rushed forward and wrapped his arms tight around John's shoulders. Thomas smiled and stepped off to the side with Washington, watching them cry as they hugged.

“So he'll be alright?” George prompted, watching them as well, and Thomas didn't miss the glint of fondness in his eyes.

“Yeah. He'll need a couple days to rest up but after that he'll be good as new. And you said Alex did well?” George shrugged a little.

“As well as he could I assume. Like I said, he came to my room sometime in the night. I just figured he needed some comfort so I let him stay.” Thomas nodded slowly, waiting for more.

“Did he eat?”

“A little. I convinced him to have some toast, and he's had some coffee and took his meds too.”

“That's good. He didn't give you any... trouble, did he?” There it was. George clenched his jaw and his eyes darted from Alex to Thomas.

“None at all.”

“Wonderful. Thanks again for watching him.” He rejoined John and Alex, giving Alex a gentle kiss and putting a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

“Don't mention it. It's my pleasure.” His grip on Alex's shoulder must have tightened because he started squirming. “Have a lovely day you three. Get some rest John.”

“I will.” Thomas clenched his jaw when John smiled sweetly at Washington. “Thank you sir-” it felt like his teeth were going to crack, “-for taking care of Alex.”

“Don't mention it.” He said again, smiling. “Take care, Alexander.” His eyes lingered a second too long for Thomas' liking.

“Of course sir.” The look Alex shot George over his shoulder only fanned the rage burning in Thomas' stomach. He waited until he was on the freeway to pull out his phone, ignoring Alex when he scolded him.

 

George was in the middle of doing dishes after stripping the sheets off of his bed and throwing them in the wash when his phone chimed in his pocket. His heart stopped and his blood ran cold when he saw the message. Two words. That's all it was, but his throat felt tight with fear.

“Alex...”

 

_From T. Jefferson_ : I know.

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next- actions have consequences and with Thomas Jefferson in the mix, those consequences are going to be severe.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	12. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out...
> 
> Warnings for a lot of violence here.

XOXO

 

“Stay up here with John for a minute. I'll be right back.” Alex leaned into Thomas' touch, accepting the kiss on his cheek happily.

“Alright.” He smiled and helped John into bed. He was still a little shaky. Not as bad as he had been the night before, but bad enough for Alex to notice. Once John was in bed and under the covers Alex spoke up again. “John... What were you doing?” He asked. John looked down at his hands, folded in his lap and didn't answer. “John... Answer me... Please. I need to know... Were you trying to-”

“No!” John cut him off. “God no, Alexander! I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't leave you and Thomas alone like that.” He insisted.

“Then why!?” Alex hated the way his voice rose.

“I needed it okay!? Thomas moved my shit and I was desperate!” Alex reeled back when John shouted back at him. He was shaking, his eyes bright with anger.

“What are you talking about...?” Alex choked out.

“I'm tired Alex...” John sighed. “I don't want to talk about this right now.”

“No! John I need answers! You almost died and you're _still_ going to lie to me!?” He saw John set his jaw. “You and Thomas have been lying to me for years and now I need answers!” John got out of bed again, taking a couple steps away before turning back around and leaning in close.

“You want answers?” He hissed out. “I came out, my dad cut me off and I had to drop out of school. I was on the streets for a year before I met Thomas. I was already an addict by then- he kept it going. He would buy for me and I would do whatever he fucking wanted to get it. He hired me at the lounge when I told him I was a business and accounting major and he paid me in drugs. Whatever I wanted.” John was shaking. “We started sleeping together and I started to fall in love with him but I was still homeless. I never told him.”

“John...” Alex tried to touch his arm, blinking back tears.

“I'm not done.” John snapped, his voice wavering. He was crying too, his breaths coming in short ragged gasps.

“John stop... Y-You don't have to tell me anymore.” Alex insisted. “Please... Sit back down.”

“You wanted the truth Alexander! This is the truth!” John shouted. “Thomas found me out behind the lounge, too stoned to even stand up and freezing to death. He told me he loved me the first time that night...” A small smile crossed his face. “I moved in with him after that. All those times he sent you away. Every time he called me back to his office but not you- every single time was to get _you_ out of the way because I couldn't stand the thought if you knowing the truth about me!” John sobbed. “I couldn't stand the thoughts of how disgusted you would be... I- I didn't want you to leave me...”

“John...” Alex stood and wrapped his arms around John and pulled him close. “I-I would never leave you... My god, John, I love you more than anything in the world. I'm pissed. I'm hurt... I hate that you lied to me... But I could never hate _you_.” He whispered against his shoulder, kissing his cheek and crying.

“I'm sorry Alex... I'm so sorry... I never meant to hurt you...” John sniffled.

“Let's get you back in bed, okay?” Alex whispered guiding John back to bed and helping him lay down. “We'll talk more about it later if you want to...” He ran his fingers through John's hair slowly until he fell asleep again, then leaned down to kiss him softly and wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I love you...”

He stayed like that at John's side until Thomas came back to the bedroom.

“Alex.” He looked up and tried to read the look Thomas was giving him. He couldn't. “Come with me. We need to talk.”

“Okay.” Alex stood slowly, trying not to disturb John, and followed Thomas downstairs to the living room. He stayed on the other side of the room when he spoke again. “John told me everything...” He watched Thomas carefully.

“What?”

“The drugs, how you two really met... Everything.” Alex put his hands in his pockets, while Thomas crossed his arms over his chest.

“And.” He raised an eyebrow.

“And I'm hurt... Thomas how could you both hide this from me?” Alex didn't want to cry anymore, but even if he did, he didn't think he could. He'd cried enough for a lifetime in the last twenty four hours. “Why did you lie to me...? You could have told me...”

“You're going to lecture me about lying, Alexander?” Thomas' voice was cold.

“What are you talking about?” Alex took his hands out of his pockets and backed up a pace and Thomas matched him. “Thomas what are you talking about?”

“Did you have a good morning?”

“What- I- It was alright. George made me breakfast. Helped me calm down when I started panicking about John. Made sure I took my medicine.”

“Nothing else?” Thomas took another step forward and he took another step back. “Just... A lovely domestic morning with _daddy_?” Alex turned to run but Thomas was faster. He would always be faster. He felt his shoulder pop when Thomas grabbed his arm and a scream caught in his throat. “You little _fuck_! You fucking _whore_!” Alex kicked out and dug his fingers into the carpet, trying to crawl away when Thomas pinned him to the floor.

“Let go!” He squirmed, trying to free his arms. “Thomas let me go!”

“You piece of shit!” The first punch to his gut knocked the air out of Alex's lungs and he curled in on himself, gasping until Thomas rolled him over onto his back and pinned him again, straddling his chest with his knees digging into his arms to hold them down. “You ungrateful, worthless, fucking slut! I heard you!”

“What!? Thomas what are you-”

“I fucking heard you, Alexander.” Thomas leaned over him, his hands on either side of his head and his face inches away. “I heard you begging like a bitch for Washington to fuck you. 'Yes sir' 'please' 'I won't tell John and Thomas'. ' _It'll be our little secret_ '. Sound familiar?”

“Thomas no- it's not what you-”

“It's not what I think? Is that what you were going to say? It's not what I think?” Thomas laughed, and Alex thought he was going to be sick. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe from the weight of him on his chest. “Let me guess. You're going to tell me it was his idea, right?” Alex stammered under him. “Come on baby, speak up. You had no problem talking this morning. Or did he fuck your throat too?”

“No- he didn't- we didn't-” He gasped, trying to get a decent breath in.

“Oh yes you did sweetheart.” Thomas sneered down at him. “Oh yes you _did_.” One hand curled around his throat and the other dug through his back pocket. “I should have done this before.” He huffed, pulling out a pocket knife and tossing and catching it a few times before tapping it against Alex's cheek. “But I didn't want to risk your _daddy_ calling the fucking cops on me. Because let's face it. He's an old man now but he's still bigger than me. And that military background? Damn.” He laughed. “He'd have me on my ass before you could blink pretty boy.”

“-Tom-”

“Shut the fuck up and listen to me very carefully Alexander.” He flicked out the blade and pressed it against Alex's lips. “And if you say one more word I'm cutting your fucking tongue out. Do you understand me?” Alex nodded, he was shaking. Apparently he still had tears left. They dampened the hair at his temples and Thomas let go of his throat for just a second to backhand him. “You. Are on very, _very_ thin ice with me. You're going to stay here. You're not going to leave this house unless I say so. Do you understand? Nod.” Alex nodded franticly, his vision was starting to blur around the edges. “You're going to stay in your room. Not our room. _Your_ room. Do you understand? Nod.” Thomas tightened his grip and Alex tried to nod. He gasped, his fingers digging into Thomas' thighs. He was starting to panic. “You want to breathe? You want to talk?” Alex tried nodding again and the pressure lifted. He gasped in a full breath and coughed. “Talk.” He ordered.

“Thomas- please...” He coughed. “I'm sorry... I'm sorry. Please stop.” Thomas sighed and leaned back.

“You're a piece of work, you know that right?” He shook his head and laughed. “You really are something else.” He hooked the knife into the front of Alex's shirt and ripped it easily.

“It didn't mean anything- I promise...” He whispered.

“Oh sweetie. I know. I know it didn't mean anything.” Thomas cooed. “Not to him it didn't.” He pressed the tip of his knife into the skin over Alex's collarbone and pulled a thin line. “You know you don't mean a thing to him don't you?” Alex whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut. “You never meant anything to any of them.”

“T-Thomas...”

“You know what you are, Alexander?” Thomas ripped his shirt open and dug the tip of the knife into his chest, drawing out a “T”. “Do you know what they think of you?”

“Stop-” Alex gasped.

“Don't move or you're going to make it worse.” Thomas warned. “They don't care about you. Not a single one of them care. Not even Washington. You're just a hole to them, don't you understand that?” Alex sobbed, choking back a scream when the knife dug back into his skin. “Did you really think he loved you?”

“I-”

“No one will ever love you like we do.” Alex pulled in a breath before Thomas' fingers closed around his throat again. “No one else will ever want you.” Thomas leaned in to kiss his cheek and Alex tried to jerk away. He dropped the knife and wrapped his other hand around his throat.

“-Please...” He gasped, his nails digging into Thomas' thighs through his jeans. “Th- Thomas... I can't-”

“You can't what baby? You can't breathe? That's too bad isn't it. Poor love.” Thomas pulled Alex up for a kiss and this time he didn't fight back. His arms were numb from the weight of the other man kneeling on them and his head was swimming, black threatening to overtake his vision. Thomas' phone rang on the other side of the room and he stood slowly, letting go of Alex's neck.

“Thank you...” He gasped, breathing deep while Thomas crossed the room and answered the call.

“Hey James. Yeah, we're home now. John's resting. Alex and I are spending a little... quality time together.” His smile was sickeningly sweet.

“James...” Alex croaked out. Thomas shot him a look before coming back over and nudging his cheek with his foot, glaring down at him, an unspoken threat.

“Feel free to come over if you want. I don't know if we'll be at the lounge tonight.” He put his foot over Alex's throat and pressed down. “There's a few things I want to go over with you and Charles. New security measures I want to put in place.” Alex's eyes widened and he tried to push Thomas away.

“No-” He choked. “No-!”

“Hold on a sec Jemmy.” Thomas muted his phone and dropped back down to pin Alex again. “I told you to keep your mouth shut.” He snarled, putting his hand over Alex's mouth. “Not another sound out of you. Do you understand?” Alex whimpered but nodded. “Good.” Thomas put the phone back to his ear. “Sorry. Come over whenever you get a chance. Bring Charles and Mulligan with you.” Alex squeezed his eyes shut and bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood to keep himself quiet. There was no way Thomas would let Hercules see him like this... He wouldn't. “Go get yourself cleaned up. We're having company.”

 

…

 

“That is the third time your phone has gone off.” Hercules cracked one eye open and looked down at Lafayette who was leaning against his shoulder. “Are you going to answer it?”

“It's Madison.” Hercules grumbled closing his eyes and tipping his head back again. “I'm not answering for anyone at associated with work right now.” The ringing stopped and he sighed, willing himself to fall asleep. He hadn't slept the night before, too worried about Lafayette to let himself relax, but now that he had gone and seen a doctor and had been given the all clear, he wanted to catch up. He groaned when his phone started ringing again.

“ _Mon Dieu._ ” Lafayette huffed and leaned across him to grab his phone and answered it himself. “Hello James. _Non,_ I'm sorry. Hercules ran out for something and forgot his phone. What do you need?” Hercules watched Lafayette with a fond smile. “Really? That's strange. Wait- what about John?” His eyes went wide and he sat straight up. “Is he alright? My god... Yes... Yes I'll tell him when he comes back. I'll have him call you. Thank you.”

“What happened?”

“Thomas wants you, James and Charles at his house in an hour. Something about wanting to implement new safety measures.” Lafayette paused and tapped his fingers on his knee. “John went to the hospital last night...”

“What happened to him?” Hercules sat up and turned to face Lafayette better.

“He said he... He took some pills, pain killers, from that time he dislocated his shoulder. Quite a few of them... He could have died...”

“Holy fuck... What about Alex? Is he okay? He had to have been terrified.”

“He didn't say...” Hercules threaded his fingers together with Lafayette's. “If you go, I'm coming with you.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Absolutely not. I'm not letting you anywhere near that man. Not after what he did.” He touched his fiancé's cheek gently.

“I have to see John and Alexander. I'm coming with you.” Lafayette stood and headed for the front door.

“We're going now?”

“ _Le plus t_ _ô_ _t je sais qu'ils sont bien, le mieux_...” Hercules sighed and heaved himself off of the couch to follow him.

“I really don't want you there...” He pulled Lafayette to his chest and kissed the top of his head.

“We can't be afraid of him. That's what he wants. He wants us to fear him like John and Alex do. If that happens, he wins. And I'll be damned if I let that man frighten me away from my friends.” There was fire in his eyes and Hercules smiled, leaning down to kiss him. “Hercules...”

“Yes?”

“ _Je t'aime_...”

“I love you too, Lafayette.” Hercules pulled him in closer, tucking his face in against his shoulder. “I love you too...”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just getting worse from here on out.  
> I can't tell you more than that.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex  
> Translations:  
> Le plus tôt je sais qu'ils sont bien, le mieux. = The sooner I know they are alright, the better.


	13. A Plea for Help

UPDATE::

I've made it home safe and sound thanks to the generous donations I received from you all. Thank you so so much, it really, truly means the world to me to have readers and followers that care so much about me and my well-being. Thank you for spreading the word if you couldn't donate (times are tough, I totally get that)

Regular updates will be resuming shortly. Thanks for sticking with me guys.

I Love You.  
Alex

 

Hello readers,

If you follow me on Tumblr you'll know that I'm on vacation visiting my boyfriend and his family, and you may have heard that I was robbed at a bus station. I'm trying to raise enough money to at least get me a bus ticket home, maybe a bit extra to keep me from being a burden the rest of the time I'm here.

I really do hate to bug y'all with this but if you have anything at all to spare, please please please head on over to my donation page PayPal.me/KaylynT and toss a couple dollars my way. I will love you forever and ever and ever.

Thanks so much for your time, I'll get the next update up as soon as I can.

Much Love,

Alex


	14. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So remember the rape/non-con tag?
> 
> Yeah... That's happening now.  
> There's a break in the text and an 'x' a couple paragraphs before it starts, so if you're not comfortable with it, feel free to just skim past that until you see the next text break and 'x'.

XOXO

 

Alex stared at himself in the mirror. He didn't even recognize his own reflection... He skimmed over old scars and both fresh and fading bruises with shaking fingers and held a wet washcloth to his chest, trying to stop the bleeding. A breath hissed through his teeth when he pulled the washcloth away to get a better look at the cuts. They weren't too deep. He'd had worse. He sighed and pulled open the medicine cabinet, grabbing a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and a few cotton balls. It was a familiar routine. Wash. Sterilize. Bandage. Repeat twice a day.

He used his ruined shirt to wipe up the blood on the counter and tossed it in a grocery bag, along with the bloody washcloth and cotton balls, then pulled on a fresh shirt and tied up the bag before leaving the bathroom. Thomas was waiting in the kitchen for him.

“Hey.” He rasped, smiling a little. “Can I get by?” He held up the bag and gestured at the cabinet where the trash can was.

“Of course doll.” Thomas stepped to the side and went to the fridge. “What do you want for dinner? We could do pasta. Do you think John would like that?” Alex tossed the bag and leaned on the counter, watching Thomas move around the kitchen.

“Yeah. I think he would. Want me to go ask?”

“Please. Actually, bring him down here. James, Charlie and Herc should be here soon. We can all have dinner together.” Thomas put a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Alex smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. “I'll be right back.” He made his way upstairs slowly, leaning on the banister for support. He knocked twice on the bedroom door and waited until he heard John sit up in bed to go in.

“Alex? That you?” He yawned.

“Yeah love. It's me.” Alex went and sat on the edge of the bed. “We're having company over for dinner. Thomas wanted me to get you.” His voice cracked and John frowned.

“Alex? Oh my god Alex what happened?” John tilted Alex's head back gently to look at his neck. “What is this?” He touched the bruises gently.

“I messed up John... I did something horrible... Thomas had to remind me-” he sighed “-he had to remind me that you two are the ones who love me. The only ones.” He leaned in to kiss John softly. “I'm fine.”

“I... I should have been there... I promised I wouldn't let him hit you...” John's hand rested on his chest, right over the bandage, and Alex flinched. “Alex?”

“Don't worry about it.” He went to stand up but John grabbed his shirt and stood with him.

“Let me look.” He insisted softly. Alex sighed and pulled his shirt up over his head. He winced when John pulled at the tape that was holding down the gauze. He looked away while John looked at the shallow cuts. A 'T' and a 'J'. “Why did he...?”

“To keep Washington away from me...” Alex squeezed his eyes shut and waited. He waited for John to get angry. He waited for John to hit him. Waited for John to yell. It was what he deserved... But he just leaned in and kissed just above the cuts.

“I'm sorry... This is my fault.”

“John no. No, baby. I did this. You didn't do anything.”

“If I wouldn't have gone to the hospital... We could have come home. None of this would have happened. I don't blame you. For... for whatever happened.” John held Alex's face in his hands and kissed him softly. “You didn't freak out on me about the... well, you know... I won't get mad about this. You... you aren't going to leave us for him... Are you?”

“No. I would never leave you. Not for anyone. And it won't happen again. I swear.” John nodded slowly. He didn't say anything and Alex's heart twisted in his chest. No reaction from John was worse than any beating Thomas could have given him. “Thomas is having James and Herc over for dinner. And...” His tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

“And?”

“Charlie.”

“As in Charles Lee?” Alex nodded and John's grip on his shoulders tightened. “I thought Thomas fired him after-”

“No. He never left...” He shook his head. “Come on. Thomas is waiting for us downstairs.” He let the subject drop and left the bedroom, John close behind him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder while they made their way into the kitchen. Madison was leaning on the island with a glass of wine already while Thomas moved around the kitchen with a slow practiced ease.

“How are you feeling John?” He asked with a smile.

“Alright I suppose.” He shrugged and grabbed Thomas' wrist. “Thomas can I talk to you for a minute?” He tugged Thomas along to the other side of the room, leaving Alex to talk with James. “Lee's coming over?”

“I want to start upping the security at the lounge. I need his input.”

“You're letting him back into our home? After what he did to Alex?”

“He never did anything to Alex.” Thomas hushed him. “Charles is a good friend.” John opened his mouth, about to tell him that he had seen it himself but Thomas just pulled him in close. “You're worried that he might leave, aren't you? You've seen the way he looks at Washington.”

“No. I'm not worried about that at all. So what if he looks at Washington? I look at him like that too. He's a handsome man.” John kissed Thomas' cheek. “That means nothing. He loves _you_. He loves _us_.” He smiled.

“Are you so sure?” His smile faltered.

“What do you mean? Of course I'm sure!” Thomas took out his phone and punched in the code to get to his voicemail, handing it over to John. He shook his head while he listened, each word, each breathy little moan from Alex tearing at him. Hearing him beg for George... Promising to keep it a secret...

“You see?”

“That- That doesn't mean anything. He was scared. He was hurt... He won't leave us...”

“That's right. He won't. He just needs to be put back in his place is all.” Thomas pulled John to his chest and kissed him sweetly. “I won't let him leave you darling.” He squeezed his hand, maybe a little tighter than he needed to, and they went back to Alex and James.

Alex tired to meet John's eye but he looked down and away every time, and it killed him. But he did what he did best. He put on the political smile and turned back to James. He wasn't a bad guy, just a little soft spoken, and Alex liked that. He was easy to talk to. He didn't register the door opening, or another person coming into the kitchen until Thomas greeted him. Alex turned and froze.

“Alexander.” He smiled. Alex couldn't breathe. “It's been such a long time. How are you my love?” He shivered when Charles ran a hand down his arm.

“Always a pleasure to see you Charles.” John stepped between them and tucked Alex behind him protectively. Charles just smiled and opened his mouth to say something, cutting off with an almost angry sigh when the door opened again, Hercules stepping in with Lafayette close behind.

“Lafayette.” Thomas crossed his arms and Lafayette mimicked his posture. “I wasn't expecting you.”

“I wanted to see how John was holding up.” Alex saw Thomas' jaw clench when Lafayette smiled. “I hope my presence isn't an inconvenience, Thomas.” His accent laid heavy on his name.

“No. Not at all. Make yourself at home.” Thomas, always the charming host, gestured to the living room.

“ _Merci_.” Alex and John followed Lafayette to the couch and he sat between the two of them casually and waited for Thomas to lead Hercules, James and Charles back to the kitchen before turning and fussing over John. “ _Qu'est-ce au nom de Dieu que vous pansiez_? _Hercules et moi_ _é_ _tions tellement inquiets pour toi John..._ ”

“ _Lafayette, Je vais bien... Je vais bien je le promets._ ” John squeezed Lafayette's hand gently and smiled at him. “Really. I'll be okay.” Alex spaced out, watching the hallway to the kitchen so intently and trying to catch as much of the conversation as he could. He didn't notice Lafayette putting a hand on his knee or saying his name until he raised his voice.

“ _Alexandre_!” Alex jumped and a gasp caught in his throat. “Are you alright?”

“I-I yeah. I'm fine.” He swallowed uncomfortably, rubbing his neck.

“What happened here?” Lafayette moved Alex's hand and tilted his chin up. “Did he do this?” He touched the still darkening bruises and Alex flinched away from him. He moved to stand but Alex grabbed his wrist and tugged him back down.

“Don't...” He whispered. “Please... It's nothing, I promise. Please don't say anything.”

“Oh _mon petit lion..._ What has he done to you...” Lafayette held Alex's face in his hands and leaned in to kiss his forehead. “ _Se d_ _é_ _fendre_...”

“I can't...” Alex looked down at his feet.

“Food's ready you three!” Thomas called from the kitchen. Alex was the first to his feet, John and Lafayette exchanging a few more words that he didn't bother to listen to before following him to the dining room. “Are you alright?” Thomas tucked him in close to his side and squeezed his shoulder. It wasn't an act of affection. It was tight and possessive and Alex felt suffocated.

“I'm fine...” He did what he did best. He lied and smiled through dinner. Thomas discussed new ways to up the security at the lounge and he and John nodded along with Hercules, James and Charles. He couldn't help but notice though, that Lafayette hadn't said more than a few words since they sat down, and the looks he kept shooting Thomas from across the table were anything but subtle. He gripped his fork a little tighter, leaned a little closer to Thomas, put his hand on his knee, did everything he could think of to keep Thomas' attention away from Lafayette. He was so focused on the task at hand, that he didn't notice the look that Charles was giving him from across the table. But John did. And Alex thought nothing of it when John's fingers laced with his own.

Dinner wrapped up without incident and Alex breathed a sigh of relief when everyone stood, praying they would leave quickly. His hopes were dashed, and his heart started beating double time though when Thomas invited their guests to sit and have a drink before they left for the lounge. Alex started to fidget, first just picking at his nails, then nibbling incessantly at a hangnail. Thomas noticed. Of course he would notice... He always did. Alex folded his hands quietly in his lap when Thomas put a hand on his knee. It was just a light touch, nothing to worry about, but when he started to fidget again, his grip tightened and he clenched his fists.

The longer they stayed, the worse Alex's anxiety got. Lafayette was glaring daggers at Thomas, Hercules had an arm around his shoulder and would squeeze him every now and then. He went to chew on his nails again and Thomas' grip on his knee tightened so he just sighed and picked at some nonexistent dirt under his nail. Every time he started to fidget, Thomas' grip would get tighter, until he gasped quietly and put his hands between his thighs to keep them still. He didn't miss the way Lafayette and Hercules' eyes shifted over to him and he looked down to avoid them.

“Alexander, go grab that bottle of bourbon on the top shelf in the cupboard. The one Mulligan got us for Christmas.” Thomas smiled at him and patted his knee gently. Alex managed to mutter out a soft 'okay' as he got up. He could feel eyes on him until he rounded the corner. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure he hadn't been followed and dug through the scrap drawer for a piece of paper and a pen as quietly as he could, scribbling down 'help us' and stuffing the paper into his pocket while he reached up for the bourbon.

When he came back their company was laughing, even Lafayette, though it did sound forced, and he smiled, handing off the bottle to Thomas and sitting on John's other side.

“We should be going soon.” Hercules slid his glass across the coffee table for Thomas to pour him a small measure of bourbon. “We open in a couple hours and I want to get there a little early tonight.”

“Fair enough.” Thomas nodded while Herc downed his shot. “We'll stop by later tonight, around closing time. There's some paperwork I need to pick up.”

“See you then.” Hercules shook Thomas' hand while Lafayette got up to hug Alex and John.

“Be safe...” Alex caught his quiet whisper to John, who nodded and offered up a little smile. He waited patiently with his hands in his pockets, gripping the note like a life-line and saying goodbye to James. When Lafayette pulled him into a hug, Alex slipped the scrap of paper into his pocket. He wasn't sure if his friend had noticed, but he knew Thomas hadn't, he was on the other side of the room now with his back turned, opening the door for James.

“Thanks for stopping by Gil...”

“It's never a problem _mon a_ _mour_.” Lafayette smiled. “Be safe.” Alex accepted the two kisses on his cheeks and forced himself to smile, praying that Lafayette wouldn't put his hands in his pockets until he was far away. He didn't want him to start anything now. Not with Charles here. He was Thomas' more ruthless right hand. Anything he was involved in wouldn't end well.

“I'll be back down in a minute.” Alex put a hand on Thomas' shoulder to get his attention after Hercules, Lafayette and James had left and relaxed a little when his boyfriend leaned down to kiss his forehead. He didn't notice Charles still sitting on the couch. He didn't notice the little nod Thomas gave him while he steered John into the kitchen. He didn't notice that he was being followed.

x

Alex tried not to jump when he came out of the bathroom just to see Charles leaning on the wall opposite him. He stepped to the side to let him pass but a hand closed on his shoulder and he swallowed back his fear as Charles forced him back into the bathroom. He said nothing, trying to put as much room between himself and the other man as he could, wondering briefly if he could slip by him and back out the door before Charles locked it and his stomach twisted into a knot.

“I hear you've been bad again Alexander.” Alex didn't say a word, he just backed up until he had pressed himself against the wall. “Come on now love, don't be like that.” Charles put a hand on his cheek.

“What do you want.” Alex forced the words out and kept his eyes fixed on a point over Charles' shoulder.

“You know. Thomas told me what you did this morning you little minx.”

“I didn't do anything.”

“Don't be like that. Don't lie to me. Thomas told me you needed another lesson.”

“No...” Alex trembled when Charles tangled his fingers in his hair. “I won't do it again... I promise...”

“I don't believe you sweetheart. And neither does Thomas. You said that _last time_ you acted out. Do you remember what happens when you act like a whore, Alexander?” Alex glued his eyes to his feet and a few stray tears found their way down his cheeks.

“I get treated like a whore, sir...” Charles chuckled and tugged on Alex's hair, tipping his head back and grinning down at him. Thomas hated it when he cried... But Charles loved it.

“That's right. On your knees. Now.” Alex hesitated and Charles tugged harder on his hair, forcing him down to his knees, the impact of bone on the hard tile rattling his frame. “Thomas said you'd gotten defiant again.” Alex kept his jaw clamped shut even after the order to open. “Either you listen to me now, or I can go ahead and pay Mr. Washington a visit.” Charles squeezed his jaw. “And I'm sure you don't want that. Not after what happened to Mr. Burr.”

“No sir...” Alex choked out.

' _Don't think about Aaron... don't think about Aaron... don't think about Aaron..._ ' He let Charles pry his mouth open and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to be a part of this... He could ignore this. He could deal with Charles. He had before, and if Thomas had any say in it- he would have to deal with him again. He could ignore him until his cock hit the back of his throat and he gaged.

“Stay.” Alex choked and tried to pull back but one of Charles' hands was steady at the back of his neck, holding him in place, and he used the other to pinch his nose shut, cutting off any air. “Good boy.” The praise made Alex feel sick. Charles had the same slow southern lilt to his voice that John had when he was drunk or tired... “That's it. Keep it down. Thomas will be so proud of you sweetheart.” Alex tired again to pull away, he could feel bile rising in his throat, but Charles just laughed and held him steady. “Ten more seconds.” He counted down slowly, and Alex fought through it.

When Charles pulled out of his throat, Alex pushed himself away, coughing so hard that he gagged. He wiped at the tears on his cheeks and the saliva that dripped down his chin, trying to catch a breath.

“Again.” Charles snapped.

“No more.” Alex rasped out. “No more. Please. I'm sorry. I told Thomas I was sorry.” He begged.

“That's not good enough sugar. Open up.” This time, Alex was ready, he took in as much air as he could before Charles pushed his cock back to the back of his throat. But Charles wasn't one to go easy on him... If he had been holding still, Alex could have handled it, but the short, quick thrusts that hit the back of his throat forced the air out of his lungs and made him gag. When Charles pushed in to the base he pinched Alex's nose closed again and waited. And waited... And waited... Alex kept his composure as long as he could, trying to focus on the steady drip of the leaky faucet in the bathroom rather than the scathing 'praises' that Charles spat down at him. He had his eyes shut tight, bright dots of color dancing behind his lids, his lungs were burning, and he tried to swallow to keep his throat from convulsing and his dinner from coming up. He trembled, bracing himself on Charles' thighs, his fingers digging in while he tried to push himself away, but Charles just held on until he was sobbing and trying to beg to be let go.

This time, when his throat was clear, Alex did vomit. He managed to turn and make it to the toilet but shame burned low in his stomach and he could feel his ears turning red while he retched.

“Fucking pathetic.” Charles scoffed and kicked him in the hip, hard enough to bruise. “Get up Alexander.”

“Charles... Please... Why are you doing this?” Alex coughed.

“You know why. Stand on up for me baby doll.” Charles grabbed his arm and yanked him up before twisting it behind his back and pinning him over the counter.

“Stop...” Alex begged, trying not to cry and failing. He was fucking terrified. His knees hurt, his throat hurt... He wanted John. Hell, he wanted Thomas, even knowing that this was all his doing. He just wanted Charles to let him go. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry...” His pleas fell on deaf ears, and his voice rose until he was screaming, praying that John or Thomas will hear him from downstairs. “I don't want this!” He sobbed when Charles fucked into him with two fingers slick with, what he was pretty sure was, soap.

“Shut up.” He warned, adding another finger and grabbing the back of Alex's neck, pressing him down harder against the counter.

“Stop!” He screamed when Charles replaced his fingers with his cock and got a hard slap across his already bruised cheek for it.

“Don't get mouthy. Thomas doesn't like it when you talk back and neither do I. Understand?” Alex didn't answer, but another scream tore at his throat when Charles pushed the rest of the way in. “The fuck did I just tell you?” He sobbed behind the hand that clamped over his mouth.

“Please-” he gasped when the other man took his hand off of his mouth to brace himself better on the counter, “-enough. T-That's enough. Tom! Th-Thomas!” He sobbed desperately. Charles just laughed at him.

“He's not going to help you when he's the one who sent me up here after you.” He scoffed.

“I'm sorry! It wont happen again- I'm sorry! Please!” Alex was sure that he was going to shake straight out of his skin. His palms ached from where his nails dug into his skin and the bruises on his hips from when he had been bent over Thomas' desk at the lounge, lined up perfectly with the edge of the bathroom counter, they would be darker by morning. “please...” His throat was raw. There was a soft buzzing from Charles' pocket followed by a ring tone Alex knew well. It was set on his own phone, on John's, even on Hercules and Lafayette's phones- it was Thomas, and he thanked whatever god had decided to take pity on him when Charles stilled his hips, and answered, even if he still had his cock buried to the base in him.

x

“Yeah?” He paused. “Alright. You got it.” He hung up and pulled out in one slow, fluid motion. If Alex hadn't hated Charles, and hadn't been fighting to stay standing through the pain that hit him in waves, he would have moaned, but he just sobbed in relief and slumped forward. “Today's your lucky day sugar. Pretty little John thought he heard you, and Thomas ain't fool enough to let him catch on. So, long as you keep your mouth shut, we wont have anymore trouble and I wont have to pay you another visit. We clear?”

“Yes sir... I'm sorry sir...”

“Good boy. Now get yourself together and head on back downstairs.” Charles slapped his ass sharply and he jumped. Once he was out, and the door was shut and locked again, Alex crumbled down to his knees there on the bathroom floor. He stayed like that, resting his forehead on the wall and trying to get his breath back, fighting the urge to throw up again. When the waves of nausea had passed, Alex forced himself to his feet and went through the motions of cleaning the bathroom again. He brushed his teeth after he cleaned the toilet and then wiped down the counter again, spraying the air with a heavy dose of Febreze to cover the smells of vomit and sex before he looked himself over in the mirror. He still looked like a mess, but it was better than before, so he settled and left the bathroom, limping down the stairs and past the kitchen where Charles and Thomas are standing, watching him. He went straight to John and wrapped him in a tight hug, holding back a sob.

“I love you...” He whispered, kissing John softly.

“I love you too.” John's hands were warm on Alex's waist and he leaned forward to rest his forehead on his shoulder. “Are you alright? I thought I heard-” Alex cut him off with a lie.

“I'm fine John. I promise... I'm fine...”

 

XOXO 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The downhill slope continues in the next chapter.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex
> 
> PS- While I've got your attention: Turn your attention to the amazing fanmix for this fic made by brianthomasoffical which you can find here http://kaykatastr0phe.tumblr.com/post/150303867500/bring-him-h-o-m-e  
> <3


	15. Chapter 12

XOXO

Alex locked himself in his bedroom after Charles left and stripped down, throwing his clothes in the corner, contemplating burning them while he dug through his closet. John had tried to follow him upstairs but he told him to stay, said he needed some alone time. Nothing felt right in his hands. His jeans all felt too scratchy, his shirts were almost too soft -how was that even a bad thing?- nothing _looked_ right. He raked his fingers back through his hair and let out a frustrated sob before grabbing a tank top off the floor and pulling it on before falling into bed. He closed his eyes but all he could see was Charles and his eyes snapped open again.

“Fuck...” He whispered. “Fuck!” Alex grabbed his pillow and pressed it over his face to muffle a scream, hoping beyond hope that John wouldn't hear him. “John... God...” A fresh wave of tears hit and he curled in on himself. All he could think of was John... What he would say. John would blame him for this... And he would be right. “It's all my fault...”

 

“Alex... Alex, sweetheart wake up.” Alex jolted up when John shook his shoulder. He didn't know when he had fallen asleep but he was groggy and disoriented.

“John?”

“We're leaving in a little bit. Look... Alexander...” Alex froze. “I know what I heard...”

“I'm sorry. John I'm so sorry, please- I didn't want it. You have to believe me.” John held his face in his hands and rested his forehead against his while he cried.

“I believe you. I do. I promise. And I'm not going to let Thomas get away with this, okay? I tried talking to him. But...”

“I'm sorry... I shouldn't have let him. I should have fought back. Lafayette's always telling me I need to stand up for myself, maybe he's right.” Alex sighed and leaned against John's shoulder. “It's for my own good though...”

“Alexander...”

“Don't feel bad for me John. I'll be better.” Alex forced a smile and leaned in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too, but Alex-”

“Don't worry about it, okay? Hey, help me pick something to wear. I'm having a hard time of it.” Alex kept his eyes on his closet. He didn't want to look at John, he knew he would only see disappointment in his eyes. He froze up when John came and wrapped his arms around his waist, hooking his chin over his shoulder.

“How about those black jeans that make your ass look great, and-” he paused and hummed. “The grey sweater I got you for Christmas?” He sounded strained and when Alex snuck a glance at him over his shoulder, he just looked lost.

“John? Is he up? We have to leave- You look nice Alexander.” Thomas smiled when he came in and Alex tried not to shiver when he hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. “Are you ready? They'll be closing up soon and I want to get there before everyone leaves.”

“Yeah.” Alex nodded, but didn't look up to meet Thomas or John's eyes. “Ready when you are.”

 

He rode in the backseat with his arms wrapped around his chest, fighting off the chill that still somehow made it through his sweater, and trying not to notice the way John kept looking back at him and opening his mouth like he wanted to say something before looking over at Thomas and turning back to the front with a sigh. He just wanted to go back to bed. Every inch of his body ached and he didn't want to be seen by anyone. Even getting out of the car to a mostly empty sidewalk, it felt like everyone was staring at him like they knew. He just ducked his head, pulled up the collar of his sweater and reached for John's hand, sighing when warm fingers locked with his.

“I've got you.” John whispered, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Alex smiled, his first real smile since he had seen John that morning. It felt like ages ago, but in less than twenty-four hours he had managed to royally fuck himself over. “I love you.”

“I love you too, John.” He squeezed back and leaned over to kiss John's cheek while they walked up to the front door, Thomas smiling at them.

“Evenin' gentlemen.” Hercules smiled and held the door open for them. “Thomas, you're just in time. The place just cleared out and we were about to do the final counts for the night, if you wanted to take over and finish that up.”

“Thanks. I've just got to grab a few things from my office.” Alex felt John go still next to him, but he relaxed again when Lafayette waved from the bar.

“ _Bonjour mes amis_!” He greeted, much more cheerful than he had been earlier. Alex grinned over at him.

“Ah, Lafayette, _qu'est-ce que vous obtenez jusqu'_ _à_ _quand vous avez quitt_ _é_ _notre maison_?” He teased, hopping up on a stool and leaning over the bar.

“ _Seriez-vous pas savoir_?” Lafayette shot back with a wink. Alex laughed.

“Alex. Can you come with me for a minute?” Thomas put a hand on his shoulder and he bit his lip nervously, looking down the hallway towards the office. “Please, I just need your help with a few things.”

“Okay.” He glanced at John, then Lafayette and climbed off the stool. “John?”

“No.” Thomas almost snapped. “No, John you- you stay out here. Please.” He put his hands on John's shoulders and kissed his forehead. “We'll be right back.” Alex followed slowly, his heart racing. He breathed a sigh of relief when Thomas left the door open and went to his desk.

“Did... Did you need me for something?”

“I just didn't want John to come back here... Not yet.” Thomas frowned and rearranged his files.

“I understand...” Alex glanced at the couch and felt sick. “Look, Thomas-” He took another step into the room and reached for Thomas' hand. “I'm sorry... I really am. I'm so sorry for what I did. You know it didn't mean anything... right?”

“I know my love. I know.” Thomas stood up straight and hugged him close. “You'll make it up to me though, won't you?”

“Of course I will.”

“Good boy.” Alex leaned up for a kiss and smiled, ducking his head under Thomas' chin. He was going to be okay...

 

Alex helped Thomas take the boxes of folders back to the front of the bar, where most of the staff had cleared out. John was standing on the bar wiping down mirrors while Lafayette steadied him with his hands on his hips.

“ _Faites attention_.” He laughed. “Don't slip, _mon petit_.”

“I won't. I'm done up here. Help me down, will ya?” John looked back over his shoulder and smiled down at Alex and Thomas. “What are y'all smilin' about?”

“I haven't seen you up on the bar in two years John.” Thomas laughed and went around the bar, reaching up and putting his hands on John's thighs. “Brings back memories.”

“I'm sure it does.” John scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Help me down?” He hopped down from the bar into Thomas' arms and kissed his cheek. Alex laughed and pulled John in for a kiss.

“What kind of memories?”

“Let's not talk about it right now.” John kissed him on the nose. “Hey, Lafayette-” Alex didn't pay attention to the rest of what John said, Thomas had pulled him in close to his side and leaned down to kiss his cheek. He thought he felt something press into his hip, but Thomas moved away from him too quickly to think anything of it, so he let it go.

“Doll, do me a favor, go get the cash drawer from the other bar?”

“Sure thing.” Alex smiled and made his way across the lounge. Thomas was smiling. He was happy. He was being sweet. They were going to be okay. Everything was going to be just- When he turned around Lafayette was staring at him, a piece of paper in his hand. Thomas was still looking over the books in front of him. He hadn't seen. Alex shook his head quickly and mouthed “ _don't_ ”.

“Thomas, I'm headed out. Remember we have a meeting with Mr. King tomorrow night at seven.” James called from the door. Alex snapped his attention away from Lafayette and put the cash drawer next to Thomas.

“Thanks Jemmy. I'll see you tomorrow.” Thomas waved over his shoulder and Alex saw Lafayette put the note back in his pocket before coming around the bar.

“We need to talk.” He tapped his fingers on the counter.

“About what?” Thomas didn't look up and Lafayette grabbed his shoulder to turn him around.

“What did you do to Alexander?” Thomas scoffed, shrugged him off and turned back around to the books without answering. “ _Thomas_.”

“Laf, stop.” Alex cut in when Lafayette grabbed Thomas' shoulder again, pulling him away from the counter. Hercules stepped up and grabbed Lafayette's arm, trying to get between him and Thomas.

“Babe... Enough. Come here.” He pulled Lafayette against his chest.

“Alexander, my love, come here a moment.” Thomas beckoned Alex over and John gave his hand a squeeze. Alex went without a word and gasped when Thomas grabbed his arm and pulled him up against his chest wrapping an arm around his neck, putting just a little bit of pressure on his windpipe. “Do you really want to know? Because I don't think you do.”

“Let him go.” Lafayette took a step forward but he froze when Thomas lifted the edge of his jacket. Alex held his breath when he felt cold metal press against his skin, just under his ear.

“Thomas what the _fuck_ are you doing!?” John shouted, coming around to stand in front of them. Hercules put both of his hands up and stepped forward slowly, putting himself between Thomas and Lafayette.

“Thomas, put the gun down, let Alex go... we'll all leave. We'll go home okay?”

“Tom please...” Alex trembled and swallowed hard, the arm across his throat making it difficult.

“Let him go Tom!” John took a few quick steps forward.

“Sit. Down. John.” Thomas turned the gun on John and he froze and leaned against the counter.

“ _Qu'est-ce que tu fais_!?”

“What am I _doing_?” Thomas laughed. “I'm getting _tired_ Lafayette. I'm getting real _fucking_ tired of you prying into our private life. Whatever happens between the three of us is our business. Do you understand me?”

“I'm just worried about him... John too. Look, I have seen the bruises Thomas, I can see them now. Please just-”

“There's nothing to be worried about. Isn't that right Alexander? John?” Thomas ran a hand down Alex's cheek and he shivered.

“He's right Gil. We're fine. Don't worry.” Alex saw the look in Lafayette's eyes and knew that he understood. They had an understanding, if Alex or John used Lafayette's first name, they were in real trouble, but couldn't say more.

“John?”

“It's alright.” John nodded. “We're fine.”

“Let him go Thomas. Don't do anything stupid, okay? We believe you.” Hercules insisted. “Just... Just let Alex go and put the gun down and we can all go home. We won't speak of this again.” Thomas just stared him down, but he let go of Alex and stepped back a pace. Alex breathed deep and headed to stand by John but Lafayette shook his head, his jaw set.

“No. No.” He laughed and shook his head. “Enough is enough.” He grabbed Alex's arm and tugged him to his side. “ _Allonz-y Alexandre._ John. You too. We're leaving. I'm not going to stand here and let him-”

“What the fuck did I just tell you!” Thomas grabbed the back of Alex's sweater and yanked him back. “And what did I tell you about respecting me?” He put his arm back around Alex's neck and held him close to his chest when he stepped closer to Lafayette.

“You think you deserve my _respect_!? After everything you've done!? You are so fucking disillusioned.”

“And what, exactly, do you think you're going to do about it?” Thomas pressed the gun against Lafayette's chest, sneering.

“Keep your fucking hands off of him!” Hercules shouted, pushing between them.

“You back up. This is between us, Mulligan.” Thomas shoved him back.

“Anything involving Lafayette is my business. I want you to back the fuck away from him, and let go of Alexander. He and John are coming with us.”

“No.” Thomas shook his head.

“ _No_? I don't think you're in a position to tell us no, Thomas.” Lafayette stepped around Hercules and put a hand on his shoulder. Alex was shaking, tears trailing down his cheeks. He reached out for John's hand but Thomas pinned his arm back down to his side.

“Thomas please...” He whimpered.

“I'm going to tell you... exactly what's going to happen.” Thomas grit his teeth and Alex could hear his own blood rushing in his ears. “You're going to call the police and you're going to tell them you were robbed. I wasn't here. Alexander and John weren't here. Do you understand me?” Hercules frowned and started to step between Lafayette and Thomas again.

“What are you-”

 

The next seven seconds were a blur but years later, looking back, it would be the clearest memory Alex had. Thomas fired three shots straight into Lafayette's chest. Alex covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. There was a beat of silence. Absolutely nothing. Then he thought he heard John screaming but with the ringing in his ears he couldn't be sure. He opened his eyes to see Lafayette crumbling to the floor with Hercules holding him, trying to slow him down, maybe keep him standing- Alex didn't know. He was shouting at Thomas, but Alex couldn't make out the words. Then Thomas was yanked away from him and he stumbled. John had grabbed Thomas by the arm and was screaming at him.

“What the fuck did you just do!?” Thomas didn't answer him, he just ran a hand down his face, wiping away the blood before he turned to Alex again. He was frozen, eyes wide, hands still over his ears. Thomas took his wrists and pulled his hands down slowly, gently. He was smiling...

“Alexander?” He sounded muted. Alex's ears were still ringing, there was blood on his hand and he wasn't entirely sure if it was Lafayette's or if it was his own. “Alexander? I didn't hurt you did I baby?” Alex blinked and looked up into Thomas' eyes. He could feel his mouth moving, but no sound would come out, so he shook his head dumbly. Thomas swiped a thumb over his cheek and he felt the blood smear and mix with his tears. “What about you John? Are you alright?”

“Y-You... Call him a fucking ambulance! What's wrong with you!?” John was kneeling with Hercules, on Lafayette's other side, holding his hand, his own hands covered in their friend's blood. “Are you just going to let him die!?” Alex felt tears dripping down his chin and his lip quivered, his mouth still hanging open- but no sound came out. “Thomas!”

“Laf... Gilbert.. Honey please. Stay with me. I'm here -okay? I'm here and I'm not letting you go? Do you hear me?” Lafayette nodded, tried to say something, but coughed up a mouthful of blood instead.

“I tired...”

“Shh, I know, I know...” Hercules leaned over Lafayette and kissed his forehead. “Just hold on for me. I'll get you help... You're gonna be alright.”

“Are you alright John? You're not hurt?” Thomas reached for John but he slapped his hand away.

“N-No? Thomas- please! Help him! Call somebody!” Thomas sighed and brought Alex back against his chest, tucking the gun up under his chin again.

“Get up John. We're going home. And if anybody talks- Alex is next.” Alex's knees almost gave out and he just stared, locking eyes with Hercules. He was so strong... He'd never seen him cry before... He had never seen him scared. “And Alexander if you say a single word, it's gonna be John. Are we all clear on that?”

“Y-yes sir...” Alex choked out, John echoing him.

“He's right about you...” Herc's voice was shaking. “You're a fucking monster.”

“Come on John. Get up, we're going.” Thomas reached down for John and grabbed his hands, tugging him to his feet, and guiding him to the door, then coming back to put an arm around Alex's shoulders, trying to edge him away, but he was rooted to the spot. “Come on, doll. Time to go home.”

“Alex... John... Please.” Hercules begged. “Don't- don't go with him...” Lafayette's ragged breathing was the only sound in the room for a solid few seconds.

“I'm sorry...” Alex managed to whisper before Thomas guided him to the door.

 

“Lafayette... Please...” The door had closed behind Thomas, Alex and John- leaving Hercules alone with his dying fiancé. “Please keep your eyes open for me. Just a little longer, okay? I promise. I-I'll call an ambulance- You're going to be okay.”

“Stop it... You don't know that..” Lafayette laughed and Hercules choked back a sob. How could he be laughing... “ _Mon amour... S'il vous pla_ _î_ _t ne vous inqui_ _é_ _tez pas pour moi..._ ”

“Baby please...”

“I know, I know... I'm sorry.” Lafayette reached up and put his hand on the back of Herc's neck, pulling him forward so their foreheads were touching.

“I love you. I love you so, so much. I-I can't lose you...” He was shaking.

“I love you too, _ch_ _é_ _ri_...” Lafayette choked on the blood welling up in his throat. “Take care of them... Promise me you'll- promise me you'll take care of A-Alexander and J-John...”

“I promise... I'm going to take care of you too Gilbert- Look I-I'm calling now. You're gonna be okay.”

“ _Non, mon amour..._ _Je t'aime_... I-”

“No, no... I know that one... _Je t'aime aussi..._ I love you too.” The only sounds in the lounge, apart from his own ragged breathing, were the hum of the refrigerators under the bar and the steady ticking of the clock. “L-Lafayette? Lafayette! Gil! Baby, c'mon- open your eyes! Open your eyes! Wake up! Please... Wake up... I love you... I love you... Wake up...”

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all  
> -Alex
> 
> Translations:  
> *qu'est-ce que vous obtenez jusqu'à quand vous avez quitté notre maison? - What did you get up to after you left our house?  
> *Seriez-vous pas savoir? - Wouldn't you like to know?  
> *Faites attention. - Be careful  
> *S'il vous plaît ne vous inquiétez pas pour moi... - Please don't worry about me


	16. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little break.

XOXO

When Alex opened his eyes John was next to him, tucked up against his chest. Something didn't seem right, the colors of the walls and comforter were wrong, but he just closed his eyes again and buried his nose in John's hair. Past the smell of his shampoo and the soft sound of his breathing, there was the smell of coffee and the quiet drone of the TV in the living room. He breathed deep and sighed, content, and John laughed.

“That tickles.” He protested. Alex laughed back and peppered his neck in kisses, squeezing him tighter. John rolled over and cupped Alex's face in his hands, kissing him soundly before pulling away to smile at him. The hazel eyes that Alex had fallen in love with were bright, there was a healthy weight on him and when Alex ran his hand up and down John's arms he didn't feel any of the small scars that he had known since they'd met. His brain caught up with him and he realized what was different about the room. This was _George's_ bedroom. Those were _his_ mahogany side tables and these were _his_ Egyptian cotton sheets.

“Good morning.” Alex peeked over the top of John's head and saw George smiling in the doorway.

“How long have you been up?” John looked back over his shoulder, the small smile on his lips making Alex's heart beat twice as fast. He was beautiful. He was perfect.

“Not long. Just started the coffee.” George sat on the edge of the bed and leaned down to kiss both of them. “You know, I was thinking we could all go upstate this weekend.”

“That would be nice.” Alex yawned and stretched.

“Oh hey, are we still going out today?”

“Yeah, I was still planning on it.” George laid down on John's other side and pressed up against him, sandwiching him between himself and Alex, and kissing him slowly. “Something you needed?”

“Just a few little things.” John's voice was sleep soft and he was warm against Alex's chest. It was perfect. George's hand was on his waist and he felt... safe. He leaned over John and smiled when his forehead bumped George's and the other man reached up and rested a hand on the nape of his neck, pulling him forward to kiss him fully. John wiggled his way out from between the two of them and settled back behind Alex, wrapping an arm around his waist, his hand settling low on his belly, kissing his shoulder.

“Alex.” George tangled his fingers in Alex's hair.

“What do you need from us my love?” John's breath was soft on his ear. “C'mon.” He teased. “Tell us.”

“John- George. I-” His startled gasp was cut off by George's mouth on his own when John's hand slid lower. “I just need-” He didn't finish his sentence, he just relaxed, melting into George's arms, John pressed up against him with his lips on his neck.

Alex's peace was shattered by a thud and the sound of splintering wood. His eyes shot open and George and John were gone- he was in an apartment that he hadn't thought about in years, Aaron was standing in front of him and Charles was in the doorway, one hand on the back of John's neck.

“No-” He choked out. “Aaron, no!” There was one loud shot and Aaron was on the floor. Charles turned the gun on John and Alex screamed when he pulled the trigger--

 

“John!” Alex sat straight up in bed, drenched in sweat and reached out to his left. John wasn't there. John always slept on Alex's left side... He fumbled along the right side of the bed but it was cold there too. Panic welled up in his throat until he remembered that he was in _his_ room, not the one he shared with John and Thomas. Everything from the night before and he scrambled to his feet, stumbling to the door and yanking the door open. He headed straight for the kitchen where he could hear John and Thomas talking. His breath caught in his throat with a sob of relief when he saw John perched on the counter.

“Alex? Are you alright? I thought I heard you yelling.” The corners of John's mouth quirked up into a small smile that was so forced that it made Alex's stomach twist. He went to John and rested his head on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist- too thin...

“Bad dream...” He muttered, squeezing him tight.

“It's okay.” John ran his fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. “It was just a dream.” Thomas came over to them and put a gentle hand on his waist. “Nothing bad happened.” John's words sent a shiver down his spine, but he nodded against his chest anyway.”

“Yeah... Just a dream...”

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short, and I'm sorry for that, but I just wanted to give a teeny-tiny break before we continue on with the heart break.
> 
> All comments, kudos, and bookmarks give me life, and keep me rolling. You guys are the best.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	17. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back to our regular updates!  
> I don't know why that's a good thing, but here we are. We're starting to wrap things up here, so buckle up while our boys settle in for a few months of hell.
> 
> Enjoy

XOXO

It was a week before they got the call from Hercules. Lafayette's funeral was in just a couple of days. Alex almost wanted to refuse his invitation. He had already dealt with the police, stood up for Thomas, denied being at the lounge the night Lafayette died, and played the shocked, devastated friend well. Not that he really needed to act at all... He still hadn't really had time to process what had happened. He didn't want to face Hercules on the the arm of the man that had murdered his fiancé... But Hercules insisted that all three of them come. He said that Lafayette would have wanted him and John there, then added in a low voice that he wanted Thomas to face what he had done even if he would never face real justice. So Alex agreed...

Alex and John hadn't been out of the house since that night, not more than going out into the backyard or going to get the mail. Thomas had insisted on it, but beyond that neither of them really _wanted_ to leave. There was nothing out there that they wanted. Nothing that they needed. Thomas had become more attentive in the last week. He was sweet. It was like the beginning of their relationship again. And Alex clung to that. He had been welcomed back into their shared bedroom and the sex had been incredible. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this close to Thomas. Everything was wonderful... Until the day before the funeral.

 

“John?” Alex knocked on the locked bedroom door. His heart dropped into his stomach and his chest felt tight with fear. They had all agreed to keep their doors unlocked after the incident at the lounge, no matter what. “Tom?” He called over his shoulder.

“One minute doll.” Thomas' voice came from inside and Alex breathed a sigh of relief before he seized up again.

“Please let me in.” Alex begged, his palms were sweating. They were alone. The door was locked. They were hiding... “Tom, I-” The door opened slowly and Thomas slid out quietly, not giving Alex the chance to go in before he turned him towards the kitchen.

“Hungry?”

“Not really. Thomas what's going on in there? Is John okay?” He looked back at the door frowning.

“He's fine.” Thomas grabbed a bottle of water and a carton of blueberries from the fridge. “He's just got a headache.” He bit at a hangnail and Alex bit back an accusation. Thomas was lying...

“Can I come in?” He smiled a little, resting a hand on his boyfriend's elbow. He almost looked spooked. “Please?”

“Sure doll. Let me make sure John's feeling up to it first.” Thomas ducked back into the bedroom and shut the door before Alex could slide in behind him. He pressed his ear up to the door and listened carefully, trying to pick up John's words. The handle turned and he backed up a pace, folding his hands together, trying not to pick at his nails. “Come on in.”

“Hey John.” He smiled a little. “How are you feeling?”

“Better now that you're here.” John's lazy smile set Alex on edge but when he reached out for him, he took his hand and smiled back before climbing into bed with him. Thomas climbed in on John's other side and pulled them both in close and he relaxed a little. John was shivering between them and Alex ran his fingers through his hair.

“Are you sure you're alright?”

“I'm fine.” John's soft sigh didn't put him at ease at all. His words came out slow and a little slurred and he was too relaxed against Alex's shoulder.

“John?” Alex tipped John's chin up to look into his eyes, the hazel he loved swallowed up by his pupils. He let go, clenching his jaw and backing out of bed. “What did you do.” It wasn't a question. It was a demand, and he hated how much he sounded like Thomas. But John had promised him that he would stop. He wasn't angry- he was hurt beyond belief.

“Baby I didn't do anything.” John insisted. He tried to sit up but his elbow gave out and Thomas caught him gently. “Sugar, I promise.”

“Don't.” Alex backed up, shaking his head. “John don't lie to me. Not about this.”

“Alex, calm down. I was with him.” Thomas soothed, tucking John against his chest. “He's fine.”

“He's fine? He's _fine_!?” Alex ran his fingers back through his hair. “John you _promised_! You said you wouldn't-”

“Enough, Alexander.” John looked like he was about to cry when Thomas stood and backed Alex against the wall. “He was fine before you knew about it, and he'll be fine as long as I'm here to watch him. Unless you want to join in- stay out of it. This is between the two of us.”

“It's between the two of you? Is that it? John almost died because of your enabling Thomas! What happens the next time you cut him off? I don't want to see him like that again- and I'm sure you don't either!”

“Alex please. It's my fault... Don't blame Thomas.” John stood on shaky legs and got between them. Alex reached out to steady him when he stumbled.

“Sit down John.” Thomas' voice was dangerously low and his grip on Alex's arm tightened. “That's enough. We've got pot- go smoke a bowl or something. Relax. Let John relax.”

“I don't want to _relax_ Thomas! And the last thing you, of all people, should be doing right now is relaxing! You're going to the funeral of a man that you _murdered_ tomorrow and you're just-”

“Just what? What's the end of that sentence Alexander?” Thomas let go of his wrist and pinned him to the wall with his forearm pressed against his throat. “I'm not concerned about tomorrow. As long as you've kept your mouth shut, I have nothing to worry about.” He sneered. “You did keep your mouth shut, didn't you? Do you remember what I said would happen if you talked?” Alex glanced over at John, who was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands now, and he swallowed.

“I remember...” He rasped. “I'm sorry.” When Thomas backed off he went and put an arm around John. “I'm sorry John... I-I'll just go.” He headed for the door with his eyes on the floor.

“Alex- wait. You don't have to go.”

“Sorry John...” He left without another word and tried to ignore the muffled sound of John crying against Thomas' shoulder.

 

Alex didn't hear anything for hours and was surprisingly fine with that. He'd shut himself in his room with his laptop and his headphones. He hadn't written in far too long and he missed it. Once he started there was no stopping him, and he didn't notice his door opening or Thomas coming up behind him.

“Alexander.” He jumped when hands landed on his shoulders and pulled one ear bud out, glaring up at his boyfriend.

“What?”

“You upset John.” Alex huffed, put his headphones back in and turned back to his work.

“Well you both upset me.” He knew he sounded petty but he didn't much care. “You promised you wouldn't lie to me anymore, John said he would stop using, and there was one more thing... what was it... Oh! You just let your 'good friend Charlie' fuck me in the spare bathroom then killed my best friend.” He spat. “I think I have the right to be a little pissed.” He was on the floor before he could blink, his headphones were ripped from his ears and his head hit the floor hard enough that his ears rang.

“Listen you little fuck.” Thomas snarled. “All of this is _your_ fault.” Alex blinked up at him and opened his mouth but before anything came out Thomas' hand covered the whole lower half of his face. “You brought all of this upon yourself. If it wasn't for you, Lafayette would be alive. If _you_ hadn't begged Washington to fuck you, you wouldn't have had to deal with Charles.” Alex thought about biting his hand so he would let go... so he could breathe, but he just glared up at him and dealt with it. “And if it wasn't for you, John wouldn't have spent the last three hours begging me for more. Telling me that he was a horrible person and worried that you hate him.”

“I don't hate him.” His words were muffled by Thomas' hand but he kept talking. “I don't hate you. Let me up.” Thomas moved his hand but didn't let him up. “I'm sorry Thomas.”

“Are you going to behave?”

“Yes sir...”

“Then come back to our room, and sit with John for a bit. I have to run out to take care of a few things.” Thomas backed up and held a hand out to Alex to help him up. He thought about smacking it away... he thought about spitting on Thomas' shoes when he stood up... He thought about doing a lot of things. But he didn't do them. He didn't do anything, just saved his document, closed his lap top and followed Thomas across the hall to the other bedroom where John was sitting on the bed. Alex tried not to look at him. Tried not to see the haze in his eyes, tried not to notice the slack in his jaw... tried not to notice the fresh bites and hickeys that decorated his chest, neck and collarbones. He just clenched his teeth and sat down on the opposite corner of the bed.

“Alex...”

“I'll be back in a couple of hours.” Thomas pulled on a jacket and ran his fingers back through his hair. “You two relax, okay.” He leaned in to kiss John, then Alex. “Text me if there's anything you need. I love you both very much.”

“I love you too.” John sighed, Alex could hear his smile.

“I love you too, Thomas.”

 

Alex didn't say anything for about fifteen minutes after Thomas left, even though John tried talking to him. He was still pissed.

“Alexander, please... Let me explain.” John's arms wrapped around his chest and his lips pressed to his shoulder. “Let me make it up to you.”

“I don't want you to make it up to me John.” He sighed and tried to shrug him off. “And I don't want to talk about it. You promised me...”

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” John's hands trailed down his chest and rested on his hips. “Please just let me...” Alex turned to tell him... he didn't know what he was going to tell him. To let go? To get away from him? It didn't matter what he was going to say because before he could say it, John was kissing him, and nothing else mattered. This was _John. His_ John. And nothing he did could make Alex love him any less.

“Alex...” John sighed and pulled Alex down so that he was laying on his back before climbing into his lap. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Alex rested his hands on John's hips, puling them forward and groaning. He hadn't noticed that he was just in his boxers until just now, and he hadn't realized how hard he was until John ground down against him. “Oh my god, John...”

“I'll take care of you. That's what we do right? We take care of each other? Let me take care of you.” John leaned forward to kiss him again and that was all it took. Alex slid one hand up John's back and tangled his fingers in his hair, the other hand dipping under the waistband of his boxers and down over his ass. His skin was slick with lube.

“Did you and Thomas-?”

“Fuck? Yes, we did.” John laughed against his lips, it was soft and breathy and there was a hint of smoke on his breath. “Alexander, when was the last time you got high with me? Hm? It's been a while hasn't it?”

“It has.” Alex slid his hand lower over John's ass and pushed two fingers into him.

“You used to love it.” John moaned. “Getting high and fooling around with me.” He rolled his hips down. “Why'd you stop?”

“Didn't mean to.” Alex worked to push John's boxers down more and planted a kiss on his neck. “Just kinda stopped.”

“C'mon. Smoke with me a little?”

“Sure.” Alex smiled and let go of John so he could get up. He made quick work of packing a bowl and grabbing a lighter. Alex didn't miss the way his hand hovered over a needle on the desk and he fought to keep himself from saying anything. Pot was one thing, pills even, he had no problems there, he was no saint. But that was where he drew the line. John passed over it without a second glance and Alex breathed a sigh of relief before he was straddled again.

“Open.” Alex watched John take a hit and laughed, opening his mouth a little when he leaned forward. John's lips were always so soft, and Alex loved kissing him. With his nose held shut, his only option was to breathe in through his mouth when John exhaled against his lips. He moaned and held his breath until John let go of his nose and laughed through a coughing fit. “There you are.”

“Hey.” He coughed back, leaning up to kiss him again, properly.

“Again?”

 

Smoke passed between them easily until the bowl was cashed. It took longer than it used to, but Alex didn't mind. He was with John, one of the two loves of his life and he was high for the first time in a year with said love of his life in his lap, kissing him and grinding against him slowly. He had forgotten the buzz and the burn- the paradox of slow excitement.

“You're hard.” John teased.

“So are you.” He gripped John's hips and bucked up against him. “God... John. You-” He gasped and laughed a little before his boyfriend laid over him and kissed him slowly, squirming out of his boxers.

“I want you to fuck me Alexander. Please?”

“Anything for you.” John was quick to reach between them and work Alex's sweats down his hips. “Lube's still in the drawer, right?”

“Yeah. Don't worry, I'll get it.” Alex's head fell back on his pillow when John kissed his way down his chest and wrapped a hand around his cock. “I missed this. I missed you.”

“We just did it last night.” He groaned. “How did you miss me?”

“I missed _this_. Just the two of us.” John nipped Alex's hip and he jumped, thrusting up into his hand. “I get jealous too you know... When Thomas gets you all to himself.” Alex opened his mouth to say that he felt the same, but all that came out was a shaky moan when John's mouth was on his cock. He tangled the fingers of one hand in his hair and used the other to cover his mouth, it was already too much. He was floating and John's fingers digging into his hips were the only points that were keeping him grounded.

“John...” He whined. “John please.”

“What? Do you want me to stop?” He teased. “Because I'll stop if you want me to. It's no problem.”

“God no. Please don't stop. Just- just-”

“I wont stop. For you Alexander, I'll never stop.” John leaned up for a kiss before he went back down, taking Alex's cock down to the back of his throat and humming. He bobbed his head slowly, one hand wrapped around the base, squeezing gently. Alex squirmed and tugged John's hair. It was too much and not enough all at once. He wanted to stay there forever.

“I- I...” He stammered, trying not to hold John down, the back of his own neck burning, the memory of Charles' fingers digging into his skin still haunting him.

“Don't. Not yet.” John pulled back and crawled over him, cupping his face in both hands to pull him up for a kiss. Alex rested his hands low on John's hips and kissed him back slowly before reaching behind him and lining up the head of his cock with his hole and pressing in slowly. “Shit- Alex!”

“Sorry! Sorry. Are you okay?”

“Never been better.” He gasped, pushing his hips down and pinning Alex down by his shoulders. “Fuck me. Alex I need you to-” Alex fucked up into him, smiling when his head fell forward, loose strands of hair falling into his eyes. “Fuck-”

“I love you John.” He reached up to tuck John's hair behind his ear while he worked his hips down against him.

“I love you too.” John was liquid against him, his movements slow and deliberate, pretty punched out little moans going straight to Alex's cock. “Alex I'm- I'm so close. I need- I need-” His arms were shaking from the effort of holding himself up.

“I know what you need _querido_.” Alex pushed himself up on his elbows and sat up, grabbing John's hips.

“Oh do you?” John gasped and Alex tried not to laugh when he pinned him on his back. “Okay- you know _exactly_ what I need.” He moaned.

“ _Tan apretado... tan jodidamente apretada... Dios m_ _í_ _o..._ ” Alex buried his face in the crook of John's neck and gripped his hip tight. “ _Eres tan bueno_.” He moaned, his hips jerking a little when John dug his nails into his shoulders.

“Harder- Please!” He begged. “I want to come Alex- please, please.” Times like these, Alex envied John. He could get away with the sugar sweet begging that Thomas loved so much but when _he_ tried it, Alex would get the cold shoulder if Thomas wasn't in the mood for it. But he always wanted John. He didn't expect his jealousy to fuel him, but it did, and he gave in to his boyfriend's begging. He dug his nails into John's hips and thrust in deeper and harder, he kept his face tucked in against his neck and tried to keep his breathing even. He was on the verge of tears and didn't want John to see him cry. Why was he crying? God why...

“I love you...” He whispered.

“I love you too.” John clung tight to him and Alex was coming before he knew it. “Alex!”

“S-sorry- shit John I'm sorry... I'm sorry I-” John grabbed his chin and turned his head to kiss him hard. He wiped at the tears on his cheeks and held him steady.

“Alex stop that. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He gasped. “I'm not him... You don't have to wait for me.” Alex was trembling over him.

“N-no.. No I messed up... I messed up John, I'm so sorry.” Alex rested his forehead on John's chest and tried to breathe. He couldn't... “Don't tell him... Don't tell Thomas.”

“Alexander, come here. Lay down with me. Come here.” John wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down against his chest. “Don't worry about me. I'll get off later. Fuck a little more and I'll get off now. You're fine Alex.” Alex tried to form words but he couldn't, and John just squeezed him tighter. “Shh... Baby. I love you...”

“Please don't tell him...”

“What has he done to you Alexander...?”

 

The next morning dawned grey and rainy and Alex couldn't think of anything more fitting as he tied his tie with hands that were too steady. Thomas and John were behind him, Thomas helping John into his jacket, they were talking quietly but Alex kept his mouth shut tight enough that his teeth hurt from grinding them.

“Alex...?” John put a gentle hand on his shoulder and he sighed. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. I just need my jacket.” Alex turned and caught John in a quick kiss.

“Grab an umbrella.” Even Thomas seemed somber when he looked out the window. “News says it'll be raining all day.” His voice was quiet and he kept his eyes on the floor. He wouldn't meet their eyes. Alex stood a little straighter at that. He'd heard John and Thomas talking the night before when they thought he had fallen asleep. Thomas was actually _nervous_. His voice shook when he told John that he was afraid for the three of them, that the paranoia about Mulligan telling someone was creeping up on him. He didn't want anything to happen to Alex or John. He said that his threats hadn't meant anything, that he would never really hurt them. Alex had almost laughed aloud at that. Another lie...

“Let's just go.” Alex tugged his jacket on, and a thicker coat on top of that, and grabbed an umbrella from the stand by the door. He held back a smile when he saw Thomas shiver. He wasn't the only one who knew how to cut with his words.

He took the back seat, keeping his hands folded in his lap and his mouth shut, shooting Thomas the occasional glare in the rear-view mirror. John kept looking back at him, reaching back to put a hand on his knee. He ignored John too. He didn't want to talk, and he knew that John would want to.

“Were here.” Thomas spoke quietly and Alex got out of the car before either of them, making a beeline for the door and going straight inside. He figured if they asked he could just say that he didn't want to get caught in the rain.

“Alexander.” Hercules put a hand on his arm and there was a beat of silence before Alex wrapped his arms around his friend and squeezed, trying to hold in a sob.

“Herc... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.” He tucked his face against his shoulder and now he did start to cry. Herc's big hands rested at the nape of his neck and in the middle of his back, rubbing slow circles.

“Is he here?” He whispered low in Alex's ear. He nodded.

“He and John are both here. I think he's still parking the car.” He pulled out of the hug and Hercules cupped his cheek in one hand. “He's really shook up. He's actually nervous.”

“Good.” Those wonderful warm, brown eyes that Alex loved so much were cold. He leaned up and gave him a soft kiss. “I'm glad you came Alex.” He forced a smile. “I really am. It... It would have meant a lot to him.” He looked over to the other room where the other people that had been invited were waiting.

“Hercules.” They both turned when John came in with Thomas right behind him, shaking water from his umbrella at the door before leaning it against the wall and tucking his hands into his pockets. “How are you holding up honey?” John tucked himself between Hercules and Alex and gave Herc a kiss on the cheek.

“I'm alright.” Another forced smile. “Thanks for coming. You too, Thomas.” Thomas looked up sharply when he was offered a hand that he shook solemnly.

“I'm sorry for your loss.” Alex didn't miss the way Herc's hand tightened around Thomas' and he froze. “I truly am.”

“I'm sure you are. Thank you for being here.” Hercules turned away, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder and leading him away. “Lafayette's friend Adrienne is here. You two met right?”

“Yeah. Once or twice. She mostly speaks French doesn't she?” Hercules shook his head. “Need me to talk to her?”

“Please.” Alex nodded and followed him into the other room where a woman stood to greet him with tears in her eyes. “Adrienne, you remember Alexander, don't you.”

“Yes, yes of course.” Her smile wavered, Alex remembered it being beautiful... _“Comment allez-vous?”_ She leaned in to kiss him on both cheeks.

_“Aussi bien que je peux_ _ê_ _tre, je suppose... Comment tenez-vous_? _Je sais que vous et Lafayette_ _é_ _taient proches.”_ Adrienne nodded, still holding both of Alex's hands.

“We were. I know you meant a lot to him as well. He told me last time I visited that you were going through a hard time.” Alex straightened his collar nervously. The bruises had faded almost all the way in the last week and a half but there was still a hint of discoloration there and he didn't need anyone asking any questions. Not today. Not ever again.

“I was. Thomas, John and I were going through a rough patch but we got through it just fine. Didn't we?” He looked over his shoulder at John, who had come up behind him and put a hand on the small of his back.

“We're wonderful now.” John offered up a small smile. _“Tellement agr_ _é_ _able_ _à_ _tou revoir Adrienne. Je souhaite qu'il_ _é_ _tait dans des circonstances diff_ _é_ _rentes...”_

“Alex, can we talk for a second?” Thomas rested a hand on the back of Alex's neck and lead him away. “How are you?”

“How am I?” Alex hissed out. “How _am_ I? Thomas I am at my best friend's funeral. How do you think I am?” He swatted Thomas' hand away. “I just want to get through this day and I would appreciate it if you stayed away from me.” Thomas almost looked hurt, but his scowl told Alex that he would be in for hell once they got home.

“Fine. I'll sit on the other side of John.” Thomas tipped his chin up and kissed him soundly. “Don't forget that I love you.” He had an iron grip on his arm but let go when someone cleared their throat behind him.

“George.” Alex backed up a pace. “It's... nice to see you.” Thomas clenched his jaw and stalked off after giving George a stiff nod. “How are you?” Alex wanted to kick himself. Stupid question.

“I'm good. Alex, I'm so sorry... And how it happened... I thought the lounge was in a good neighborhood. I never thought something like this could happen. How's Thomas doing with all this?” Alex blinked, confused for a second until he remembered that George hadn't been there. All he knew was that the lounge was robbed. He didn't know the truth... and he never could.

“He's stunned. We all thought the same thing... Thought it was a safe place.” He looked down at his feet. “Whoever did this...” He looked up again and glanced at Thomas. “They're a monster...”

“And there's still no leads?”

“No, none... Herc said he was in the back when it happened. He didn't see the guys that did it. And Lafayette couldn't tell him much.”

“He was wonderful...” Alex followed George's gaze to a picture of himself with Lafayette, Hercules and John.

“Come with me for a minute.” Alex took George's hand and tugged him back into the hallway and into the bathroom while Thomas had his back turned. Once he had locked the door he started pacing, running his fingers back through his hair.

“Alexander?”

“It was Thomas.” He blurted, choking on his words.

“What!?” George grabbed his shoulders. “What did you say?”

“Thomas did this. I promised not to tell, he made us all promise not to say anything. He threatened us... But you deserve to know the truth... You were his friend too.” Alex kept his voice low and held onto George's arms. “Please, you can't tell anyone.”

“Alex you have to go to the police. They can protect you, and John.”

“No! No no no... He'll know! He'll find out. He always knows.” His voice dropped lower and George had to lean in to hear him. “He'll kill us George...”

“I won't let that happen. I promise you Alexander, I won't let anything happen to you. I'll take you and John- hell! I'll bring Hercules too. We can get out of the city. Please... My god... He's a murderer. As if what he was doing to you wasn't enough!” Alex stared crying again and George held him close to his chest. “I can help you...”

“No... I have to stay. And he's been so much better George.” He insisted. “He's been taking such good care of us. He hasn't hit me at all, he hasn't yelled.” Not entirely true but George didn't need to know that... “Nothing bad has happened.”

“Listen to yourself...” George held his face in both of his hands and looked down into his eyes. “He... He _killed_ Lafayette... And you want to stay with him?”

“I- I love him.” Alex choked on his words. “I do George, I really do.”

“And what about me?” Alex stopped short and just stared at him. “What about us?”

“There can't be an _us_ George!” He bit his lip to keep it from trembling, to keep himself from crying. “You dodged a bullet the last time we saw each other. Thomas knows what we did. He... The last person to put hands on me without his permission is dead. I already saved you once, I can't convince him to stay away from you again...”

“What did he do to you?”

“I took the beating for you. He would have killed you too. Please, just don't say anything to anybody about this. Any of this. And... I can't... I can't see you after this.”

“What?” Alex didn't want to see the hurt in George's eyes. “Alex what are you saying?”

“I can't see you again. It's for your own good. I'm so sorry... Thomas isn't taking John and I to the lounge anymore, and he's cutting down his own time there. He's only going in two full nights a week, and just going at the end of the night for closing counts every other night.”

“No. I'm... no. I'm not going to let him do this to you. Even if there can't be an us...” George was... crying. “I'm not letting him take you away from me.” His grip on Alex's arms tightened. “I can't let him do this to you.”

“George let go.” Fear flared up in Alex's belly and he tried to take a step back. The little spark of fear bloomed into full blown panic when George didn't let go. “That hurts- let go!”

“He's insane Alex! He's never going to let the two of you go. He's just going to keep taking and taking from you until there's nothing left. I'm not going to let him kill you two!”

“You're hurting me!” Alex snapped. George backed up a step, his eyes wide and scared.

“I'm- I'm sorry. Alex I'm sorry, please, just... Just listen to me.”

“I have to go. The service is starting soon.” Alex swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. “I'm sorry.”

“Wait.” George took him in his arms again, more softly this time, running his fingers through his hair gently and pulling him in to kiss him. Alex let it happen. If he was honest with himself he wanted this. George kissed slow and steady and it was just what he needed. He didn't want anything to do with Thomas right now and as much as he loved John, and kissing him, he didn't make Alex feel safe like this. He couldn't cover Alex like George could. “I'm sorry... Just... Wanted to kiss you one more time.”

“Thank you.” Alex kissed him again, soft and quick. “We... we should go.”

“We should...” George turned and unlocked the door. “I'll go first. You... You take your time. I need to go talk to Hercules anyway.” Alex nodded. He didn't want to open his mouth again. He was afraid of what he would say.

Once the door was shut again he leaned over the sink and ran the water, splashing his face a few times, trying to pull himself back together. It wasn't working. Now the water was just camouflage for the tears and he hoped the noise would cover the sound of his sobs.

“Alex? You in here?” John poked his head in. “Hey... hey, honey come here...” He grabbed a few paper towels and helped Alex dry off his face before pulling him into a tight hug. “I'm here... I've got you...”

 

The service was slow, and Alex blanked out for parts of it. Friend's of Lafayette's that he didn't know said a few words each and he just stared at his hands in his lap clasping one of John's. Hercules was sitting on his other side, then George, and Thomas on the other side of John.

“Alexander. It's your turn...” John gave his hand a squeeze and he stood slowly, keeping his eyes away from the casket. It was open and he didn't want anything to do with that. His mother's funeral had been an open casket... His cousin's funeral had been open casket... Aaron's funeral... He swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat.

“Hi- Hello, I'm... I'm Alexander Hamilton. Lafayette was... He was amazing. I don't know if there's anything else I can say that no one else has said.” He smiled. “He was a rock for me when I first came to the city. He and Hercules were the first friends I made here. He welcomed me into his home and his life with open arms. I lived with them for almost a year. I saw him at his lowest, and I saw him at his best when he got engaged.” He choked on the word. Hercules was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and George had a hand on his shoulder. “Lafayette was always there for me. He protected me.” He spared a glance at Thomas. “And tried to steer me down the right path. There was a time, when I first came here, I got in a fight with someone I was seeing.” He saw Thomas sit up a little straighter and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “I ended up with a broken rib and he was the one to take me to the hospital. He always looked out for my best interests and sometimes... Sometimes I wish I would have listened better. But I'm stubborn. He always said so.” Alex laughed and wiped at his eyes. “He was right... He was always right... He saved my life more times than I could ever hope to tell you. He was my best friend and... And I loved him...” Hercules stood and came to pull him into a tight hug.

“Thank you. It was beautiful Alex. You always had a way with words.” He smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Thanks Herc.” Alex took his seat with John again and waited. It was almost silent in the room, just the sounds of sniffling and the hum of the heating breaking the silence.

“I just wanted to say thank you all for coming. It means the world to me and I know it would have meant the world to Lafayette. There's uh... There's not much I can say. Not for lack of stories to tell or wanting to tell them... But I just... can't.” Hercules' voice wavered. “He was the light of my life... Like Alex said, he was everyone's protector. Everyone seems to think I'm the tough one, but hell I'm just a teddy-bear. Lafayette was a firecracker with a temper when it came to anyone hurting his friends.” Alex could see Thomas fidgeting out of the corner of his eye. “I don't think anyone in the world has more love in their hearts than he had. And I know that I'll never love anyone as much as I loved him...”

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be a long one too.  
> It was going to be a part of this one, but I wanted to get an update out this week and that wasn't gonna happen if I kept going.
> 
> Translations:  
> Aussi bien que je peux être, je suppose... Comment tenez-vous? Je sais que vous et Lafayette étaient proches. = As well as I can be I suppose. How are you holding up? I know you and Lafayette were close.  
> Tellement agréable à tou revoir Adrienne. Je souhaite qu'il était dans des circonstances différentes...= So lovely to see you again Adrienne. I wish it was under different circumstances...
> 
> Thanks for sticking around y'all.  
> Two chapters left.  
> Love you.  
> Be safe.
> 
> Alex
> 
> In other news: new fic “Ink Stains” will be starting soon, so keep an eye out for that.


	18. 1/1/17

Hey y'all.

 

Before you get too excited, I unfortunately don't have an update for you yet... It's getting there but I've been going through some pretty heavy shit the last few months and it's hard for me to focus on anything right now.

I really am sorry about the lack of updates. I've never really had a fic receive this much attention so I'm not sure what to do with all of it, but I want you all to know that I appreciate every single comment, kudos and bookmark that I get here, and on my other stuff.

Just wanted to check in and say a late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you, let ya know that I'm not dead in a ditch somewhere, and that updates will resume soon. There's only two chapters left here, so get ready!!

 

Be safe, be kind, show each other love, and happy (belated) holidays

Blessings Be and Much Love,  
Alex

also follow on Tumblr for just general bs alexander--reid (two dashes)


	19. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! LOOK WHO'S BACK! Who's got two thumbs and is finally out of his slump and has beaten writer's block? THIS GUY.
> 
> Okay. Here we go.  
> (by the by just for reference when ever I talk about Aaron, I'm using Chicago's Burr, Joshua Henry bc god DAMN. Don't get me wrong I absolutely ADORE Leslie but come oooonnnnnnnnnnn) ((translation: I wanna climb that man like a goddamn tree))
> 
> (also: this was written over the span of the last few months so, sorry if it's a little all over the place)

XOXO

 

Alex was determined to make Thomas stay as long as possible after Lafayette was buried. Seeing him uncomfortable was the only joy he got out of the day. But between the looks George kept shooting him and looking through old photo albums with Herc and John that joy didn't last long. All hopes of trying to fondly reminisce were dashed when he saw a picture of himself being lifted up by Hercules and Aaron with Lafayette laughing off to the side. Thomas didn't miss the way the smile left his face or the way he reached out to touch the edge of the picture. Of course he wouldn't miss that. He always saw. He always knew.

“Excuse me...” Alex got up and headed for the kitchen.

“How long has it been?” Hercules had followed him. Of course he would. Insightful as always. “Alex?”

“Three years next month...” Alex leaned on the counter and sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“Hey, Hercules I think I'm going to head home I- Alexander.” George stopped short in the hallway and Alex shrunk under his gaze. There was a new hardness in his eyes that he hated and he found himself wishing that he'd kept his mouth shut. George was his ticket out and he'd torn it apart. _Idiot_...

“Thanks for being here.” If Hercules noticed the change in their behavior, he didn't say anything, just shook George's hand and gave him a weak smile. “Let me know when you get home?” George nodded and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Of course.” Alex didn't look up, but he could feel eyes on him. “I'm sure I'll see you both around.” He almost flinched at that.

“Alex what the hell was that?” Hercules rounded on him and now he did flinch. “Did something happen?”

“Too much... I told him I couldn't see him anymore. I didn't... I don't want him to end up like Aaron. He was getting too close.”

“Then go.” Alex looked up when Hercules put his hands on his shoulders. “Just go, Alex. Now. I can keep Thomas busy. Take John, sneak out the back door. Anything. Please.”

“You know I can't-”

“Bullshit. Listen to me. If you don't go now, you'll never be able to. Lafayette told me to take care of you, so I'm taking care of you. I can't watch him kill you too...” Alex wanted to look away again.

“He won't.” He set his jaw, squared his shoulders and met his friend's eyes. “I promise. I'm not going anywhere and neither is John. We'll be fine.” Strong arms pulled him into a tight hug and he let the wall he had built around himself crumble. Hercules tried to shush him, letting him bury his face against his chest to cover the sound of his sobs. It didn't do much, Alex heard John running to the kitchen. It had to be John, Thomas would never run to him...

“Alex? Honey?” He lifted his head from Herc's chest, surprised.

“Tom...” He turned and wrapped his arms around Thomas' waist and rested his forehead on his shoulder. “I-I'm sorry... I-”

“You're okay doll...” There was a softness to Thomas' hold that he wasn't used to. “Why don't you come back out here? John found a nice picture from our anniversary.” Thomas leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek and lead him out of the kitchen and back to the couch where John was waiting for him.

“Are you okay hun?” John pulled Alex down into his lap and kissed his shoulder, putting a picture in his hands.

“I'll be fine...” Alex looked down at the picture and smiled a little. It was a shot of him with John on one side and Thomas on the other, each of them kissing him on the cheek. They all looked happy... A single tear fell on the middle of the picture and Alex felt John's arms tighten around him. “What happened...?” He whispered to himself. If John and Thomas noticed, they didn't say anything, but Hercules shot him a sympathetic glance.

 

The drive home mimicked the drive to the funeral home- Alex in the back seat, saying nothing, and John upfront with Thomas driving. Five minutes in John had fallen asleep. He'd been doing that a lot more lately. Just falling asleep in the middle of the day. Today he didn't think much of it. It had been a long day, it was taxing to be in a room full of people who were mourning. Alex had enough experience with this to not pay it any mind though. For him, being around death was just a way of life. He hated it, sure, but he could manage it. John had been lucky enough in his youth to not have to wonder and worry about which of his friends, family and neighbors would be the next to go, and the funerals he had attended had been for elderly grandparents that had lived full healthy lives. Until Aaron's three years ago. That was a memory that Alex would give anything to forget. Up until that point he'd never seen someone his age dead and it had him shaken for weeks.

He caught Thomas looking back at him in the rear-view and made a point of turning away to face the window after making eye contact. He could still see him out of the corner of his eye and his stomach clenched. There was no mistaking that look. It was hatred....

 

“Get in the house.” Thomas snapped when they pulled into the driveway. Alex stood stock still with his hand on the car door and chewed on the inside of his lip. John just looked away and made his way inside. There was no fire in him... no reassuring hand on his shoulder. There was no help from John anymore. He told himself it didn't matter- that he could get by without him, but he knew it was a lie. “Alexander. I said get in the house.”

“No...” The regret set in almost immediately when Thomas came around to his side of the car and grabbed him by the arm.

“What did you say to me?” His voice was low and his grip tightened when Alex shook his head again and answered.

“I said no. I'm not going in. Whatever you're going to do, do it out here.” Thomas glanced over at their neighbor's house and let go of Alex's arm when he saw the kids playing in the back yard.

“You can't stay out here forever. And I swear to fucking God, the longer you stay outside, the worse it's going to be when you wise up and get your ass inside.” He warned. “So. Think carefully about your choices Alexander. If you're not in by ten, you're not coming in at all tonight.” Alex swallowed the painful lump in his throat and looked down at his feet. He thought about the forecast for the week and shuddered when he remembered the promise of snow in the next couple days.

“I need time alone...” He whispered, hating the way his voice shook. “I need to think.” There was a moment, a split second, where Alex saw Thomas the way he used to be. The fire in his eyes died down and he put his hand back on his shoulder, more gently this time. It was almost more painful than if he had grabbed him. But the moment passed before Alex could start thinking about just following him inside and forgetting the whole thing.

“Fine. I'll just tell John that you needed to be _alone_. I'm sure he'll understand.” Thomas spat, turning and making his way up to the house. “Just remember what I told you. Ten o'clock.”

“Yes sir...”

 

John watched Thomas and Alex from the front window nervously, his knuckles turning white from how tight he was clenching his fists.

“Fucking coward...” He whispered to himself, his voice rasping it's way out of his throat. “Go back out there... Help him...” When Thomas turned and started coming back to the house, alone, John's heart stopped. From where he was standing, Alex looked like he was about to collapse, and if the look on Thomas' face was any indication, they were both in for a rough night. Part of him debated locking the door and running. He'd seen the way Thomas treated Alexander and he remembered what it was like to be on the receiving end of his fury very clearly, and just the thought of being back in that place was terrifying.

“John!” He snapped up when Thomas shouted at him. He was standing in the door, looking at him expectantly.

“Sorry, what?” He could feel himself shaking.

“I asked what you thought about what Alex said.”

“I'm sorry... I didn't hear you. I was thinking...”

“I said that he said he wanted to be alone.” Thomas was watching him expectantly. He didn't know what he was supposed to say to that. Alex needing some space after all that had happened today wasn't too surprising to him. But if he knew Thomas- and he did- he didn't want to hear reason. It was his game. He needed all of the pieces in his game to move just the right way and if they didn't they could be replaced...

“I think if he wants to be alone he should just come in and stay in his room...” He muttered, keeping his eyes on the floor. It was the easiest answer. Give Thomas what he wants -Alex coming inside- and give Alex what he wants -to be left alone. “We've all had a long day Tom... Just leave him alone, okay?”

“I'm sorry, what was that?”

“Tom please...” John sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I'm tired. You're tired. We're all exhausted. Can we just not fight for once?” He was expecting Thomas to hit him, so when he was grabbed by the arm and shoved up against the window, with his arm twisted behind his back, he shouted and struggled to get away.

“This isn't an argument John. This is disobedience.” Thomas hissed in his ear. “Both of you need to be reminded of your place.” John wanted nothing more than to run, but if he left, all of this would just get turned back to Alex again. Thomas' rage was just snowballing at this point and the longer John tried to talk him down, the worse it was going to get. Alex had taken the brunt of Thomas' frustration over the last couple years and John was sick of seeing it.

“I'm sorry Thomas.” He breathed. Alex had turned back to face the house and started to storm up the walkway when he saw them. John gasped when Thomas' hand wrapped around his throat and Alex froze.

“Are you sure you still want him? Look at him. He's a fucking coward John. He'd rather see me hit you than come back in here and take it himself.” John didn't know why this tactic worked on him. Thomas had pulled this same shit with him so many times, and every time, he knew he was full of it. But yet... He thought on it every time. He wondered if Alex loved them, he wondered if it was worth it. He and Thomas had never had as many problems when it was just the two of them. Why did Alex always seem to complicate things?

“Of course I still want him with us.” He answered softly.

“Are you absolutely sure? John, baby, I could take care of him so easy. No one would miss him.” Thomas tightened the hand on his throat and ran the other down his side softly. Alex was frozen halfway to the house. “Think about it.”

“I don't want him to leave.” He repeated firmly. “And I don't want anything to happen to him. I love him, he loves us, and I know that you love him.”

“How long until he talks? You know he can't keep his mouth shut.”

“Knock it off Tom. He's not going to talk.” He squirmed in Thomas' arms, trying to get away from the window. He hated seeing Alex look this conflicted. He wanted to scream at him. But he didn't know what he would say. Would he beg him to run or beg him to stay...?

“Do you think he'd save you?” John's blood ran cold. “Would he put himself in harm's way to protect you?”

“Of course he would.” He tried to keep his voice from shaking. He wanted to say that he would do the same but too many times he'd sat aside and watched Thomas take his frustrations out on Alex. Would Alex really put himself in front of John when he was already the focus of so much anger? “Yes. He would.”

“Let's see then.” John didn't have any time to react when Thomas grabbed a handful of hair at the nape of his neck and tugged him back away from the window. He hit the floor, elbows first, and the breath was knocked out of his chest.

“ _Shit_.” He coughed.

“Let's see how long it takes our little coward to come to your rescue.” John tried to push himself up, a little bit of the old fire that had burned in his chest before he'd met Thomas flaring to life. He didn't _need_ Alex to save him. That was the one thing Thomas never remembered to take into account. A heavy kick to the center of his chest was more than enough to douse that fire. The one thing _he_ always forgot to take into account... Thomas was bigger than him. This time the back of his head hit the floor with a crack and his vision blurred at the edges just long enough for Thomas to grab him again. His ears were ringing but he registered the sound of the door slamming and Alex yelling. He was right. They would always protect each other.

“Let him go. Get the fuck off of him.”

“Alex, this is your punishment. You didn't want to cooperate, so John gets it, and you get to watch.”

“No.” That got Thomas' attention and he let go of the front of John's shirt to turn on Alex.

“You've been using that word a lot lately haven't you?” He sneered. “Getting brave are you? You know I'm not a fan of disobedience.” John managed to stand when Thomas' back was turned but his knees were shaking and he couldn't catch his breath.

“You can't keep doing this...” Alex's voice sounded like it was caught in his throat. “Do you love us or not?”

“What would make you think I don't love you?” Thomas' voice was soft as velvet and he opened his arms for Alex.

“Ya see. I haven't been in many serious relationships but I'm _pretty sure_ you aren't supposed to threaten to murder your partners or their friends when things don't go your way.” Pride swelled in John's chest. He hadn't seen Alex stand up for himself like this in such a long time. This was why he had fallen in love with him.

“That's real fuckin' cute Alex, but you know how this goes. Now you get to decide. You wanna take this or do you want to watch John take your punishment.”

“Neither.” John's heart stopped when he saw the gun in Alex's hands and he heard the click of the safety.

“Put that down.” Thomas snapped. He didn't take shit like this. Alex's hands were shaking and John took a step back. “Have you fired a gun before Alexander?” Instead of stepping back, Thomas took a few steps forward. “Do you have any idea what you're doing?”

“You really think that little of me?” Alex wasn't backing down.

“You're going to hurt someone.” John jumped back when Thomas shot forward and grabbed Alex's wrist, twisting it away and knocking the gun out of his hand before he could pull the trigger. The struggle wasn't much, Thomas would always have the upper hand, but Alex would always put up a good fight. It didn't take long for Thomas to pin him on his stomach and John saw the fear in his eyes.

“Let him go!” He snapped, trying to find his voice again. Alex had come back for him... He'd pulled a stunt that could have gotten both of them killed. Could _still_ get both of them killed. Thomas didn't take threats lightly.

“He made his choice John. Now he's got to deal with the consequences.” Thomas glared up at him, and in the split second that he was distracted, Alex threw an elbow back into his stomach and squirmed free. “ _Fuck_.” He made a grab for Alex's ankle when he scampered away.

“Alex, Thomas. Stop.” John begged. “Please. That's enough.”

“I'm sorry John... I saw him grab you and... I couldn't let him...” Alex's hands were soft against his face.

“You pushed your luck today Alexander.” Thomas pulled himself back up to his feet and John squeezed Alex's hand. There was a few solid seconds of silence before Thomas shook his head and headed for the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” Alex looked down and away once the room was clear and John reached out to tuck his hair back behind his ear.

“I'm fine. Alex... That was stupid... That was so incredibly stupid...” John pulled him in for a kiss. “Do you have any idea what he could have done to you?”

“I'm sorry...”

 

Alex slept alone again that night. He couldn't look John in the eye, and he didn't want to be anywhere near Thomas. He hadn't said a single word since he'd walked out of the living room after their scuffle. His silence was frightening.

It took him longer to fall asleep than usual. Which was saying something. He tossed and turned for hours, but no matter what he did, he could still feel Thomas on top of him. And that brought a whole host of new problems when he tried to get comfortable on his stomach. He groaned when he shifted, his cock filling out in his boxers.

“Not now... God, _fuck_ , please not now.” He whined. He fumbled for his phone and sent John a quick text, he could hear him in the next room, he was sleeping alone too.

 

_To Turtledove: Come to my room. Please._

 

John was over in his room before he could think anymore on his decision.

“Hey.” He whispered, giving him a little smile.

“Hey to you too.” John sat on the edge of his bed and leaned down for a kiss. “How are you sweetheart?” Alex rolled over and laid his head on John's knee.

“Lonely. Will you stay here for a while?” John laughed a little and squirmed under the covers with him. Even in the relative darkness Alex saw him raise an eyebrow and smirk. “What?”

“You know what.” John rasped, pressing his hips against him. “This why you called me in here?” John's hands were on his waist, pulling him in close and Alex just sighed, kissing at his neck and shoulders, any part of him that he could reach.

“Wanted some alone time.” He breathed. “I don't get a lot of that these days.” He could feel John's cock pressing against his own and he shivered. “Want you to fuck me John. Please.” He begged. He knew he didn't have to, John didn't need to be convinced, but he knew that he loved it anyway.

“Of course. My god, Alex, of course.” John pinned him to the bed on his stomach gently, sliding his boxers down slowly. “Quietly my love.” He whispered, he'd grabbed the lube from the bedside table and wasted no time pushing two fingers in deep, leaning over Alex and kissing his cheek.

“Please- _fuck,_ more...”

“Be patient. Need you nice and open for me. I wanna take good care of you. You always take such good care of me.”

“I don't want you to be gentle with me John. I want you to fuck me.” Alex hissed when John pressed in a third finger, stretching him more and thrusting in deeper.

“ _Tan impaciente_.” John muttered, pulling out his fingers and slicking up his cock. “Remember, you need to be quiet. I don't want Thomas interrupting us this time.” Alex nodded and bit down on the sheets, rolling his hips back against John's. “You're so perfect Alex. God I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Alex's voice was muffled by the sheets, but he was grateful for it when John pushed in and the air was punched out of his lungs in a moan.

 

Everything moved too fast, but too slow at the same time. Alex could feel his release building , heat settling low in his belly, but it was just out of reach. John was bent over him, his breath hot on the back of his neck and his whispered praises made his head swim.

“I'm- Alex- can I?”

“Please John- please come. Let me come- I-” Alex whimpered and grabbed John's hand, smiling when he squeezed back and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

John came first and Alex followed soon after, choking on his moan and shuddering.

“I love you John.” He panted when John pulled out.

“I love you too baby.” John pulled the blankets up around them and held him close while their breathing evened out. “We'll get through all this mess, okay? I promise. We just need to give him time to cool off.” Alex nodded.

“We've always got each other.” He agreed. “It'll blow over.” It always did. What neither of them had anticipated was how long it would take for everything to blow over.

 

Thomas didn't say much to them the next day. Just asked the simple questions- how they slept, what they wanted to eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner. He asked if Alex was okay when his shoulder stuck and didn't quite pop.

 

The day after was easier. Thomas was sweeter than he had been in a long time. He treated them with a day out, keeping them on either side of himself with that sly, charming grin that he wore so well. He was quick to get them anything they glanced twice at.

“Any requests for dinner?” They were in Central Park, John stretched out in the sun, Alex propped up against a tree reading, when Thomas asked, tipping his sunglasses down to get a better look at both of them.

“I'm up for anything.” John answered, not opening his eyes. “Alex?”

“Whatever you want, Tom.” Alex shrugged, holding his place with one finger and pushing his glasses up into his hair.

“You boys spoil me.” Thomas smiled, leaning over to kiss Alex's cheek.

“Yeah.” John scoffed. “ _We_ spoil _you_.” He cracked one eye open, smiling up at the clouds and admiring the way the new gold band that Thomas had bought him wrapped around his middle finger. “Hey do you guys know if it's supposed to rain today?”

“No idea. Why?” John propped himself up on his elbows and nodded toward the horizon.

“Looks like rain.”

“We should get going then.” Thomas tucked his phone back into his pocket once he stood up then turned to hold a hand out to help Alex up. “There's a nice place down on 39th and Lexington that I think you'll like.”

“What were you doing on 39th?” John joked when Alex helped him to his feet.

“Had a meeting with Jemmy and a new business partner. He suggested it. Lovely place. Quiet. Out of the way.” Thomas rested his chin on top of Alex's head and grinned. “Trust me, you'll both love it.”

“You haven't steered us wrong yet.” John stood up on his toes to kiss Thomas, then dropped back down to kiss Alex.

Dinner was lovely, even with the couple at the next table that kept shooting the three of them dirty looks whenever they laughed too loud or mentioned anything about their relationship. Until, of course, John shot them a smoldering glare of his own before grabbing Alex by the back of the neck and pulling him in for a bruising kiss. Alex sputtered and laughed when the woman next to them gasped and clutched the pearls around her neck, waiving over the maître d' who barely glanced at Thomas when she whispered something to him before he shook his head.

“Awful bold of you.” Alex teased, lacing his fingers with John's under the table and leaning against his shoulder.

“Don't like hearing people talk about us like that.” He grumbled back. Alex rolled his eyes and kissed his cheek, smiling when Thomas' hand rested on his knee.

 

Days ticked by and Alex wouldn't have noticed if it hadn't been for Thomas' schedule. He went to the lounge every other day to do counts, but now he left Alex and John at home, leaving them each with a kiss on the cheek and a quiet ' _be good_ ' before he disappeared for a few hours.

“What do you think takes him so long?” John asked breathlessly one night. It was close to four in the morning, Thomas had left around one, and Alex was wrapped around him, holding him tight.

“Don't know. Don't care.” He muttered against John's shoulder. “I get to spend alone time with you and that's all that matters.”

“You do care.” John sighed back.

“I really don't. He's a grown man, he can look after himself.” Alex squeezed a little tighter when John started shivering and pulled the comforter up over the two of them, glancing over at the digital alarm clock on the night stand. He was a little worried. But he knew that Thomas would always come back to them. Thomas wasn't back that night, or the next day. He didn't come back until Thursday morning with no explanation. But then again, Alex never asked.

 

Another week crept by. John had started pulling out Halloween decorations and Alex tried to ignore the way that his hands shook while he hung cobwebs from the porch. He tried to ignore the quiet, whispered conversations that John and Thomas had in the middle of the night when they thought he'd fallen asleep.

John's birthday was a fairly quiet affair, at his request. The three of them went to dinner and a movie, and for once tried not call too much attention to themselves. John insisted on going home straight after with a couple bottles of wine and left over movie theater popcorn.

They stayed in on Halloween while Thomas was at the lounge and passed out candy together, smiling and complimenting costumes and ignoring the disapproving glances some of the parents shot at them when they noticed how close together they were standing, or the way that John kept his arm wrapped protectively around Alex's waist. In between groups of kids they were curled up on the couch under the comforter from their shared bed, sneaking kisses and trying to press cold fingers against any warm skin they could find, then mourning the loss of warmth when the doorbell rang again.

 

November brought on colder weather and even colder treatment from Thomas. He'd been so accommodating over the last couple of months that Alex had almost forgotten any other way of life, but one bad day threw them back into the cycle.

“I said _enough_ Alexander.” Alex reeled back, his heart stopping, when Thomas raised his voice and a hand to him. He'd been asking if he was okay since he'd gotten home and wasn't taking a grunt and a shrug as an answer. “Everything is fine. Not that it's any of your business.”

“He's just worried! Why do you have to be so shitty about it?” John snapped from the other side of the kitchen. “Seriously...” He turned back to the cutting board and shook his head after Thomas stormed out the front door.

“You don't have to stand up for me...” Alex muttered, leaning on the counter and unlocking his phone.

“I know.”

 

It wasn't until the middle of December that Alex noticed that John was acting strange again. He'd stopped sleeping in the middle of the day a couple weeks after Lafayette's funeral. He'd gotten back to a normal schedule. But lately he seemed lethargic again. A crash from the kitchen made Alex jump, the ornament he had been about to put on the Christmas tree slipping from his hand and shattering on the hardwood floor.

“Fuck!” He hissed, sliding back to avoid the small glass shards.

“John?” Thomas was up from his spot on the couch where he had been writing out Christmas cards. There was no answer from the kitchen and Alex saw fear in Thomas' face. “John!” The two of them made a b-line for John and found him curled up in the corner, his head between his knees and his hands over his ears. He was shaking.

“John, _querido_ , are you alright?” Alex crouched down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in against his side and squeezing gently.

“I'm sorry-” he gasped. “Thomas- _je suis d_ _é_ _sol_ _é_ _-_ I'm so sorry.”

“Baby what's wrong? What happened?” Thomas knelt down in front of them and put tipped John's face up to look into his eyes. Alex caught sight of the shattered Pyrex dish on the floor.

“I'm sorry.” John repeated, tears gathering in his hazel eyes. “It slipped. My hands were wet and-”

“It's okay.” Thomas pulled John up so that he was on his knees and hugged him close. “John, it's okay. Accidents happen.” He smiled a little and kissed the top of John's head. “We'll clean it up and get another. It's alright.”

“I'll clean it up. And the ornament in the living room.” Alex gave Thomas' hand a small squeeze as he stood and his boyfriend nodded as a way of showing that he'd heard.

“Come on John. Come lay down for a bit.” He watched Thomas help John to his feet and lead him into the living room before grabbing the roll of paper towel off the counter and kneeling down to pick up the pieces of glass. He could hear Thomas and John talking quietly in the next room and his heart sunk when he heard John sob out a small 'please'. He knew what he was asking for. He'd tried to ignore it, but every night he heard the rattle of pills against plastic bottles or John and Thomas would leave the bed for a while once they thought he was asleep. He knew that John was using again. He tried to ignore it... Tried not to let it bother him. But every time he heard the other man sobbing from the next room over or saw him drift off in the middle of the day... saw the way his pupils were dilated so wide that he couldn't see the hazel of his iris. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand as he worked.

Thomas hated it when he cried.....

 

“I want you two to come to work with me tonight.” Alex was caught off guard when Thomas spoke later that night at dinner. “It'll be good for you both to get out of the house for a little while.” He spoke softly and with a smile. Any other time Alex would have melted into the affectionate tone but something felt wrong... He and John hadn't been to the lounge in months, and Thomas always seemed to go out of his way to avoid it whenever they went out. John just nodded. He'd calmed down since the incident with the casserole dish earlier and Alex did his best not to grind his teeth thinking about _why_ John was so mellow.

“Any other reason?” He asked, trying for a casual tone as he picked at the last bits of his dinner.

“I hired in some new employees.” Thomas gave him a look over the top of his wine glass as he took a sip. “I wanted you to meet them. I've been thinking that it's time for you both to come back.” John's shoulders tensed a little and Alex knew that Thomas saw. He always did.

“I'll go get changed.” John was up and gone before either Alex or Thomas could say anything to him so they sat and watched him go, a little slack jawed. He hadn't moved that fast in weeks.

“I'll go with him.” Alex offered, making a move to stand as well.

“Alex.” Thomas grabbed his wrist and ran his thumb over a small scar on the back of his hand. “I love you.” Alex smiled but his blood ran cold.

“I love you too Tom.” He bent down and pressed a kiss to Thomas' cheek before picking up his dishes, putting them in the sink and following John upstairs, trying to ignore the prickling sensation of Thomas' eyes on him as he left. He was almost positive that he didn't want to know what was waiting for them at the lounge...

 

XOXO

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!! So I'm back. I just wanna take a second to say thank you so so so much to all of you who've left supportive comments over the last couple months. I was having a rough time getting my life sorted out, I started taking medication again, and I've been running on a schedule for a couple months now. I needed to take a break from really writing to get all that in order, but I think I've got it now- so you can expect the last chapter of this fic soon, as well as more new work from me! I can't promise that it'll all be Hamilton related, since I've been flung into a couple other fandoms lately, but there will be more Hamilfics from me, I promise!
> 
> You're all so wonderful, and I couldn't ask for better readers. Thank you so much for keeping my spirits up and helping me get through the fog so I can get this finished.
> 
> Comments, kudos, and bookmarks make all this craziness worthwhile.
> 
> Be safe, be kind, show each other love, and don't let fear take control of you my dears.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	20. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys and Thomas make their return to the lounge, but with George and Herc there, how well will that go?  
> Let's find out.

XOXO

 

Alex groaned and cracked his eyes open, squeezing them shut again immediately- the shades were open. Thomas hardly ever opened the blinds this early. Was it early? He rolled over, alone in bed, and fumbled for his phone. It was three in the afternoon. It took a moment for the time to set in but when it did, he jumped up and scrambled out of bed.

“Thomas- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sleep this late. You should have woken me up I-” He stopped short in the kitchen. John and Thomas were no where to be seen, but there was a familiar face waiting for him. “What are you doing here?”

“Thomas asked me to stop by. He had some documents that he wanted me to drop off.” Charles smiled over the rim of his coffee cup. “Figured I'd hang around for a while. You know where he went?”

“No. I want you to leave Charles. You dropped off what Thomas wanted you to drop off, now you can leave.” Alex was hyper aware of the fact that he was just in his sweats when he crossed his arms over his chest and Charles gave him a once over.

“Now, why would I want to do that? I'm just here to pay my good friends the Jefferson's a visit.” He smirked, leaning on the counter. Alex could feel his ears turning red. “Though I don't think Tom should leave his pretty little house wife all alone.”

“Don't call me that.”

“Oh darlin' don't lie to yourself. That's exactly what you are.” Charles took a step forward and reached out to tip Alex's chin up. “He really shouldn't leave you alone. Who knows what could happen to you.” Alex froze up when Charles backed him against the counter, putting his hands on either side of his hips and leaning in close.

“Leave me alone.” He hated the way his voice cracked and he looked away. His throat already hurt. He hadn't talked this much in a week...

“Don't you like me anymore Alexander?” Charles teased, wedging a knee between his legs. “Tommy won't mind if I just-” He leaned in, grabbing Alex's hair and tugging his head back to get access to his neck, biting down at the junction of his neck and shoulder.

“Stop it!” He put his hands up on Charles' chest and pushed him back. “You can stay here and wait if you want but I'm going back to my room.” He snapped. “Leave me alone.”

“You don't get to talk to me like that.” Charles grabbed his arm when he tried to pass and yanked him back. “And you don't get to walk away from me.”

“This is my house.” Alex yanked his arm away and backed up. “And I'd like you to leave.”

“This ain't your house sugar.” Charles was faster and grabbed him again before he could get very far. “If anything, you're just passing through. You really think Thomas is going to put up with you much longer?” Alex's heart stopped. Thomas wouldn't really... get rid of him would he?

 

Alex gasped and sat up straight when a soft hand touched his shoulder. He blinked and rubbed his temple with a groan. He'd fallen asleep in the car... Charles wasn't there. John was holding his hand. He was fine. Everything was okay.

“You alright Alex?” John kissed his forehead. “You were getting a little twitchy there baby...”

“I'm fine.” He didn't like being short with John, he really didn't... He loved John... But he was still angry with him. He didn't even protest when John pulled his hand away slowly. He caught Thomas' glance in the rear view mirror. He looked... Concerned? Curious? He couldn't place it, but at least he didn't look angry.

“Alex...” John tried again when Thomas parked at the curb in front of the lounge.

“I'm fine John.” He snapped, yanking his hand away and getting out of the car without looking back. He just wanted to get tonight out of the way. He hadn't been back since the night Lafayette died and he wasn't looking forward to being up at the bar without his friend behind it.

“Alexander.” Thomas grabbed his shoulder and frowned at him. “What's gotten into you?”

“Just tired. That's all. I really don't want to be here...” Alex looked down and jerked his shoulder out from under Thomas' hand. “Let's get this over with.” He straightened his shoulders and pushed the double doors open before James had a chance to do it for him, ignoring the look that Thomas and John exchanged, wide eyed with surprise. He took a quick look around, spotting Hercules on the other side of the bar and making his way to him as fast as he could.

“Alex!” Hercules seemed to brighten up a bit when he caught sight of him, opening his arms and welcoming a hug. “Where have you been?”

“Tom kept us home.” Alex plastered on his politician's smile. “Thought it would be easier on us if we didn't come by for a while because well.. You know.” His smile faltered a bit and he stole a glance at Lafayette's old spot at the bar, his heart twisting when he saw someone else there, a photo of Laf hanging up above the bottles.

“Yeah... I get it. I'm just glad to see you again. You look... You look good Alex.”

“Thanks.” Alex felt a blush spreading on his cheeks. He knew there weren't any fresh bruises that Herc would be able to see. “You look good too.” He needed to get though the night... He needed to play his part.

“Well well! Look who it is! I thought Thomas was keeping you on a shorter leash these days.” Alex's facade started to crack when a cold hand wrapped over the back of his neck. “I'm surprised he let you out by yourself.”

“He didn't.” He forced out through grit teeth. “He's talking to James at the door. And I am allowed out on my own.” The lie burned in his throat but no one needed to know that. “What are you doing here Charles.”

“Tom didn't tell you? I'm the new head of security. So don't you worry about anything darlin' I've got my eye on you.” Charles grinned and Alex gave him a tight lipped smile in return.

“How's everything looking around here Charlie?” Alex took a step away when Thomas came up and clapped Charles on the shoulder. “Everything running smooth?”

“Of course. Oh, actually, I did have a few things I wanted to discuss with you, if you've got a minute.” Thomas nodded and Alex's stomach flipped when Charles smiled at him. Hercules must have noticed how he froze up because he put a hand on his shoulder before Thomas ushered him along down the hall after Charles with John on his other side.

 

The night wore on too slowly, and the sick feeling in Alex's stomach was persistent. He picked at his nails while Thomas and Charles talked in the office and kept his eyes on the floor as much as he could. The carpets had been replaced. He couldn't say that he cared for the color. It was dark. Something that would hide stains so, so nicely. In a home with kids or pets it would have been lovely but here... in the office that Thomas kept spotless, the office where he'd originally opted for a bright white carpet... it was just a tad unnerving. Even though he tried to ignore it, he couldn't help but notice the way Charles kept looking at him. He hated it. It made his skin crawl. And when he and Thomas stood and shook hands his heart stopped.

' _No... fuck no... Not again. No, no, no._ ' He held his breath and reached out for John's hand, finding a little bit of comfort in the warm fingers that laced with his. John squeezed his hand when Charles stepped away from the desk but he relaxed when he headed for the door and Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

He stayed by John's side the rest of the night, trying to keep his nerves under control when people started filtering out. When the place had emptied down to the two of them sitting at the bar under Lafayette's picture with Hercules, James by the door and Thomas flicking through bills in the till Alex couldn't help noticing the stain that still persisted on the light hardwood floor where Lafayette had spent his last moments. The cleaning crew, and time, had done a good job of fading it, but Alex could still see it... He was sure he'd be able to see it years from now. He couldn't focus on the conversation that John and Hercules were having, he didn't really want to hear, but he was thankful for the constant weight of John's hand on his knee.

“Are you two ready?” He tried not to jump when Thomas leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“Yeah.” John jumped down off of his stool and Alex reached out to steady him when he swayed a little.

“Mulligan. Lock up for me.” Thomas tossed the keys to Hercules who nodded, his jaw clenched tight. “Good night James.” He waved as he passed the doors with John and Alex in tow.

“Night Tom. Alex.” James nodded at him and Alex tried to read his expression. He seemed worried. It was probably nothing. It had to be nothing...

 

Thomas' car was warm, but it was never as warm as his bed and Alex sighed happily as he settled down next to John. It felt so good to be back in this bed with the two men he loved the most. It'd been far too long since he'd felt this relaxed, despite the events of the evening, and he was looking forward to a good night's sleep. John was already fast asleep by the time Thomas slid in behind Alex and wrapped a strong protective arm around his waist, pulling him up close to his chest.

“I love you Alexander. You were so good for me tonight.” Alex smiled into his pillow at Thomas' praise. “You'll stay with us wont you?”

“Of course I will. You know I will. I love you Tom. You and John. I love you so much.” He put a hand over Thomas' and squeezed, earning himself a kiss on the neck.

“That's right.” Alex was starting to drift off. It had been a long night. He was exhausted. He just wanted to sleep. He wouldn't be sure if he'd dreamed Thomas' next words or not until the next day. “You'll never leave me.”

 

John was the first up the next morning. He smiled when he saw Alexander and Thomas wrapped in each others' arms. It wasn't often that he got to see them like this. Totally at ease with each other and peaceful. He leaned down to press a kiss to Alex's forehead and chuckled lightly when he whined in his sleep. He got up to go to the bathroom and wash his face and by the time he came back Thomas and Alex were starting to wake up.

“Morning.” He hummed. “Hungry?”

“Yeah.” Thomas ran a hand back through his hair, Alex yawning and nodding next to him.

“I'll go start something.” John smiled and kissed each of his boyfriends quickly, leaving them to get up in their own time while he when down to the kitchen.

Alex came down first, still rubbing sleep from his eyes and John slid a cup of coffee across the counter to him, getting a small smile and another yawn for his efforts.

“Sleep well?” Alex asked him, settling into his spot at the counter and spooning some sugar into his coffee.

“Like a rock. You?” Alex hesitated for a moment before he nodded.

“Yeah. I slept pretty well. Better than I have in a while.” John didn't bother calling him out on his lie. He looked a little more relaxed, more rested, but his shoulders still looked tense and the circles under his eyes were as dark as they had ever been. He wished that Alex would talk to his doctor about his sleep habits but if he didn't want to, it was his own business. He was already taking medication for his anxiety and even that seemed to be a chore for him. He'd never liked taking medications so John doubted that he'd want to take something to help him sleep.

“You both look so lovely in the morning.” John and Alex turned to see Thomas leaning against the wall smiling at them. John huffed when Thomas came and moved him out of the kitchen, planting a kiss on the top of his head. “Let me take care of breakfast.” Alex was watching him with an odd frown as he stirred his coffee.

“You alright?” He asked.

“Yeah... Tom... When we were going to bed... Did we talk?”

“For a little bit, yeah.” Thomas turned and leaned against the counter on the other side of the kitchen. “Why do you ask, doll?” Alex licked the coffee off of his spoon before he set it on the white marble counter top to avoid a stain, and took a long drink.

“Just wasn't sure is all. I was real tired. I thought I might have dreamed it...” His frown hadn't faded.

“What's the matter?” John asked, taking the spoon for himself, rolling his eyes at Alex when he grimaced. He'd sucked the man off for years but he still reacted like this when they shared silverware.

“No, it's nothing. I was just confused. What did we talk about?”

“About you leaving us.” John froze and waited. “You said you wouldn't. That you loved us.” He covered his sigh of relief by blowing on his coffee. “It was the right answer Alex.” Thomas' smile wasn't quite right. “You won't leave. You can't leave.” Alex's fingers tightened a little around the handle of his mug and the color drained from his face.

“I'd never dream of it.” He whispered. John held his tongue and sat with him while Thomas cooked, that same small smile playing on his lips the whole time. It was probably nothing... It had to be nothing...

 

The day passed with a comfortable silence between the three of them, most of it spent in the living room, with the fireplace lit and shitty daytime TV on as background noise, the occasional outburst at a ridiculous statement that usually devolved into laughter making Alex feel more at home than he had since Christmas. He leaned against Thomas' shoulder while they watched a rerun of Judge Judy and found himself nodding off after Thomas wrapped an arm around him. He vaguely registered the conversation he was having with John as he napped, something about going back to the lounge again that night. He couldn't be bothered to give any input. If Thomas wanted to bring them back to work, it was fine. He wanted to see Hercules again anyway.

 

“Alex? Honey, I've gotta get up.” Alex groaned when Thomas moved him off of his lap. “You can keep napping doll. I'll be back in a bit.” He smiled when he got a soft kiss. When Thomas' footsteps had faded down the hall, Alex felt the couch dip a little and his head was picked up again, just to be put back down in another lap.

“Hey John.” He sighed, snuggling closer while John played with his hair. “We going back to work tonight?”

“Yup.” There was a smile in John's voice. “I think we're leaving in a couple hours. Thomas went to make dinner.”

“What time is it?”

“About six thirty.” John's fingers never stopped running through his hair and Alex nodded off again in minutes, the quiet sounds of his home lulling him into a false sense of security.

 

Something had happened between the time Thomas had started dinner and the time they sat down to eat. The softness from the day had disappeared and there was a sharp edge to him now that made Alex nervous. He hated when Thomas got like this. He was unpredictable. It was terrifying.

“Is everything okay?” Alex looked up sharply when John asked the question. Thomas hated being pestered when he was in a mood like this. He was prone to lashing out. He waited for Thomas to answer, holding his breath with his glass held to his lips. It felt like an eternity before he did. His voice was quiet. Dangerous.

“Don't worry about it.” John glared but went back to his dinner without another word and Alex sighed softly. It was better to just leave Thomas alone when he was angry. It couldn't come back to them that way. Alex picked up his plate and slipped back into the kitchen quietly to start cleaning up before they left. “Alex, you can leave it for now. Go get ready to go.”

“Oh.. Alright.” Alex gave Thomas a small smile on his way to the stairs. “John? Will you help me pick something?”

“Of course.” John left his plate in the sink and joined him in the bedroom, pulling open the closet doors. “What do you think happened? He got a phone call while he was making dinner. I don't know who he spoke with but whoever it was really pissed him off.” He mused.

“No idea.” Alex hooked his chin over John's shoulder and frowned into the closet, settling on a red v-neck and a thick sweater. “I'm sure he'll be fine by the time we get home though.” He had no way of knowing how wrong he was...

 

 

George waited in his car for a good ten minutes before getting out and heading for the lounge. He hadn't been back since Lafayette's funeral. He was almost too nervous to go back. But the nagging feeling that he needed to see Alex again hadn't gone away in weeks. The last time he'd seen him hadn't ended on the best note and he wanted to put things right. He wanted to tell Alex how he felt again, to maybe try to offer him a way out again. He knew it was no use, especially with Thomas around, but he needed to try.

“Mr. Washington.” It was James Madison that greeted him at the door and his heart sank a little.

“Evening James. Where's Mulligan?”

“He's manning the back of the bar right now. He'll be glad to see you.” James offered him a tight smile and a pat on the arm. It was probably nothing... It had to be nothing...

 

Thomas seemed to have loosened up by the time they got to the lounge and Alex fed off that, pushing just a little more to reach over and take his hand. He was pleasantly surprised when Thomas didn't swat his hand away, and smiled a little to himself when the went in. His smile disappeared and he choked on a gasp when he saw George waiting for a drink at the bar. If Thomas noticed he didn't say anything, but John noticed and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I'll be back in a bit. Behave.” Thomas all but growled in Alex's ear before kissing him soundly and moving on to John. He nodded and watched him go, not noticing that George had caught sight of him.

“Alexander...” He jumped, his breath catching in his throat.

“George. How are you?” He looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes. “It's been a while...”

“I'm fine. And the two of you? Are you alright?” Alex thanked his lucky stars when John answered for him.

“We've never been better.” John's smile was as well placed and flawless as Alex's was, and his voice was sugar sweet. “Thomas has been wonderful. I think the... incident with Lafayette's really changed him.” Alex swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and looked up, begging with his eyes for George to stay quiet. He'd told him the truth about Lafayette's death at his funeral, but John didn't know that. Nobody knew that.

“Is that so?” He shot Alex a look and John nodded. “Well I'm glad to hear it. You two deserve the world, and I'm glad he can give it to you.” George's hand on his shoulder did nothing to relieve the tension in Alex's stomach. If anything it made it worse. He could feel eyes on his back but he didn't dare turn around. He didn't want to interrupt the conversation that John and George had started, but he couldn't focus on it either. Nothing felt right. His skin crawled and he did his best not to chew on his already cracked lips as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hyper aware of his own breathing.

“I'm... I'm going to find Thomas..” He muttered, brushing George's hand off of his shoulder and ducking away before either of them could say anything. He hadn't really intended on finding Thomas but bumped into him in the hall that led to the office and the back door.

“Alexander?” It had been a while since Alex had seen Thomas look worried for him. He couldn't really say he was surprised at his reaction though. Alex was almost never alone in the lounge. He and John were attached at the hip whenever they came here. “Is something wrong?”

“Just came to get a cigarette.” He lied easily. Thomas fished in his jacket for the pack and handed it over along with a lighter. “Thank you.” Alex leaned up to kiss his cheek, leaning against him a little longer than he really intended to. Enjoying his warmth and the scent of his cologne. “I love you..” His voice cracked a little. He knew it wasn't a lie. He did love Thomas. He wanted to stay.

“I love you too, doll.” Thomas smiled. “Be careful outside. And come find me when you come back in, alright?”

“Of course.” Alex offered a small smile of his own and headed out the back door. He leaned against the wall next to the ashtray and lit his cigarette with a sigh. He didn't smoke often anymore, but it was still a quick fix for nerves at the end of the day once his medication had worn off. The first couple drags burned and he coughed a little, frowning at the pack. He usually asked for lites but both Thomas and John were fond of reds. It wasn't a big deal, but it was a little harsh.

 

He was almost done with his second cigarette when he heard it. Angry shouting from inside. He stomped out the last of the cigarette quickly, yanking the door open and rushing back in. He could see Thomas standing over somebody, John just behind him, wide eyed and slack jawed. Alex felt the fear rising in his throat as he got closer.

“What the hell is going on!?” His voice came out scratchy and a little cracked but he couldn't find time to care. Some of the panic died down when he saw George just off to the side, giving whoever was on the floor a disdainful look. As long as George and Thomas weren't fighting it was okay. He would be okay as long as they weren't at odds.

“Fucker grabbed John.” George answered. Thomas still had his fist clenched, ready to take another swing when Hercules pushed his way through. Alex could count on one had the number of times he'd seen him this angry.

“Get up.” He shivered when Herc grabbed the front of the guy's jacket and hoisted him to his feet. He was holding a bleeding nose and spitting curses at Thomas from behind his hand. “Now get the fuck out.” He ordered.

“If I _ever_ catch you in here again you'll have much more than a broken nose to worry about.” Thomas' voice was low and even. He was good at masking his rage in public, even when it was clear that he didn't have to. Most of the people standing near them were shooting the stranger dirty looks. It was clear that he wasn't a regular. Everyone that'd been there more than once knew that John and Alex were off limits. “James, Mulligan. Keep an eye out for this piece of shit in the future.” Hercules gave Thomas a stiff nod and James held the door open for him with a glare.

“John are you okay?” Alex cupped John's cheek with one hand and touched their foreheads together once the door had slammed shut and the patrons of the bar went back to their own business.

“I'm fine. He just surprised me is all.” John assured him with a quick kiss. “No harm done.”

“We're going.” Thomas was wiping his hands with a towel from behind the bar. “Come on.” Alex and John exchanged a quick look before following him to the door. “Thanks for letting me know what that piece of garbage tried to do George.” He added in passing.

“Anytime.” George's eyes lingered while he sipped his drink. Alex could feel them burning the back of his neck, but he didn't look back. He couldn't look back. He heard John mutter a quick thanks as well before catching up again.

“Be safe getting home.” Hercules laid a hand on Alex's shoulder while Thomas exchanged a few words with James. “Let me know that you get back safe.” His words settled heavy in Alex's heart and he opened his mouth to assure his friend that they would be fine but Thomas snapping at him to hurry up cut him off so he just nodded.

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO I LIED ON TUMBLR.  
> I thought this was going to be the last chapter but it was starting to run on a bit so I'm cutting it in half. The next (and last) chapter is almost done, and I promise to not leave this for a month before updating again. It'll be up by the end of the week and you have my express permission to dox me and come kick my ass if it's not.
> 
> God... It's been more than a year. I can't believe it! Thanks for all your continued support!
> 
> If you're a regular reader you'll know whats coming next: please leave comments, kudos, and bookmark my work if you enjoy it! Even if I don't get around to responding to every comment, I read every single one and they never fail to make me smile.
> 
> Be good. Don't smoke, kids. It's bad for you (I say as I hack up a lung)
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex
> 
> Come bother me on Tumblr! @ alexander--reid


	21. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've come to the end...  
> Ready?  
> Let's go.

XOXO

 

There was a heaviness in the air on the way home that was almost suffocating. Alex could understand though. Thomas was possessive and protective of him and John, so this kind of reaction to someone grabbing John was perfectly reasonable. He only wanted to protect them... It was probably nothing. He had to believe that it was nothing.

But Thomas' hand on the back of John's neck as they made their way up to the house was more than enough to remind Alexander that it was _never_ “nothing”. It was always something with Thomas, and he and John would always be the ones that had to deal with it. He could see John's skin going white where Thomas' fingertips dug in, and the way that the muscle in Thomas' jaw twitched when John whined. He wanted so badly to believe that it was nothing...

“John...?” He tried reaching for John's shoulder, but drew his hand back as if he'd been burned when Thomas shot him a glare. “Tom... What is it?” Panic welled up in his chest and he fought to swallow it down so his boyfriend wouldn't hear it in his voice. “What's wrong?”

“He.” Thomas shoved John inside, pushing him with enough force that he stumbled and had to brace himself on the wall. “Knows exactly what's wrong. Don't you John?”

“Tom-” John swallowed, “Thomas... It wasn't what it looked like. I was trying to make him leave me alone.” He insisted as Thomas crowded in on him, pinning him to the wall. “I _swear_ Thomas. He came up while I was talking to Mr. Washington, but I didn't think anything of it until he tried putting a hand on my waist. I tried to tell him to go away but he wasn't listening- that's when Geor- Mr. Washington yelled at him and got your attention. I swear that's all that happened.” Tears were pooling in John's eyes and Alex's heart broke for him. It wasn't often that Thomas even _thought_ to accuse John of something like this, and the few times that he had, it had shaken John to his bones. Alex hated seeing him afraid of Thomas. He knew how much they loved each other, so any fighting between them was hard to see.

“I've seen him on you before.” Thomas wrapped his fingers around John's throat. “I've seen the way you talk to him.” The color was draining from John's face. Alex frowned and took a step forward, ready to get between them if he needed to. He'd never seen John talk to anyone other than Hercules or Lafayette without Thomas around.

“Thomas, you're drunk.” John rasped, putting a hand on Thomas' chest and starting to push him away. If Thomas was violent when he was sober... getting him angry when he was drunk was almost certainly a death sentence... Alex had only seen it happen a few times in the years he'd been with them. But each time had ended with a trip to the hospital for either himself or John, and he wasn't about to let that happen now.

“Tom, please...” He grabbed Thomas' arm.

“You think I don't see you? Both of you! Fucking around behind my back!” Thomas spat, yanking his arm away. “You think I'm blind!? You really think I'm just going to let the two of you do whatever the fuck you want when you think my back is turned!?”

“Thomas! Calm down!” Alex pushed his way between Thomas and John again, more forcefully this time, and Thomas stumbled back a step. “John would never do something like that to you! And neither would I!”

“I literally have you on tape begging for Washington's cock, Alexander! And I'm sure I could dig up something just as bad from you John.” Alex clenched his jaw. That was different. Thomas had _sold_ him off to George. Feelings be damned, it was a business transaction. He was doing exactly what Thomas had told him to do. He wanted to say as much, but the sway in Thomas' step as he closed in on them again was enough to shut him up. He reached one hand back to keep make sure John was close as they backed into the living room. John responded in kind by putting a hand on his shoulder. They were in this together. This time Thomas wouldn't be able to pit them against one another.

“We're going to bed Thomas.” Alex fought to keep his voice even. “You know John would never do that to you. He would never do that to _us_.” He insisted. Thomas had to know that it was true. Some part of him _had_ to realize that he was being paranoid. “We're going to go to bed. You need to sober up and think for a minute before you say shit like that to him.”

“The fuck you are.” Even when he was drunk, Thomas was still faster, still stronger. Alex yelped when Thomas grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked him to the ground, John trying to hold him up from behind.

“Let him go Tom!”

“Are you going to leave me too John!? Is he going to take you away from me?” John reeled back as if he'd been slapped. “I see... I see what's happening here.” He laughed and Alex tried to grab at his wrist, trying to loosen his grip and keep himself upright at the same time. “That jackass tonight. And Washington. They're going to take my boys from me aren't they? Or are you just thinking of running off on your own?”

“No!” Alex hissed out through his teeth. “Please- let go!” Thomas only relaxed for a moment to take his hand from Alex's hair then grabbed him again by the throat.

“You really think you can walk away from me that fucking easy? No... No, no, no Alexander.” Thomas' nose touched his and he could smell the whiskey on his breath with their lips mere inches apart. “Pretty Alexander... My sweet, lovely, darling Alexander. You can't leave. You can never leave. Don't you understand that?” His voice was smooth as silk and Alex's breath caught in his throat. “You too John. The only way you two are going to leave me is in a body bag, do you understand?” Alex felt a few stray tears roll down his cheeks. Thomas hated it when he cried... But he just kissed them away. “I love you _so fucking much_ Alexander. I can't let anyone take you away from me. And I know lovely John feels the same. Don't you John?”

“Tom-”

“You don't feel the same John? You want Alex to leave us? You don't love him anymore?” Thomas' voice rose with each question until he was shouting again and Alex squeezed his eyes shut when his grip on his throat tightened. “We can get rid of him John. If that's what you want.”

“No.” John shook his head, trembling. “No Thomas. Please. Please let him go. We just want to go to bed... That's all. We're just tired.”

“What do you think Alexander? Does John still love us?” Alex nodded, unable to speak. “So we shouldn't get rid of him?” He shook his head, gasping for air. Even when he was in a mood like this, Thomas could be merciful. He let go and leaned against the wall, letting Alex fall to his knees with John at his side. He was out of breath, his own hands shaking. Alex had never seen him like this. He'd completely lost it... “You boys...” He gasped through a laugh, shaking his head. “You really are something else, you know that? You just think that you can get away with shit like this! You think I won't fucking punish you!?”

“We're not trying to get away with anything!” John snapped. “We haven't done anything! How do we know you're at work those nights you don't come home? How do we know that _you_ aren't fucking around behind _our_ backs!?”

“You mouthy little brat.” Thomas' voice came out in a low growl. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“You think we don't wonder about you? That we don't worry about you!? Every single night you leave us here and we don't know if you're going to come back to us!” John was crying now and it twisted Alex's heart to see him like that.

“See, you don't have to worry about that John. Because I'm not a tramp like Alexander.”

“Don't talk about him like that!” Alex tried to grab John, tried to put himself between John and Thomas, but he wasn't fast enough, and he jumped back when the back of John's hand made contact with Thomas' cheek. Everything stopped. Alex held his breath. Thomas stared at John. And John stood toe to toe with Thomas, his shoulders back and eyes blazing. “Don't talk about him like that...” He choked. “He does so much for you, and all you do is treat him like your personal punching bag. Your own personal whipping boy. He does whatever you tell him and it's still not good enough for you!”

“When did you grow a fucking backbone?” Thomas smiled, cupped John's cheek, then grabbed his ponytail, dragging him down, while his fist collided with his stomach. John gagged when he was hit again, then again... then again. Alex tried to pull him away but Thomas just followed, hitting him in the jaw hard enough that he saw stars. A second blow was enough to get him to let go of John, almost putting him under.

“Fuck...” He heard John wheezing somewhere next to him. His ears were ringing and his vision was just static. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shake it off, choking when Thomas' foot connected with his ribs, feeling the same bones give out and crack from the force. He doubled over, holding his side and trying to catch his breath when he heard, what sounded like, Thomas and John wrestling a few feet away. There was a _pop_ and a scream and Alex forced his eyes open.

Thomas had John pinned on his stomach with his arm twisted behind his back at an unnatural angle with one hand, the other choking him.

“I give you everything!” He shouted. “I gave you a roof over your head when no one else wanted you! I gave you everything you ever wanted and this is how you repay me!? You're just as ungrateful as Alexander, John!” John's mouth hung open in a silent scream when Thomas yanked his arm back further. He tried to pull himself away with the arm that wasn't pinned but his movements were slow and strained. Alex could see his lips going pale and the way his eyes fluttered, half shut.

“Thomas- Stop!” Alex tried to shout but it came out as a wheeze. “You'll kill him!” Something seemed to click then, and Thomas stood up, panting. John slumped on the floor, his arm still stuck behind his back and Thomas making no move to put it back in place.

“I'm going to finish out the night.” He huffed, standing straight again and pushing his hair into place. “I swear to fucking god, Alexander. If either of you try to leave.” Alex looked up at him, trying to hold eye contact as best he could with his vision as blurry as it was. “I will find you. And I will fucking kill you. Do you understand me.” It wasn't a question...

“Yes, sir...” He croaked, still holding his side.

“We'll go in the morning to have you both looked at. You better think long and hard about what the men who broke in and did this to you look like.” His voice was cold, but then he was gone. The door slammed and Alex leaned against the wall with a low groan.

“John...?” He whispered once he heard Thomas' car door slam. “John can you hear me?” His head lolled to the side and he watched his boyfriend for a while. He was still breathing, but he was unresponsive. Not that Alex was surprised, his shoulder was out of socket and he'd been choked out for a solid few minutes, that would put damn near anyone down. “Shit...” He heaved himself to his knees, knowing full-well that if he tried to stand up, he'd go down like a ton of bricks, and shuffled to John's side, putting one hand on his shoulder and grabbing his arm tight with the other. “I'm sorry baby...” He pulled until he heard the _pop_ of the socket being put back in place and John wailed again. “I'm so sorry...”

“A-Alex...? Where..?”

“He left.” Alex sank back down to the floor, laying down and lacing his fingers with his love's. “Rest for a minute...” He fished in his back pocket for his cellphone. The screen was cracked but it still worked.

“Alexander...” John made a move to stop him when he pulled up Herc's contact information.

“We have to leave.”

“Alexander!” He sounded desperate now as he reached for the phone.

“Look around John! Look at where we are! Look at what he's done to us!” His voice was strained. “John he could have killed you....”

' _Not now..._ ' He scolded himself when he felt tears pooling in his eyes. ' _Don't you dare start crying now Hamilton._ ' Thomas hated it when he cried...

“We can't...”

“We _have_ to John...” Alex squeezed his hand. “I'm not going to watch him kill you...” John just stared at him. He hadn't made any move to get up yet, but Alex couldn't blame him for that. “He said he went back to the bar to close.. It's one AM now, so he'll be there until three, easy. That gives us a little time.”

“What if he comes back?”

“I'll take care of it.” He promised. “I'll take care of everything, you just stay here.” He heaved himself to his feet, leaning on the wall for support and trying to catch his breath. “I'll- I'll be right back John. W- Watch... Watch for Herc. He'll get us. He'll get us out of here.” Every breath hurt and Alex stared at his feet while he shuffled through the house, going back to little hiding places that he'd stored money in over the years. Just a few twenties here and there. Nothing Thomas would really miss. He grabbed the duffel bag he'd used when he moved in from his own closet and threw in most of the clothing he owned, along with his laptop and a photo album, before going across the hall to the room he and John shared with Thomas and digging through drawers until he found his spare medication next to two pill bottles full of pot and their pipe. He wrapped that carefully in a shirt and made his way back down the stairs. John had pulled himself up and was standing in the kitchen now, looking around slowly, his face blank.

“We can never come back...” He breathed. He was crying... “We can never come back Alex... This- this place is our home... There's so much here that's _ours_...” He ran his fingers along the marble counter-tops and stainless steel sink. Along the wine glasses and coffee mugs that were tucked against the wall. His eyes roamed up to the cupboards and ceiling, to the light fixtures and down to the immaculate hardwood floors.

“I know...” Alex set the bag down and came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist as gently as he could. “If there was another way John... I would take it. God what I wouldn't give for you to be able to stay here... Where you're happy and comfortable...” He buried his face in John's neck to hide the tears. Thomas hated it when he cried... “But we can't do this anymore.” John's whole body shuddered when he took a breath.

“...I know...”

 

Hercules sat in his car after his shift, lighting a cigarette and setting it in the ashtray to burn. He didn't smoke often himself, but this was Lafayette's brand... He just liked the smell. He crossed his arms on the steering wheel and rested his head on them with a sigh. It'd been months since he'd seen Alex and John, and Thomas just whisked them away... Part of him knew that John must have actually been shaken by what had happened, even if he was good at covering it up, but the other part was screaming at him to check on them. Alex had promised that he would text once they got home, just to let him know that they were safe. That was more than an hour ago. They should have gotten there by now.

Just as he was reaching for his keys, a familiar car pulled up in front of the lounge. He was down at the other end of the block but there was no mistaking Thomas' car. What was more worrying than Thomas coming back, was the sway in his step, and the glaringly obvious absence of Alexander and John. Almost as if on queue, the second the doors closed behind Thomas, Hercules' phone rang, Alex's name and number flashing on his screen.

“Alex what the hell happened? I just saw Thomas walk back into the lounge, alone. Where are you?”

“Herc, you need to come... Please...” Alex's voice was hoarse. “We've got a bag packed. Please. Come as soon as you can.”

“I'll be there in twenty.” He didn't bother saying goodbye, just tossed his phone into the passenger seat and put his car in gear, pulling away from the curb with a squeal of tires and Lafayette's cigarette still burning away in the ashtray...

 

Alex counted and recounted the money he'd picked up from his hiding spots around the house. His head was pounding and he didn't want to think but he had to. John sat beside him on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV, even though it was off.

“Three grand...” He sighed, tucking the bills into an envelope. “I locked our bedroom doors... If anything, Thomas will be too drunk to give a shit when he comes home tonight, and he'll leave us alone until morning. We'll be long gone by then John.” He tried to smile, but John just kept staring. “I'm sorry...”

“Not your fault...” John blinked slowly. “I should have seen it sooner... Why didn't I see it sooner...?”

“We loved him.” Alex took his hand.

“ _Love_ him...” John corrected, lacing their fingers together. “I still do... I don't think I'll ever stop loving him.” His voice shook with the admission.

“I don't think I will either...” Alex reassured him. Headlights turned down their road and the high beams flashed twice as the car pulled into the driveway. “That's Herc.” He got up and flicked the porch light on and off twice in response, signaling for Hercules to come inside. When he did, he stopped in his tracks.

“Fuck...” He breathed, pulling the both of them into his arms. As much as he wanted to stay like this, Alex had made his plan and they needed to stick with it.

“We need to go. I just needed help with the bags.” Hercules nodded and hefted the two bags onto his shoulders, setting one down to pop the trunk and fitting them in with his own bag while Alex made sure John was comfortable in the backseat.

“Are you sure you'll be okay?” He pushed John's hair off of his forehead.

“I'm fine. Herc needs you to navigate. I'll just sleep for a while.” Alex nodded and leaned down to kiss him.

“I love you so much John...” He whispered. “We can do this. I promise we'll be okay.”

“I know we will. I love you too.”

 

Alex had thought of this more times than he cared to admit, but now he was glad for it. He knew exactly what he had to do to make this work. He had Hercules stop at a gas station two cities over and gave him cash to buy a prepaid cellphone, quickly saving a couple numbers in the contacts before pulling the SD cards out of his and John's old phones and tucking those in the glove box for safe keeping. He tossed one phone, then the other out the window on the highway, a few miles apart. It was late enough that he wasn't concerned with anyone seeing. He gave Hercules directions to the best of his memory, telling him which rest stops were decent and which ones needed to be avoided at all costs.

“Who are you calling?” John asked through a yawn at a rest stop in Pennsylvania.

“An old friend in DC. She should be able to put us up for a couple days.” Alex hovered over the call button nervously. It was late... He didn't want to wake anyone up.

“Which friend?”

 

 

A shrill ringing jolted Eliza Schuyler from a sound, dreamless, sleep. She barely registered that the call was coming from an unknown number when she picked up, figuring she'd just hang up on whoever it was anyway.

“Hello?” She cleared her throat to get rid of some of the sleepiness in her voice and tried again. “Who is this?”

“ _Eliza? Is this Eliza Schuyler?_ ” The voice on the other end sounded scared. Anxious.

“This is she. Who are you, and how did you get this number?” She was propped up on her elbow now. The soft sounds of Maria stirring next to her bringing her some comfort.

“ _It's- It's Alex... Alexander Hamilton._ ”

“Alex!?” Eliza sat bolt upright, startling Maria awake. “Oh my god! Where are you!? Where have you _been_!?” Her hands shook as she fired off her questions.

“ _I uh... I'm in Pennsylvania now. On my way back to DC. I need a place to stay for a few days._ ” He certainly didn't sound like the Alexander that had left four years ago. “ _And I'm not alone. Please Eliza... This is an emergency._ ”

“Of course!” She gasped. “God, Alexander... you sound awful... What's going on?”

“ _I'll explain everything when I get there. You still live in the same house I imagine?_ ” Eliza nodded before she remembered that he couldn't see her.

“Yeah. I'm still in the same spot. I'll call Angelica and Peggy. They've been worried sick about you too... How long until you get here? How many people do you have with you? I can have the guest room made up in no time.”

“ _It's me, my friend and my... my boyfriend. We'll be there in about two hours. Look... Liza... I have to warn you. We aren't doin' so great._ ” Eliza's heart clenched when she heard his nervous laugh. “ _Like, really not great. It's been a rough few years and a rough few hours so... be gentle with us okay?_ ”

“You'll be safe here.” She assured him, trying to ignore the quiet sob she heard on the other end of the line.

“ _Thank you._ ”

 

Eliza stared at the phone in her hand when the line went dead and blinked, rubbing her eyes and trying to decide if the conversation she'd just had was a dream or not.

“Who was that on the phone?” Maria sat up and rested her chin on her shoulder, her arms coming to wrap around her waist and pull her in close. “You look like you've heard a ghost.” She teased.

“I kind of did... It was Alex. You met briefly before he went to New York. He wasn't supposed to have been there this long... He was just going for a funeral. I thought the worst.”

“And he's on his way here now?” Eliza nodded and turned to kiss Maria's cheek.

“Yeah... I need to set up the guest room and call my sisters. Could you give me a hand?”

 

Alex tried his damnedest to stay awake once they got back into the car, but it was getting harder. He'd had a long day. He didn't want to point anything else out to Hercules. Part of him wanted to tell him to skip DC altogether and just keep going south until they couldn't go south anymore, then just set up a new life wherever they landed. But he couldn't do that. He'd woken up Eliza. She was worried about him. He needed to see go her.

“Do you need to sleep?” Hercules turned the radio down just a bit and glanced over at him. He shook his head but yawned. “Alex.”

“'m fine...” He insisted. “Not that much longer anyway...”

“Take a nap. You said she lives in a gated community right? I'll wake you up when we get there. Then you can point out the right house to me, okay?” Hercules' tone didn't leave any room for disagreement, but in a different way than Thomas' had. Alex decided that he liked it.

“Fine.” He huffed, pulling his sweatshirt closer and leaning against the window. Much to his surprise, it didn't take long at all to fall asleep. And he stayed asleep. He didn't even dream. Judging by how stiff his neck was when Hercules woke him up, and the wet spot on his hand, he hadn't moved at all either.

“I think this is it.” Alex rubbed the eye that wasn't swollen shut and squinted at the name of the subdivision. “Yeah, this is the one. You have to go all the way to the back to get to Eliza's house.” He yawned and gestured down the road. “It branches off there at the end. Take the left side.”

“You got it.” No matter how much time he'd spent in this subdivision when he was still living in DC and friends with Eliza, or how long he'd lived in Thomas' house in New York, the size of the homes here blew him away.

“That's the one. There. With the woman on the front porch.” Alex pointed, his heart racing. He had hardly spoken to Eliza since he went back to New York, but she looked exactly the same. Seeing her waiting on her porch, radiant as ever, he was suddenly hyper aware of his own appearance. He checked himself in the visor mirror and winced when he pushed his hair back to put it in a more presentable ponytail. Hercules pulled into the driveway and Alex took a breath to steady himself when Eliza looked up from the book she had been reading and turned to yell something into the house. She was running down the front steps by the time he got out of the car and he caught a glimpse of the tears on her cheeks before she threw her arms around his neck.

“Oh my god...” She choked, her face buried in his shoulder. Alex broke down and hugged her tight, his face in her hair as he cried. Two other pairs of arms circled him from either side and he cried harder, his knees going weak. He vaguely registered the sounds of Hercules and John getting out of the car and the trunk popping open over Eliza's own sobs and gentle shushing from Angelica and Peggy. “Alexander...” Eliza backed up first, bringing a hand up to cup his unbruised cheek. “Oh, Alex what happened to you...?” Both of her sisters looked horrified when they actually saw him.

“It's... It's a long story.” He whispered. “I'm so happy to see you Eliza. God...” Gentle fingers wiped away the fresh tears that rolled down his cheek. “I thought I'd never see you again...”

“Let's get you all inside.” Angelica broke away from their huddle and went to offer Hercules help with the bags while Eliza and Peggy led John and Alex up the walkway. He held John's hand tight when he saw how anxious he looked.

“It's okay.. We'll be safe here.” He reassured him quietly, leaning in to kiss his cheek. John nodded, but didn't say anything as they came through the front door.

“You two sit here. I'll be right back with some coffee, alright?” Eliza, ever the perfect hostess ushered them into her living room before following Peggy into the kitchen, Angelica and Hercules joining them and setting the bags on the other side of the room.

“Ang...” Alex kissed her on both cheeks. He'd never seen Angelica Schuyler cry... “I'm so sorry I never called... I can explain, really I-”

“Alex.” Angelica put a hand over his mouth to stop his babbling. “You don't need to explain anything. You don't need to apologize.” Her lips trembled when she smiled at him. “Sit down and catch your breath.” Eliza came back holding a tray of mugs, coffee creamer and sugar, followed closely by a woman whose name he couldn't quite remember, who had an arm around her waist, and Peggy with a plate of cookies.

“Sorry I didn't introduce myself out front.” Eliza tucked her hair behind her ears and held out a hand to Hercules after she set the tray down. “Elizabeth Schuyler. Alex and I went to school together.” Hercules shook her hand as she continued. “These are my sisters, Angelica and Peggy.” She gestured to each in turn. “And this is my partner Maria Reynolds.” Alex didn't miss the way her eyes lit up when she introduced Maria, and he smiled.

“Hercules Mulligan.” He nodded at the four women in front of him.

“John Laurens.” Alex was surprised to hear John speak. His voice was raspy and weak but still carried the charm he had fallen in love with. “Alex's boyfriend. He's told me so much about you. The infamous Schuyler Sisters.” Even bruised and exhausted, he still had his charming smile. “Y'all are so sweet to take us in like this.” He shook each hand offered and leaned down to kiss their knuckles each time. Alex had to stifle a laugh.

“My beau, the Southern Gentleman.” He rolled his eyes and John grinned playfully.

“Well done.” Peggy elbowed him gently in the side and he gasped, reaching up to hold his ribs. “Oh my god! I'm sorry! Are you alright?”

“I'll be fine. They're just cracked.” He assured her. “I've had worse.” He immediately regretted that when Eliza's eyes went wide. He winced when he sat down between John and Hercules, helping himself to a cup of coffee and trying not to bend too much.

“It's decaf.” Maria chimed in. “I figured you'd want something warm, but you'd want to go straight up to bed.” She and Eliza took the love seat on the opposite side of the coffee table while Angelica settled into a chair and Peggy sat cross-legged on the floor between her sisters.

“Thank you.” He offered a smile while he fixed it the way he liked. A little bit of cream, lots of sugar.

The silence that had fallen while everyone settled in started to feel uncomfortable and Alex tapped his fingers nervously on his mug, looking down into his coffee like it could tell him where to start. Hercules was a solid weight against his right side, and John was pressed close to his left, his hand on his knee, squeezing gently. He opened his mouth but couldn't find the words he needed and just sighed.

“Whenever you're ready.” Eliza's voice was soft, soothing. Just as lovely as the last time he'd heard it. “There's no rush.” He nodded slowly.

“I just don't know where to start...”

“The last time I heard from you was about a week after your grandmother's funeral.” She prompted. “I think you'd mentioned that you were staying with a couple friends at the time.” Hercules went stiff beside him.

“Yeah.. I'd met Hercules and...” He choked. “And his fiancé Lafayette by then and I was staying on their couch. They actually introduced me to John.” He smiled and put his hand over John's.

“The second best day of my life.”

“Second best?” Peggy raised an eyebrow.

“The best was when he officially started dating us- me.” He tried to correct himself.

“Us?” Eliza looked a little shocked and Alex tried not to laugh at that.

“I told you... It's a long story...”

 

Alex went though everything. His last six years. He told them about Aaron, about living with Hercules and Lafayette. About meeting John and Thomas and about how sweet Thomas had been. How he'd fallen head over heals for the boy with galaxies on his cheeks and the man who could give them the world if they asked for it. But he had to tell them about the price he paid to have the world. His voice shook when he spoke about what Thomas had done to Aaron, and what he'd payed Charles to do to him. Eliza and Maria mirrored each other on the love seat, holding hands tightly between them, their other hands covering their mouths, Peggy looked furious, and Angelica almost looked like she was going to be sick.

He told them about the fights, about the drugs, about how Thomas started selling him for a song. He told them about George. He wanted to skip things. He truly did... But there was something about Eliza that always made him open up. So he kept talking. He told them about the night he'd almost lost John, and how he'd gone home with George that night. He stammered though the repercussions of that night until he got to Lafayette... His voice failed him and the tears came back, so Hercules took over for him.

“He was just trying to help. He could see the way Thomas treated these two, we both could. But no one goes up against Thomas Jefferson... Tom had a gun to Alex's head... When Lafayette tried to get him away he...”

“Oh my god...” Eliza whispered behind her hand.

“We've pretty much been locked up since his funeral.” John put in, not looking up from his knees. “Tonight was the second night we've gone back since then.”

“Someone tried to grab John and Thomas took it the wrong way... He took us home and... well.” Alex gestured to himself. “He said he would kill us if we left him... With everything he's done, he's never said that... When he went back to the bar I called Herc and we got the fuck out.” Alex leaned back against the couch and sighed. “And now we're here.”

“I'm so glad you're here Alex.” Eliza wiped at her cheeks. “I'm so sorry... I should have tried harder to keep in touch I-”

“No. I'm glad you didn't. If I'd left on my own who knows what would have happened to John... And Thomas doesn't know about you. You're safe because we didn't keep in touch. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you because of me...” John shifted a little next to him and rubbed a hand over his eyes. The sun had come up since they'd sat down and none of them had gotten very much sleep.

“Come on. We'll talk more later.” Eliza offered a hand to Alex, who graciously accepted the help. “I've got one of the guest rooms set up for you. I would have two, but Peggy's in the middle of moving so I've got a ton of boxes in the other spare room.”

“No problem. I think... I think I'd rather be with both of them tonight anyway... I need the comfort, you know?”

“Of course.” She and Maria led the way upstairs, with Angelica and Peggy following behind Alex, John, and Hercules. “Here. The bed's only a queen, so it might be a tight squeeze.”

“I'm sure we'll manage.” John smiled. “Thank you.” It warmed Alex's heart to see his boyfriend and one of his oldest friends hugging like they'd known each other their whole lives. John and Hercules made their rounds, hugging each of the Schuyler Sisters and Maria, thanking them for listening. The two of them went to put their bags in the room, while Maria went back to Eliza's room after giving her a kiss on the cheek, and Angelica and Peggy went back down to the living room after giving Alex another set of hugs, leaving him alone in the hallway with Eliza.

“You haven't changed a bit.” He smiled, pushing her hair out of her face gently. She gave him a half smile in return.

“I wish I could say the same... You hardly even look like yourself anymore Alex...” She shook her head. “I'm sorry, that was-”

“You're right.” He shrugged. “I do look a lot different. Just give this time to heal,” he gestured to the bruised side of his face. “And give me a couple months to put weight back on and I'll be right as rain.” Eliza wrapped him in another tight hug. He didn't even mind the pain in his ribs.

“I missed you Alexander Hamilton... Promise me you won't run off like that again.”

“I missed you too Eliza Schuyler... I promise I won't run off again.” Eliza laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

“Get some sleep.” She smiled.

 

Alex changed slowly after he said goodnight to Eliza, wincing when he tried to pull his shirt off. He finally got into a comfortable pair of sweats and decided to skip putting a new shirt on, climbing into bed between John and Hercules, the trio whispering ' _goodnight_ 's and ' _I love you_ 's to each other. Alex pulled John into his arms and kissed the top of his head.

“ _Je t'aime._ ”

“ _Je t'aime aussi_.”

He listened to John's breathing as it evened out and he slipped away to sleep. He knew... He knew what love was. This was love. In the warm silence between the three of them, Alex knew that he was safe, he knew that John was safe. He knew that they would all need time to heal, time to forget, time to start over... But for the moment, there was nothing they needed to do and nothing he would rather do than fall asleep. And he knew that he was loved. He felt tears on his cheeks, soaking into John's hair when he tightened his arms around his waist, and for the first time, he didn't want to hide his tears. Thomas hated it when he cried... But Thomas wasn't here. He would never be there again. He was free. And he was so, so loved...

 

XOXO

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it.
> 
> I would just like to say, thank you all so very, very much for all of the amazing support and the lovely comments and messages you've all sent me over the last year. I am so honored to have your attention. This has been an amazing journey for me, I've never had a fic receive this much attention or this kind of following. You're all so amazing and I wouldn't have finished this without you. I went through some hard times and all of the love and concern you all showed for me just.... It warms my heart. It honestly does. 
> 
> I can't wait to see you all in the next fic. Keep an eye out for more from me, and as always feel free to send me any prompts you have. I'll be expanding in this verse with stand alone chapters every now and then so if there's anything you want to know, just send it in on my Tumblr: alexander--reid
> 
> So one last time, comments, kudos, and bookmarks make my day so please, please, please leave those for me.  
> Be safe. Be kind. Be good to each other.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys didn't think I'd just leave it at that did you?
> 
> Welcome back to Hold Me Down, one last time... Enjoy.

XOXO

 

_Five years later..._

 

“I'm leaving!” Alex called back through the apartment, pulling his coat on. Hercules called a 'have a good day!' from the kitchen and John came out of their room in his sweats, holding their little cat, lovingly named Lafayette, on his shoulder.

“Have a good day.” He smiled, leaning in for a kiss. “Oh and can you pick up some wine for dinner tomorrow night at Eliza's? We have some but I want to get something special.”

“Of course.” Alex returned the kiss gently. “I might be a little late getting home tonight, so you two don't need to wait to have dinner okay?”

“Alright. Just let me know when you're on your way home okay?” The lingering fear in John's eyes twisted Alex's heart into a knot. They had been in DC for five years now, not even a word from Thomas, or anyone they knew in New York, but both of them still looked around every corner, hearts pounding, they hardly ever stayed out past sunset on their own, and avoided crowded clubs all together. They had tried a couple times to go out dancing but in the dim lights with the loud music and strange hands on them, it hadn't ended well.

“I will _chéri_.” Alex kissed John's shoulder and gave him a little squeeze. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

Alex ran his hand back through his hair and frowned at his phone, then the street around him. He was supposed to be meeting with two of his coworkers for a lunch meeting, but they were nowhere to be seen, and twenty minutes late. He almost jumped when his phone went off and sighed when he read the text.

 

* _From B. Tal_ : Meeting canceled again. Jay back in the hospital.  
* _To B. Tal_ : Thanks for letting me know. I'll be in the office for the three o'clock meeting.  
* _From B. Tal_ : Thank you Hamilton. See you at three.

 

He groaned and sat on a bench, his knees protesting in the cold weather. He stared at the clock on his phone and wondered if it would be worth the time and money to get a cab and go home for lunch at twelve thirty. He decided against it, checking Google for a good restaurant in the area before getting up again, pocketing his phone and heading down the block.

“Excuse me miss. Can you help me find-” Alex turned sharply.

' _That voice..._ ' He scanned the crowd on the sidewalk and breathed out a sigh when it was all unfamiliar faces. He didn't know if that was a good thing or not. ' _I wonder how he is..._ ' He pulled his one glove back on and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, constantly looking down and apologizing when he bumped into someone's shoulder. He pushed the door of the little sandwich shop open and shook a few snowflakes out of his hair, smiling a little. It was a cozy little place with art on the walls, warm low lighting and a few couches situated around a fire place. He kept one eye on a particularly comfortable looking chair while he ordered a coffee and a sandwich.

“I'll call you when the sandwich is up if you want to take a seat somewhere.” The girl behind the counter, her name tag said “Beth”, smiled brightly and Alex couldn't help but smile back, dropping a five in the tip jar and taking his coffee. When he turned around he ran face first into a solid wall of muscle and suit, the lid popping off of his cup and splashing coffee on the stranger's chest.

“Shit! Oh my god I am so sorry!” Alex kept his eyes down when he whipped back around and grabbed a handful of napkins, turning back to press them against the spot. “Send me the bill for your dry cleaning sir, I'll take care of it. My name's-”

“Alexander?” He looked up and his breath caught in his throat.

“George...” He stood frozen with his handful of napkins pressed against George's chest, his heart thudding away behind his ribs. “Oh my god.” George pulled him in to a tight hug and he hugged back, laughing and crying at the same time.

“Here's your sandwich Alex.” Beth handed over the wrapped up sandwich when Alex and George broke their hug.

“Thank you. Hey, if you have a rag back there, I'll clean up this spill.” He smiled apologetically. She shook her head.

“Don't worry about it. It was about time to mop again anyway.”

“Let me get you another coffee.” George offered, pulling out his wallet and stepping up to the counter. Alex put a hand over his to stop him from pulling out his card.

“I'll get it. I never paid you back for dinner.”

“What dinner? The last time I bought you dinner was-” He broke off.

“Just get yourself some lunch. I'll be over there.” Alex nodded at the chair he had spotted when he first came in and picked up the new cup of coffee that Beth had set on the counter. His heart was still pounding in his chest and his anxiety prickled at the back of his throat but he had gotten better at coping, and his new medication was working wonders for him. He sat down heavily, sighing when he sunk into the plush cushion and taking a sip of his coffee to help push back his nerves.

“Here's your card.” George handed the credit card over when he sat down on the couch next to the chair. He was silent for a while after that. “Alexander...” He looked up, cradling his coffee carefully when George spoke again. “I thought... I don't know what I thought. How are you? How long have you been here? Does... _he_ know where you are?”

“I'm great. John, Herc and I came down here about five years ago. My friend Eliza and her sisters helped us get back on our feet. Thomas has no idea where we are. And if he does, he hasn't cared enough to come for us.” Alex kept his eyes on his coffee. “We try not to talk about him...” He could feel George's eyes on him.

“Why didn't you come to me...?” The hurt was clear in his voice. “Alex... I told you to call me if you ever needed me. You didn't tell me you were leaving. I thought the worst...” He laid a hand on Alex's.

“We couldn't tell anyone. We couldn't risk him finding us, so we just packed and left in the middle of the night. It was the second night John and I came back to the lounge after...” He bit at his lower lip nervously. “He...” Alex choked on his words. “He almost killed John when we got home. And he outright threatened to kill both of us if we tried to leave him...”

“Christ... Alex I'm so-”

“Enough about him okay? It's ancient history.” Alex waved his hand, dismissing the subject and locking up the memories again. “What about you? What brings you to DC?”

“I needed a change of scenery. After you left, there wasn't much keeping me in New York. I remembered how much you said you loved it here, so I thought I would give it a shot.” George smiled and looked around. “I'm glad I came. It's a nice city.”

“It is.” Alex smiled back. “How long have you been here? Do you still have your house in New York?” George laughed.

“Only a couple months actually. Yeah, I've still got it. Couldn't bear to part with it. So how are John and Hercules?”

“John's amazing.” Alex sighed fondly. “He's a counselor at a rehab facility now. We got married a year ago next week.” He blushed and smiled.

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks. Hercules works nights as a security guard down at the Smithsonian, and in his free time he runs a tailor shop.”

“Is he seeing anyone?” Alex shook his head then shrugged.

“Not really. He's kind of with me and John, but after Lafayette... He hasn't really been the same, you know?” George frowned a little and nodded sympathetically. “He still has so much love to give but after everything, I don't think any of us could ever be with anyone else. I don't know what I would have done without John...” Alex sat straight up when his phone rang. “Hamilton.” He answered, straightening his shoulders a little and fighting to keep back a smile when he saw the way George was looking at him with pride gleaming in his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah I can come in a little earlier. I'm just a few blocks away actually. Sounds good. Thanks Jack. Let Ben know I'll be there in a bit.”

“Work?”

“Yeah. I'm back at the White House.” Now he did smile proudly. “Back in communications.”

“That's great Alex. That's amazing. I'm so proud of you.” George leaned forward and hugged him again. “Well, I don't want to keep you any longer. Sounds like you've got something important to get to.” Alex laughed.

“It's just Jack. He can wait a few more minutes. Hey, here's my new number.” Alex took George's phone and put his number in, then sent himself a text. “You should come by for dinner tonight.” He smiled, texting back from his own phone with his address. “I'm sure John and Herc would be happy to see you.”

“I'd love to. Does seven work for you?”

“That's perfect.” Alex stood, finishing off his coffee and tossing the empty cup in the trash. “It was so good seeing you. I'm glad I ran into you.” He laughed. “And I was serious. I'll cover the dry cleaning bill. Don't worry about it.” He shot a text to John, telling him that they were having company for dinner at seven, and that he would be home by six.

 

“So Alexander, who's coming over?” John asked at six forty-five while he finished setting the table. Alex was smiling.

“Mr. Washington.”

“George is coming over?” Hercules came around the corner. “How the hell did that happen?”

“He moved down here a couple months ago. I bumped into him- literally- while I was getting coffee this afternoon. We caught up a little and I invited him over to see you two. He should be here any-” Alex was cut off by a knock at the door. “That's probably him.” He leaned over the table to kiss John. “I'll let him in. Hey, I love you.

“I love you too.” John felt a cold chill and his gut clenched with unexpected dread. “Alex, wait.”

“George you're-” Alex let out a small choked noise and John felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach when the door swung open. “Thomas....”

“Hello Alexander. Remember what I said about leaving?”

 

_Click._

 

“ _Alex!!_ ”

 

XOXO

 


	23. News from Alex!?

Hey y'all!!

Alex here, just stopping in to let you know that there's a new branch of this fic! Go read "Five Years" to answer your questions about how the end of this fic came to be!

The response to Hold Me Down has been absolutely AMAZING. I honestly never expected all of this, and it warms my heart to see all your reviews. I wish I could respond to every comment I've gotten here personally but I think it'll be better explained in the new fic.

As always, thank you so so so SO much for reading. I love you all!!

 

ALSO!!!! I've opened commissions! Go to my Tumblr (alexander--reid *with two dashes*) and search "commissions" for more info on that if that's a thing you're interested in.

Much Love,  
Alex

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Price of Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10445868) by [OnarchyAnarchy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnarchyAnarchy/pseuds/OnarchyAnarchy)




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